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Old 05-17-2016, 12:59 PM
 
Location: Scottsdale, AZ
16,961 posts, read 17,260,337 times
Reputation: 30254

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Quote:
Originally Posted by femaleslayer View Post
I never said I was struggling to get a job. I said I could never work a job that wasn't easy. I also said I have money and don't need one. The only reason I have worked in the past was because I thought it would help me get girls. It didn't, so why work?

How do I have money?? The same way all rich kids do, inheritance. Completely useless when you can't get girls though since money doesn't create happiness, love does.
OK home skillets, if you say so.
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Old 05-17-2016, 01:33 PM
 
Location: South Bay Native
16,226 posts, read 27,315,402 times
Reputation: 31487
Quote:
Originally Posted by femaleslayer View Post
I never said I was struggling to get a job. I said I could never work a job that wasn't easy. I also said I have money and don't need one. The only reason I have worked in the past was because I thought it would help me get girls. It didn't, so why work?

How do I have money?? The same way all rich kids do, inheritance. Completely useless when you can't get girls though since money doesn't create happiness, love does.
No one 'gets' a girl. That's your entitlement speaking. We could develop a drinking game based on each occurrence of 'I', 'me' and 'my' that you type each time you post.

That you think you 'get' a human being, like someone gets gas for their car, or a Christmas present from their parents is maladaptive thinking.

Does your mom know what you do all day? You need help.
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Old 05-17-2016, 02:01 PM
 
32 posts, read 36,430 times
Reputation: 45
Quote:
Originally Posted by Book Lover 21 View Post
Here is an excerpt from the best advise I ever read. I read it a couple of times a year as a reminder:


6 Harsh Truths That Will Make You a Better Person | Cracked.com
....It's always "How can I get a job?" and not "How can I become the type of person employers want?" It's "How can I get pretty girls to like me?" instead of "How can I become the type of person that pretty girls like?" See, because that second one could very well require giving up many of your favorite hobbies and paying more attention to your appearance, and God knows what else. You might even have to change your personality.
"But why can't I find someone who just likes me for me?" you ask. The answer is because humans need things. The victim is bleeding, and all you can do is look down and complain that there aren't more gunshot wounds that just fix themselves?
Everytime I see someone link that God awful post I cringe. I mean, look at what you quoted: you are worthless and unlovable unless you fit a particular mold. Your personality and interests are bad and you must demolish them, subjugate all your values and Self into the service of others.

A better person, or an utterly empty and unfulfilled person?
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Old 05-17-2016, 02:14 PM
 
Location: 🇬🇧 In jolly old London! 🇬🇧
15,675 posts, read 11,472,487 times
Reputation: 12547
Quote:
Originally Posted by femaleslayer View Post
Look I'm no Brad Pitt, but I am pretty damn cute, objectively. I'd say I'm 7/10. I'm not going to turn heads, but I'd definitely make a girl uneasy if I had my shirt off. I have money, so it's not that. I drive a Maserati and live in an upscale neighborhood in orange county. I'm not a billionaire, but I get by. The only thing I don't have is social skills (crippling social anxiety) and I'm passive. Women want an aggressor with social skills. Looks and money seem completely worthless if you're shy. It's so unfair. I see ugly poor men with girls because they have social skills. It seems like no amount of positive qualities can overcome being a shy male. I'm 22 and am graduating college dateless. I feel like I'm less than nothing because of my failure with the opposite sex.
Ohhhh so youve got all that about you but you don't know how to talk to women?

Oh dear what bad luck!!!! LMAO!

First thing lose the sense of entitlement and you might get somewhere

Ps femaleslayer??? How? LOL
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Old 05-17-2016, 02:15 PM
 
3,393 posts, read 3,999,487 times
Reputation: 9310
Quote:
Originally Posted by kittenpanzer View Post
Everytime I see someone link that God awful post I cringe. I mean, look at what you quoted: you are worthless and unlovable unless you fit a particular mold. Your personality and interests are bad and you must demolish them, subjugate all your values and Self into the service of others.

A better person, or an utterly empty and unfulfilled person?


Based on your post history, I could have predicted your response.




I seriously hope you rethink your outlook. Your User Name shows someone with a great sense of humor and a lot of potential. You should look in the mirror and try to figure out exactly what you are clinging to.


And I don't think one has to fit a "particular mold". I'm not particularly attractive, but I bring a lot to a relationship.
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Old 05-17-2016, 02:34 PM
 
32 posts, read 36,430 times
Reputation: 45
I don't want to derail too much, so I'll keep this brief.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Book Lover 21 View Post
Based on your post history, I could have predicted your response.
That obvious, huh?


Quote:
I seriously hope you rethink your outlook. Your User Name shows someone with a great sense of humor and a lot of potential. You should look in the mirror and try to figure out exactly what you are clinging to.
What outlook? That a person is worth more than just their actions or skills (a person certainly is NOT their job)? That it's much more rewarding to be authentic as much as possible than to totally deny oneself in order to be "useful"? That being

Because that's what I get from the article. You can be authentic or you can be loved, but you can't be both. You can please your self or others, but not both. If people only want things from me, I might be better off without them. If the world only ever cares about what I produce or what it can get from me, maybe isolation is more gratifying.

If I'm clinging to anything, it's self-integrity. How so many people find that article motivating is baffling to me.


Quote:
And I don't think one has to fit a "particular mold". I'm not particularly attractive, but I bring a lot to a relationship.
I meant in terms of personality. The quote literally says you might need to give up your favorite interests and change your personality to be useful to the world and lovable to others. I question whether that's worth it. The quote adds that no, you cannot go and find people who like you for you, you must fit a mold to be liked. You must be useful - you as a person do not matter.
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Old 05-17-2016, 02:52 PM
 
3,393 posts, read 3,999,487 times
Reputation: 9310
Quote:
Originally Posted by kittenpanzer View Post
You can please your self or others, but not both. If people only want things from me, I might be better off without them. If the world only ever cares about what I produce or what it can get from me, maybe isolation is more gratifying.




I think a lot of people in your generation have this outlook. I think that is what is behind the Hikikomori phenomenon. And hey, if that's what makes you happy, whatever.


Are you happy?


Because you don't seem like it. If you are happy with yourself EXACTLY as you are today and you stubbornly insist on not changing anything (because that would be inauthentic), then I guess that's fine. Your own self-love is paramount, like you said.


But I have difficulty believing that anyone is completely happy with themselves exactly the way they are. I'm always working on improving my health, my attitude, my skills (it's a long road lol). The by-product to all of this work is that I'm more attractive and interesting.


Read the article again. But every time he references other people, insert your own self-image. Heck, I haven't been working on self-improvement in an effort to get laid. I've been married for 18 years. I do it for ME.

I honestly care about you kitten. You remind me of my own son.
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Old 05-17-2016, 03:39 PM
 
Location: Austin, TX
1,351 posts, read 1,592,847 times
Reputation: 2957
(General comment not really directed at anyone...)

It is not necessary to be "masterful" in the social skills department in order to be attractive to others. I'd say less than 5% of people have outstanding social skills. And many of that 5% are probably naturally gifted at it.

Everyone has their awkward social moments. Including famous actors, athletes, lawyers, CEOs, etc.

You just should be competent socially. For instance, holding a basic conversation (whether it's serious, funny, whatever), being able to banter a little bit, recognizing humor (and dishing it out), reading between the lines, a basic grasp of body language, and so on. These are all things that many high school kids can do.

Social anxiety is a different animal, rooted in fear and caring too much about what others think. It doesn't necessarily indicate a lack of skill or an inability to learn the ropes socially.

I think the OP's real problem is that he dislikes himself. And yeah, his arrogance is an issue too (arrogance is a sign of insecurity).
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Old 05-18-2016, 02:14 AM
 
641 posts, read 404,186 times
Reputation: 795
Quote:
Originally Posted by femaleslayer View Post
Look I'm no Brad Pitt, but I am pretty damn cute, objectively. I'd say I'm 7/10. I'm not going to turn heads, but I'd definitely make a girl uneasy if I had my shirt off. I have money, so it's not that. I drive a Maserati and live in an upscale neighborhood in orange county. I'm not a billionaire, but I get by. The only thing I don't have is social skills (crippling social anxiety) and I'm passive. Women want an aggressor with social skills. Looks and money seem completely worthless if you're shy. It's so unfair. I see ugly poor men with girls because they have social skills. It seems like no amount of positive qualities can overcome being a shy male. I'm 22 and am graduating college dateless. I feel like I'm less than nothing because of my failure with the opposite sex.
It gets no easier if you're shy. You've got no chance with girls.

Shy girls with decent looks are deemed as cute. Shy men are deemed as losers.

Looks don't make the difference with girls. Money will get you a gold digger. You need to be charismatic and/or confident. That's why a loud jerk will always do better with women than a quiet or shy introvert.
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Old 05-18-2016, 02:35 AM
 
Location: SacTown
1,259 posts, read 1,246,381 times
Reputation: 1965
Quote:
Originally Posted by gazzaa2 View Post
It gets no easier if you're shy. You've got no chance with girls.

Shy girls with decent looks are deemed as cute. Shy men are deemed as losers.

Looks don't make the difference with girls. Money will get you a gold digger. You need to be charismatic and/or confident. That's why a loud jerk will always do better with women than a quiet or shy introvert.
Men can't be shy if they want a chance at dating.
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