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I have been with my boyfriend for two years and while he is great and attentive when he is not playing when he does he gets hooked for days, even weeks! He has also specifically taken days off when a new game comes out.
I really am tired of him playing his stupid games! I have told him and he says it's not bad because while he plays compulsively when he first gets it he puts the game away when he's finished and does everything he needs to do. Admittedly he hasn't missed any big events such as my birthday or Christmas or anything except for work he takes off beforehand I still think he should stop when I need or want something.
And while not as big an issue I am disturbed by the kinds of games he plays. Shooting games with lots of blood and guts, games where the women are very sexualized etc. He makes good money but spends a lot of it on gaming stuff. Which isn't all bad for example for my last birthday he presented me a high end computer he built for me, even got a pink case for it. He can be very sweet and thoughtful I just wish he didn't play as much. I asked him to please only play on the weekends and if we aren't doing anything of course but he said I was being selfish and unreasonable and even said that he does everything that is needed and still goes to important events and go on dates so he should be able to play when he wants.
I just don't know what to think. Please would love advice!
Playing a game for an hour or two? No problem. Pleasant diversion.
Playing for the length of time you describe? You are dealing with someone with little imagination. These are guys who wind up being emotionally stunted and pretty boring individuals.
Remember that, most of the time, those games are an escape from the world, not participation in it. So a guy who is staring at a video game for hours on end is a guy who isn't reading, listening to music, taking hikes, trying new restaurants, going to concerts, exercising, meeting new and interesting people, and infinite other activities that makes someone well-rounded and great to be around. It's no surprise that hard-core gamers tend to be horrid conversationalists, because they spend most of their waking hours interacting with a pretend world, not flesh-and-blood people.
Playing a game for an hour or two? No problem. Pleasant diversion.
Playing for the length of time you describe? You are dealing with someone with little imagination. These are guys who wind up being emotionally stunted and pretty boring individuals.
Remember that, most of the time, those games are an escape from the world, not participation in it. So a guy who is staring at a video game for hours on end is a guy who isn't reading, listening to music, taking hikes, trying new restaurants, going to concerts, exercising, meeting new and interesting people, and infinite other activities that makes someone well-rounded and great to be around. It's no surprise that hard-core gamers tend to be horrid conversationalists, because they spend most of their waking hours interacting with a pretend world, not flesh-and-blood people.
For who, you?
If the OP can't handle his personal free-time playing games, she needs to leave. It could be a lot worse. He could be out nailing other women and snorting blow. Games are his getaway. Everyone has one.
Maybe the OP is a really needy. We haven't heard her boyfriends side of the story.
Playing a game for an hour or two? No problem. Pleasant diversion.
Playing for the length of time you describe? You are dealing with someone with little imagination. These are guys who wind up being emotionally stunted and pretty boring individuals.
Remember that, most of the time, those games are an escape from the world, not participation in it. So a guy who is staring at a video game for hours on end is a guy who isn't reading, listening to music, taking hikes, trying new restaurants, going to concerts, exercising, meeting new and interesting people, and infinite other activities that makes someone well-rounded and great to be around. It's no surprise that hard-core gamers tend to be horrid conversationalists, because they spend most of their waking hours interacting with a pretend world, not flesh-and-blood people.
yep, describes my ex 100%.
Wherever we went, he couldn't wait leaving and going home to play. We went for a hike, he chose the shortest route there and wanted to go home asap. Was bored at ANY activity we did, even the ones he chose.
Horrid conservationalist. Playing until late night while I laid horny in bed. Got up and played, while I made breakfast. Played while I cleaned the house around him. I told him to at least walk the dog. He did - around one block so he can go back to his games.
He escaped the world. But hey, he reached the next levels - playing against teenagers and complained once they beat him. He was 36 years old. I accidentally dropped his xbox SEVERAL times, he got new ones, playstation, computer games ...
I reached the next level, too and kicked him out. He is now lonely and single and regrets ruining our marriage. He has no friends, no social skills but tons of games at home. He just contacted me, telling me how depressed he is and lonely and that he wants me back. Well ...
Well, there are always two sides to the story, right? Perhaps she was nagging him over very tiny minute things, I think a lot of women do it without even realizing it, and that can shut down guys fast. Lots of women beat men down and make men feel bad for things they like, even make fun of.
All the time I hear girls and women complain about men and their video game obsession. You know, what is it about video games? You're sitting there moving your fingers and nothing else, and you're playing a game that isn't real, right? That's what they say. And they can do it for hours on end. Did anyone ever think that it's because that's the one place they're allowed to go, they're allowed to be a man, they're allowed to fight, they're allowed to succeed, without the interference from women?
I take it you've dealt with an addict of any kind? You would not be such an apologist.
My sister doesn't nag. The one who is beat down in that relationship is my sister. He actually has it pretty easy. I know this because I've seen this and also had to be on the receiving end of it when he didn't pick up his own kid as scheduled repeatedly. How CPG describes those hardcore addicted gamers fit him to the T; Oh-Eve's experience is pretty similar to my sister's.
So spare me the other side's story bit. He never felt the need nor cared to deal with his gaming addiction, does it at his family's expense and spends thousands and thousands of dollars doing so. Maybe one day my sister will wake up and put an end to this.
OP needs to understand if it's a problem now, it'll still be a problem down the road and more likely a bigger one. If he won't get a handle on it, she needs to either make her peace with it or move on.
Let him have a friggin hobby, who cares if that's how he enjoys himself. What difference is it from you? I'm sure you have a hobby or interest most people find stupid.
Probably sit on facebook complaining about your boyfriend more than he plays videogames.
This topis is always entertaining. When men play video games, there is always someone trying to shame them. Let the man play his games, if he is taking care of his responsibilities, then what is the problem? Im sure everyone who is against gaming is also against sitting down staring at a tv watch some pointless show as well. Also books, cant have anyone sitting down for hours on end reading made up stories.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rise of virtue
This topis is always entertaining. When men play video games, there is always someone trying to shame them. Let the man play his games, if he is taking care of his responsibilities, then what is the problem? Im sure everyone who is against gaming is also against sitting down staring at a tv watch some pointless show as well. Also books, cant have anyone sitting down for hours on end reading made up stories.
Part of ones responsibilities when in a relationship is paying attention to the relationship, it isn't just cleaning the bathroom and paying the bills.
If the relationship is suffering and the other person is unhappy because of it, then one is not taking care of one's responsibilities.
Part of ones responsibilities when in a relationship is paying attention to the relationship, it isn't just cleaning the bathroom and paying the bills.
If the relationship is suffering and the other person is unhappy because of it, then one is not taking care of one's responsibilities.
It doesn't matter what the diversion is.
Look at what the OP is writing.
She's clearly not happy with anything unless he's doing what she says and when.
"I still think he should stop when I need or want something"
OP needs to get over herself, because even if she dumps this "horrible guy", her next boyfriend will have a "Friend addiction" "Golf addiction" "reading addiction" "work addiction".
She's clearly not happy with anything unless he's doing what she says and when.
"I still think he should stop when I need or want something"
OP needs to get over herself, because even if she dumps this "horrible guy", her next boyfriend will have a "Friend addiction" "Golf addiction" "reading addiction" "work addiction".
This.
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