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At some point, you figure out that there's a very low chance, if any chance at al, of finding mutual sexual attraction. You try talking to attractive women at bars, parties, the gym, etc., and they just don't respond to you like they do to good-looking guys. You're not attractive to the women you're attracted to.
You have 3 options:
Try to lower your standards
Focus on making $$$
Hope for a miracle
Option (2) isn't always feasible since by the time you're in your mid-20s or later you don't have much control over how much money you'll make in the future; your earning potential is already pre-ordained, unless you're able to get into medical school or something. Anyways, it would involve years of work and, although you may get attractive women, they're more attracted to the lifestyle you can provide them with than they are your innate qualities.
Option (3) is what most guys decide on. Just hope that one day you'll sit on the bus next to an attractive woman who will start talking to you and ask for your number.
Option (1) means you have to consider whether it's worth it to be in a relationship if there is no raw sexual attraction. Also it will involve a lot of time, effort, dealing with rejection and so forth, just to get in a relationship. Simply not worth it for a lot of guys.
These standards that have been created that I have seen discussed in these threads, is just sad. I cannot believe that this has been established as THE way to think. Some of us have shared, that it is not all about what is external that matters. Yes, there are some men who initially turn heads, but as mentioned, they can be ass___ s, anyway.
I always found that it was personality and confidence that was appealing, besides a guy knowing how to dress and wear his hair appropriately and overall good grooming, that creates attractiveness. One exhibiting good traits will draw others. One does not need perfect physical features or lots of money to appeal to females, but it seems that some believe that this must be the key, if they are not attracting a "20-year old hottie".
Let's recap what the OP thinks - (which reflects what some other men on CD seem to think, too):
* In order to find a woman, they need to "lower standards". Find a "desperate" female, yet won't be physically attracted, so sex would not work and since that is what life is all about, what would be the point?
* Surely, a big-wig with money could spoil a "hottie of their dreams", then they could ensure for her to be with them (though there would be nothing there - except that he wants her body and she wants his money). How fulfilling.
* They could spend the rest of their days fantasizing about "magazine-girl", instead of developing himself as a person and also seeing the positives in others to become involved with.
As one mentioned, some guys must think that how they are dressed "is okay"...they may not comb their hair or look kind of dorky or awkward when walking, with their backpack.. or whatever. If you want to be seen for your innate qualities, then "clean up the package". Don't assume that a woman is a certain way by looks - she could be a jerk. (Don't you realize that women want to seen for inner qualities, too?). Another thing, the idea that "all women want money"... look, there is ONE mutual type who does this.. the GUY who will go for the female who also seeks a sugar daddy. Women want a guy who works, is a responsible adult, who treats her properly, is kind, genuine and has other positive traits, besides something physically appealing to her.
The idea is ridiculous that a female over 30 will have nothing going for them (though one older can be more experienced and in touch with their sexuality). What - do men from age 20 - 60 continually seek only immature girls? There must be a lot of unhappy males due to limited viewpoints and unrealistic expectations. Surely, not all men do this, and as said - look around in public and see couples .. not always so perfect-looking on the outside, but might have a lot going on together, otherwise. Look at how many celebrity relationships don't work, even if both outwardly attractive. Do you know why? Because there are incompatibilities no matter what and is not one-dimensional. (It seems that some males don't develop fully, hanging on to some immature notions instead of maturing overall).
If that's the case....they do it to themselves. No one is forcing them to be interested in women.
To these guys points, I'd wager more men struggle to find women than vice versa. That's NOT to say there are not women who struggle, because there are. However, a man of average looks can easily become an incel if he is socially awkward and introverted. The odds of that happening to a woman of similar physical attraction is much slimmer, in my opinion. It's just the nature of how men and women find each other.
So we end up with a lot of men complaining because simply put, there are way more men in this struggle than women.
Yeah, I don't feel like I had tons more options when I was younger than I do now, but I guess I did since there were more single guys then. Yes, I did receive attention from older men and was never interested. On the contrary, I was always interested in younger guys no matter what age I was, so I always felt too old even when I was young. I'm sure being attracted to older men might've made things easier but I just never was and I'm still not.
Yeah, I felt the same as you.. attracting those my age or younger. And since men seek younger women and I am not going to be drawn to an even older man now, it's all over - either way.
Quote:
Originally Posted by believe007
Lol another thread with misconceptions....
Again I'll clarify a few things.
The notion that women just get
desperate because they get older in itself is wrong.
I've had tons of guys hitting on me from
the time I was an early teen,
throughout my 20s, 30s & now my 40s......
Amusingly enough I've always been able to
have my pick of men ranging in ages
from 20s through 70.....
That's only going on real life
encounters, no online b.s.
So you guys saying all women get
desperate are delusional.
Yes, I don't get this either, because like yourself, it was not the case for me. (However, there can be a cut-off point ultimately for women, due to this conditioning).
To these guys points, I'd wager more men struggle to find women than vice versa. That's NOT to say there are not women who struggle, because there are. However, a man of average looks can easily become an incel if he is socially awkward and introverted. The odds of that happening to a woman of similar physical attraction is much slimmer, in my opinion. It's just the nature of how men and women find each other.
So we end up with a lot of men complaining because simply put, there are way more men in this struggle than women.
Again, it's not a "struggle." It's just life. You know, even the most beautiful women can be painfully shy. Or things happen in life that can cause a previously confident, outgoing woman to become socially anxious, and she's gotta deal with that just as much as her male peer does. It's not any easier for her. Especially if she's attractive. Because people (especially young men who lack life experience) have this ridiculous misconception that attractive women have the world by the tail.
And, if none of the men who pursue her appeal to her or are otherwise unsuitable, then, clearly, she's in the same boat as all the guys complaining that they can't find someone THEY'RE attracted to, isn't she?
Again, it's not a "struggle." It's just life. You know, even the most beautiful women can be painfully shy. Or things happen in life that can cause a previously confident, outgoing woman to become socially anxious, and she's gotta deal with that just as much as her male peer does. It's not any easier for her. Especially if she's attractive. Because people (especially young men who lack life experience) have this ridiculous misconception that attractive women have the world by the tail.
And, if none of the men who pursue her appeal to her or are otherwise unsuitable, then, clearly, she's in the same boat as all the guys complaining that they can't find someone THEY'RE attracted to, isn't she?
C'est la vie.
But at the same time, I think it seems like romantically unsuccessful women lean into their situation more often. They focus on the jobs or their hobbies or their friends and family, and they don't make up words like "incel" and "MGOTW" They buy batteries, download some new erotica and live their lives. They're not angry at the world or feel entitled to attention.
Last edited by fleetiebelle; 05-08-2016 at 08:54 AM..
But at the same time, I think it seems like romantically unsuccessful women lean into their situation more often. They focus on the jobs or their hobbies or their friends and family, and they don't make up words like "incel" and "MGOTW" They buy batteries, download some new erotica and live their lives.
Chicks have all the leverage in their 20s. They're young, hot, in shape. They're a hot commodity. They're getting offers from hundreds of men, men who are better than the average man in every way. Thus....their attitudes towards the average guy. Nature is a ***** though. They turn 30 one day. They get fat. Have kids. Breasts drop. Get wrinkles. Crow's feet. The only value they offer is one with diminishing returns and the compound effect is not pretty. Then, a new crop of 20 year olds come in to replace them. Suddenly, those girls become more "mature" and ready for a "real relationship" and a "good guy". LOL. I call it desperation and realizing you're no longer worth much on the dating market. Thankfully, by that point, most men are wise enough to know bullsh*t when they see it and if they're still interested, they're now that older guy that's running through the younger women.
So says yet another angry, delusional (probably) young guy who's likely got little to offer now, least of all in the looks department, and won't be any better looking when he's older.
^^^^^Those women are painfully lonely
though--batteries, toys & erotica is no
substitute for the real thing.
So as far as them holding up by
keeping busy, it's not fooling anybody.
I meet women who tell me
that they should've been more open to guys they rejected.....
Now they are all alone & fading.....
Looks wise & energetically wise....
So that's the other reality....
Hey! There ain't nothin' wrong with hanging out with one's cats. I'm lounging in bed with mine right now. And they're adorable.
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(though one older can be more experienced and in touch with their sexuality). What - do men from age 20 - 60 continually seek only immature girls? There must be a lot of unhappy males due to limited viewpoints and unrealistic expectations. Surely, not all men do this, and as said - look around in public and see couples .. not always so perfect-looking on the outside, but might have a lot going on together, otherwise. Look at how many celebrity relationships don't work, even if both outwardly attractive. Do you know why? Because there are incompatibilities no matter what and is not one-dimensional. (It seems that some males don't develop fully, hanging on to some immature notions instead of maturing overall).
