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Coincidentally, that's what women say about the pool of single men. I wonder if it's true or if people define quality so narrowly that, wa la, no one meets the definition? Even speaking of people as "quality" sounds kind of retail or livestockish.
Women in the US are pickier than men because the culture, demographics, and statistics favor single women. Most guys just want someone they're reasonably physically attracted to and fun to be with. Women have a much longer checklist of requirements and that's why a lot of the threads such as the ones claiming that successful women can't find men, are people pointing out that the women are probably being way too picky. With men if we're accused of being too picky it's usually because of the looks issue, with women it's always more than that and/or a lot more complex/deeper. She may be picky when it comes to looks, but on top of that, she's also picky when it comes to height, income, and job title. See what I mean?
Last edited by wanderlust76; 05-18-2016 at 05:49 PM..
Desirable people are usually taken, or, at the very least, they have plenty of potential mates from which to choose. If you are looking for those types, it makes sense that they are less available.
Like someone else said, lowering your standards could help.
Dating isn't easy. People who are in relationships have had to put some real effort into it. Luck can be factored into it as well.
This as well as the fact not a lot of people dating others are ACTUALLY interested in others.
They are interested in what appeals to themselves and what they will out of the arrangement while ignoring every other aspect of relationships and relating to others. Which leads to a chain smoking affect.
I think we have all heard the term "quality not quantity" this applies both forwards and backwards depending on why you are dating and what you are looking to get from doing so.
If you are single it doesn't mean there is anything wrong with you.It could mean they won't settle for jerks, rudeness, cheap, bossy,lazy, etc men or women.
Here is my question: How are so many people *constantly* dating other people, and what am I doing wrong?
I’m a 30 year old guy, not ugly, not gorgeous. Normal in almost every way. I can hold a great conversation and I can be charming and funny when I need to.
Although I’m an introvert and often need time to myself, I still manage to go out and do things 2-3 times per week. Let’s say that each time I go out and do something with friends, I might meet one new person that I’ll actually chat with while I’m out and about, right? That’s not a bad number, if we run into a friend’s friend and they introduce me.
So that’s meeting and casually chatting with 8-12 new people per month. That’s good, right? So the problem is, half of them are guys, so. Of the 4-5 women I might meet, seems like about 75 percent are either dating someone or married. So let’s say, if I’m lucky, I meet one new girl a month that’s single and close enough to my age to “date.” How often am I going to:
a.) Find this girl physically attractive
b.) Discover a real connection with this girl
c.) AND she feels the same way about me
The odds of all three of those falling into line are tough. A lot of times this other person is just not compatible with you, you find them boring or you’re not attracted to them. Just be real, that’s how it is sometimes. I’m not going to start seriously dating a girl I don’t find attractive, or who just annoys me right off the bat. I’m not saying everyone is like this, of course. I’m not picky. But if one in three girls, I’m not attracted to, and one in three girls our personalities just don’t match up, that leaves one girl every three months that I would actually consider dating.
So I’m afraid I just don’t understand. It seems like everyone is always dating someone. As soon as one relationship ends, both of those people jump right into another relationship, and seem like they are truly in love with this new person. How in the hell does this happen so fast and effortlessly? Where are these people finding all these other people? How are they coming across and meeting so many people that they can immediately find someone on a whim that they can start a serious relationship with? Are they just faking how they feel about these people or are they literally just finding one compatible, attractive person after another?
There’s obviously something I’m completely missing the ball on. Can you all please share some insights with me as to what I’m missing when it comes to dating and relationships?
How does it happen like that? It doesn't. Not for most people. Most people have to do a lot of weeding and sifting, even if they do meet people interested in getting to know them. And a lot of people don't "click" with someone, except once in a blue moon. We had a thread here once asking the women how often they get into relationships, and most answered that they'd have one, and if it didn't pan out, it would be years before they got into another one. That was typical, they said: multi-year dry spells.
So I think you're imagining some of this flurry of activity. Maybe some of your friends do a quick turn-around, but most people don't. I think a lot of people, both men and women, have a hard time catching the attention of anyone at all. And yeah; finding mutual interest is the Holy Grail, and it's not easy.
So don't let your imagination run away with you. You're beating yourself up with mostly imaginary scenarios.
Also, OP, you can meet more people by joining a group, club, activity group, whatever. It's low-key, and you get to enjoy a hobby or sport or whatever it is in the meantime, as you chat and get to know people.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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Quote:
Originally Posted by wanderlust76
Women in the US are pickier than men because the culture, demographics, and statistics favor single women. Most guys just want someone they're reasonably physically attracted to and fun to be with. Women have a much longer checklist of requirements and that's why a lot of the threads such as the ones claiming that successful women can't find men, are people pointing out that the women are probably being way too picky. With men if we're accused of being too picky it's usually because of the looks issue, with women it's always more than that and/or a lot more complex/deeper. She may be picky when it comes to looks, but on top of that, she's also picky when it comes to height, income, and job title. See what I mean?
Not buying it. Most every single guy I know wants to be IN LOVE with the person they're partnered with.
It isn't about lists with any single person I know, male or female, it is about connection, chemistry, and emotions.
Not buying it. Most every single guy I know wants to be IN LOVE with the person they're partnered with.
It isn't about lists with any single person I know, male or female, it is about connection, chemistry, and emotions.
Yeah not buying it either. Looks and fun is all that's required? No way! IF that is true, I would argue that they aren't picky enough... I need a real connection and would hope that a partner looks for the same
If you are single it doesn't mean there is anything wrong with you.It could mean they won't settle for jerks, rudeness, cheap, bossy,lazy, etc men or women.
Tried to rep you...well you know the drill. But I agree 110% with this. Especially as we get older. Men and women look for people who are actually good people and can take of their business and can develop a connection with.
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