Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,937 posts, read 36,951,955 times
Reputation: 40635
Advertisements
Quote:
Originally Posted by Just A Guy
You assume all of us have always had it easy with dating. That's not necessarily true. Many of us have gone through struggles. The difference we had a relatively positive outlook, didn't blame women, and eventually figured things out to make it somewhat easier.
That still doesn't mean that most guys have the kinds of women they desire just falling into their laps, because they don't.
Dating in my 20s sucked. It was all my fault. My bitterness, my anger, my unwillingness to look at the lowest common denominator. It took a lot of a tough love from friends before realizing I needed to fix me sunk in. Not support and encouragement, but tough love.
They are called True Forced Loneliness. The thing is usually these young men become successful later on in life. When they are usually around 30 years old to -35 years old they are successful. The reason for this is that these guy are usually well educated or have a good pay job. The women who rejected them all of a sudden want to date them because they want to get married. These women was having sex with the bad boys. After about a decade now they want a nice guy. But these nice guys don't want women anymore. They learned not to have a woman in their lives so they get used to it.
I know one guy although he did date other women. When he was young these women never wanted to give him any chance. In fact these women treated him poorly. But it's funny how that he's older and making good money these women contact him trying to date him.
I see those married guys too, OP. Still doesn't mean young men are having success with women. What it means is eventually, at some point, women decide they want a family and real commitment, and they realize they have to make some compromises to get that, because the guys they may have been chasing in their 20s aren't interested in commitment (with them). Ergo, the normal average guys you see with wives and families. You dig a little deeper and you see the wife has probably dated 20 different guys in her life whereas the guy has had maybe 3 or 4 girlfriends. Don't believe me....see any college campus. Are most of the guys having an active dating life? Somewhat. But it's nothing compared to the girls. So who are the girls dating? A small subset of guys who are hot, rich, etc. and they're dating 3-5 different girls at a time.
This was kinda proved with that OKC Study with women saying 80% of men were unnattractive. You have a bunch of guys who are average, barely meeting women. And you have a few guys who are rockstars dating more women than they can handle. This continues until the girls get older, start getting antsy and want commitment, as I stated above. This is where you see average people like your male friends finally hooking up. Trying to dismiss this doesn't make it less true. This is the reality right now. I literally see this everyday yet you say this on CDR and people act like you're speaking another language. It's like yall are drinking some special koolaid or something.
You must be kidding. If you believe this, you are the one drinking the KoolAide.
Lastly, and this is a bit tin-foil hat-ish is that masculinity is being suppressed by modern feminism. This isnt these guys faults, but they were taught masculinity is bad from a young age. Young boys are being drugged into compliance just for being young boys. Whenever I speak of traits such as competitiveness, strength, honor, loyalty, execpt for maybe "experience" tend to be met with hostility because they are masculine. And masculine is bad.
More KoolAide nonsense. No one says that strength, competitiveness, honor and loyalty are bad. Those things aren't bad in men, nor are they bad in women. Nor are they strictly masculine.
That is your prerogative of you giving people chances you weren't initially physically attracted to. My question is why do you and others need to scream at me because I don't do like you do?
Because you then complain that you struggle with dating.
I wasn't gonna respond to this but I will. I am personally not interested in women who make the first move, I was at first but not anymore and I won't apologize for not liking it. Just because a woman talks to me doesn't mean I have to take an interest in her because I won't be interested. It has nothing to do with self-sabotage, it's just not my thing. I've always been told to be a man, men ask women out not the other way around. But the second a woman talks to me and I say no, then it's a problem. Like seriously, what do you people want us to do?
So, basically, you are shutting out a large proportion of women, based on the arbitrary fact that you have to talk to them first because you've been "told" this.
You must be kidding. If you believe this, you are the one drinking the KoolAide.
I guess the point I am trying to make is that the goal of "being successful with women" is the first step in the direction the goal itself. The goal is failure in the making except for a small number of people (make or female really)> Getting lots of dates rather than being a person who relates to other people IS the attribute that makes people unattractive.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,937 posts, read 36,951,955 times
Reputation: 40635
Quote:
Originally Posted by MsVaslovik
I think it worth noting that Julia Roberts married Lyle Lovett. It's really a matter of what you are putting out there guys.
I don't think noting how celebrities live really helps anyone. They don't live in the same world.
Just as one would not look to a professional model for a workout or diet routine (no sane person would), they shouldn't look to stars for romantic advice.
I guess the point I am trying to make is that the goal of "being successful with women" is the first step in the direction the goal itself. The goal is failure in the making except for a small number of people (make or female really)> Getting lots of dates rather than being a person who relates to other people IS the attribute that makes people unattractive.
Sometimes you have to date a number of people before you find someone you're compatible with. Prior to meeting my G/F of a year and a half, I dated quite a few people, something like nine in a three week period.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
