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I have a rather strange issue that perhaps to you isn't a big deal but I think it's really strange.
Some background: I am 28, wife is 26 and we have been married 2 years. We met at a previous job we both had and dated for 2 1/2 years before finally getting married.
Things have been pretty well all through out but from the title there is one thing that really bothers me. For the past 4 or so much she has been going to these slumber parties with her friends and she does it I would say 2 or 3 times a month. She will leave at 8 and not get back till 10 or 11 the next day. I brought up to her saying I don't have any trouble with her having girls night out even if late but having actual slumber parties seems a bit much and even kind of childish. She said I was making a big deal out of nothing and was just being jealous?
Anyway I decided to drop it and had some friends of my own that I haven't gotten to see much since I got married and thought hey while my wife is at her slumber party I could be staying over with my guy friends, not as a slumber party or even sleep just stay up late hanging out playing video games etc.
Well when I told my wife that she got furious, I asked her why it was okay for her to stay over all night with her girlfriends but it was wrong for me to do so with my guy friends. She responded with "guys don't have slumber parties". Which I never referred to it as but she did. It just really bugs me. I think either she should either stop with the whole slumber party thing or allow me to stay at my guy friends place when she has hers.
There is something you don't know. Dead giveaways:
1. The frequency. None of the friends at these "slumber parties" have significant others or children? They all have plenty of time to do this 2 or 3 times per month?
2. The sudden on-set. Until 4 months ago, no slumber parties. Now, 2 or 3 per month. Hmm.
3. Her anger when you said you want to do the same.
She is not being honest about something.
Agreed, none of this is normal behavior for an adult married woman. I would be inclined to borrow a friend's vehicle and do a stakeout of the next "slumber" party.
Well, I go away without my husband, and I usually leave on a Wednesday and return on a Sunday, sometimes to Vegas, and yes, there is liquor involved. He is free to do the same.
Quote:
Originally Posted by HokieFan
Roughly twice a year, my husband has a guy's night out where 10-15 college buddies bar hop and stay the night at a hotel (no way for them to safely get home). All of them are married, and most have multiple children.
I am really not trying to rub shoulders but obviously both of your cases are entirely different. You can't compare your traditionally planned and agreed "get away" with a couple who obviously are struggling with sensitivity awareness issues.
Going away to Vegas or having a girl's night out at a hotel, which is pre-planned in advance, is fine. But random slumber parties are totally different and this lends itself to unhealthy behavior- especially when it is obvious that after the 1st month, your spouse is a bit concerned- but you disregard otherwise. The frequency rate of 2-3 per month is excessive and without care for the integrity of the relationship.
Now, would you think it is ok to be going out 3 times per month staying until 10AM the next day?
I'm having a hard time wrapping my head around the term "slumber party." Kids do that in high school. I imagine pj's and pillowfights, lol.
Adults hang out, have "girls night" "guys night" etc... There's nothing wrong with that, although once a week sounds like a bit much.
She's just 26, and since they've been dating since she was 21, married at 24, it's quite possible she did not get a lot of fun nights out (or in) with same sex friends when she was younger. I was got out of a string of relationships around age 25 and again at age 29 and I hit the club scene pretty hard those years. If she's just found this group of "hang out friends" I can understand the desire to socialize with them.
Married life is often dull, so I can understand the wife wanting to hang out with these friends, especially if she didn't get much of that from ages 18-22 which is when most people do it.
Like other said, I'm a little skeptical of the frequency and the necessity of staying the whole night each time.
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