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Based off of personal experiences do you think you are much more likely to have a satisfying marriage if you and your mate are fundamentally similar (birds if a feather). Or, do you think opposites attract and offer a complimentary component to your relationship? I was reading an article about this and I was curious what has worked for you all.
My husband and I are complete opposites in temperament. And if you’re very different, I know its hard to understand the other person as opposed to being similar. Thoughts?
Opposites seem to attract, but they are more likely to grow further apart over time. After 23 years of marriage, my wife and I are very far apart with our only shared interest being our kids. We have tried to have shared interests, but we just do not enjoy the same things. I think if we were more alike, it would be easier to find things to do together like (my interests) hiking, camping, shooting, tennis, car racing, sailing, etc, all things I love to do but she hates.
When this had been studied by social psychologists, the findings are typically in favor of the birds of a feather end of the spectrum.
In my personal experience, it also rings true. Compatibility matters. That said, it depends on how you define what exactly "opposite" entails. Some one who is your opposite in, say, personality traits may not be your opposite in core values, which may be more important. Being different in temperament doesn't mean you're not compatible in goals, values, etc.
Some people's taste is to be with someone they identify with, who reacts in ways they can anticipate because they react similarly, who shares common tastes and interests so they can easily share experiences, etc. Others don't hugely prioritize such things. Basic core values should mesh for a successful relationship, but beyond that, the details are largely just personal taste.
I believe, with communication, honesty and understanding, any two very different or similar-alike individuals can have a satisfying relationship.
^^this^^ in the end it doesnt matter if two people are opposites, or similar, they have to communicate with each other, and recognize their differences and deal with them.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Aura 524
And then there are those who believe that familiarity breeds contempt.
without familiarity, it is hard to breed anything
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If a relationship works, there is no purpose in trying to categorize it. Success always speaks for itself.
Opposites attract in my opinion sometimes shy people usually end up with outgoing people. Less attractive people end up with attractive people. That's what I think.
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