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Old 05-21-2016, 07:30 PM
 
2 posts, read 1,990 times
Reputation: 18

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Lmao...seriously? I cannot believe you are even asking...do you not cultivate a garden of common sense? You already know the answer...stop asking or rather looking for advice you already know...silly question...disconnect

 
Old 05-21-2016, 07:34 PM
 
Location: 🇬🇧 In jolly old London! 🇬🇧
15,675 posts, read 11,467,828 times
Reputation: 12547
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dolleemag View Post
Lmao...seriously? I cannot believe you are even asking...do you not cultivate a garden of common sense? You already know the answer...stop asking or rather looking for advice you already know...silly question...disconnect
" cultivate a garden of common sense "........

( like that one )
 
Old 05-21-2016, 10:46 PM
 
Location: Texas
774 posts, read 1,161,010 times
Reputation: 910
Consider this a lesson in growing up. This man owes you NOTHING. Not closure, not an apology, not a phone call, not an explanation. NOTHING. Is he acting like a jerk? Yes. But then, he was a jerk from the beginning. Is he a liar? Yes. Is he a scumbag for lying to you about being single? Yes. But he is MARRIED, and not to you. Therefore, he owes you nothing.

Learn from this life lesson.
 
Old 05-22-2016, 12:21 AM
 
Location: Europe
2,729 posts, read 2,685,832 times
Reputation: 4210
Quote:
Originally Posted by SloRoller View Post
Consider this a lesson in growing up. This man owes you NOTHING. Not closure, not an apology, not a phone call, not an explanation. NOTHING. Is he acting like a jerk? Yes. But then, he was a jerk from the beginning. Is he a liar? Yes. Is he a scumbag for lying to you about being single? Yes. But he is MARRIED, and not to you. Therefore, he owes you nothing.

Learn from this life lesson.

lol, lesson from you to let a guy get away from his wrong doings....
 
Old 05-22-2016, 12:48 AM
 
Location: Ohio
5,624 posts, read 6,810,008 times
Reputation: 6802
You somehow deserve more than his wife??? She deserves the truth way more than you. This hurts her and their children way more than you.

Stop being selfish, you were HELPING him cheat on his wife!
 
Old 05-22-2016, 09:45 AM
 
Location: Subconscious Syncope, USA (Northeastern US)
2,365 posts, read 2,136,111 times
Reputation: 3814
Quote:
Originally Posted by soUlwounD View Post
lol, lesson from you to let a guy get away from his wrong doings....
It's the best way to go in this circumstance. He didn't wrong anyone but his wife, and how could she not know he cheats?

Maybe they are staying together for the sake of the kids, and she will not be receptive to listening to the complaints of someone he cheated with.

Who knows? The best thing the OP can do is get on with her life.

@OP, You have closure. You called him out on being married, and he did the only thing he could - he cut ties with you. Wanting more than that can lead you down a path of violence, jail and/or death depending on how much more 'closure' you feel you need. What do you need all this drama for?

You are responsible for your DUI. He wasn't there holding the drinks for you. Don't drink when you know you are too emotional to handle letting go of your inhibitions, and don't know your limit. Don't drive or operate heavy machinery when you have been drinking.

Move on. Life is too short to waste like this.

Last edited by ConeyGirl52; 05-22-2016 at 09:53 AM..
 
Old 05-22-2016, 04:47 PM
 
Location: Viña del Mar, Chile
16,393 posts, read 30,834,700 times
Reputation: 16642
Quote:
Originally Posted by janet16 View Post
I'm a 33 year old female. This is the first time I'm posting something here seeking suggestions & advice . I really need them right now please.

So, like 2 years ago I met a guy online. I'm a 33 year old , independent girl in Technology field in DC , looking for a relationship . I met a guy online in 2014 . We both exchanged numbers, company information & etc. He is a CEO of a defense consulting firm in DC & not to mention he is a millionaire . The reason I mention this is b/c he did not hide his company information in DC, his desk office phone & soon we both started texting / emailing to his work email & work number directly. That gave me a lot of trust & confidence that he is not playing around & etc.I have informed him I have no kids, never married & looking for a relation & not games. He mentioned he is in the similar boat, never married & no kids whatsoever.

Within a week he asked me out but it was me, I was a bit travelling for work on a off & also wanted to first text & talk few times over phone , get to know him & then go on a date in person. So, I kinda gave a rain check a couple of times & soon I had to relocate to Chicago for work ( temporary assignment for a year). When I left to IL , I did not even make a point to text him since I was busy myself relocating. He soon texted me again within two weeks gap but surprisingly since even though I relocated he continued to communicate, call me, text me long distance. He would check on me almost every week if I didn't call him or text him. I was really surprised & loved all the attention he was giving me. He continued to live in DC & I continued to live in IL . He again asked me out like three to four times in a year but it never worked out. I'm the one to blame not him. I was exploring having fun in Chicago that I didn't bother much to make actual plans. One day I have asked him if I can add him on FB. He indicated he has deleted FB years ago after starting to work for Pentagon since he has a Security Clearance & etc, so he avoids social networking altogether.

I felt it made sense & never kind of suspected him since I would directly text to his cell or office or personal email etc. We both never bothered to even exchange home phone numbers. But he would show me all the interest, telling me how beautiful I am, (He would ask me my pictures every weekend when I get ready & go out). telling me how amazing I am & that he is falling in love with me & can't wait to see me. He would never ignore my texts & no matter where he is around the world travelling he would always respond ( though delayed by a day or two sometimes).


He would text me without fail on all important occasions like Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas without fail. I meant, like Thanksgiving is a special day we spend with our family. For a guy I haven't even met I would not waste my time texting to him but he would take time on these special days & would wish me to make sure I had happy holidays.


This continued until last week. Last Sunday, I was on my computer & kind felt like doing a background check on him. ( Not even sure why but perhaps god made me have this feeling) . I sat in front of my laptop & used few sites googling his first name, last name , company information etc. Surprisingly, I found out that he is infact 'married' man with a wife & two kinds living in the suburban DC in a 3 million dollar mansion. He is not 34 ( as he claimed), the site claimed he is 44.

The site also pointed me to few pictures posted by his wife on few social networking sites.


My heart just broke. I was in denial the entire day, Not sure how to ask or approach him with the evidence I found, I was debating the entire day. That evening, I went out with friends, out of sorrow I had alcohol & got into a DUI. ( My first DUI ever in life)

That was how much I was heartbroken. The next morning, I build up all the courage & texted him with all the evidence I found asking him why he had to lie to me like this. The texts were very long & detailed.


I have informed him of how heartbroken I was that I found out he is married with kids. & that I started to love him, he was already close to my heart though we never met & I have not expected all this lies from him. I told him how unsettling it has been that I myself got in trouble with the law for drunk driving. I told him I have been weeping for days & it has been very upsetting me since I liked him so much & never expected this behavior from him. I have informed him I wanted to date him after we meet in person but he lied to me & how broken my heart is, how devastated it has been with the fact that he lied his age, his marital status , lied about his kids & etc.


The guy never responded to my long texts - why?

I waited for a day, two days, called him, it went to VM , wrote him emails but he never bothered to even respond, apologize & say sorry for breaking my heart.



why did he not give me closure. why did he not apologise or confess? Did he plead his fifth? was he afraid if he apologizes, it would be an indirect confession & I could take him to court & seek his money? ( He is a millionaire & I am not)

I pleaded him to respond, reply, give me a reason as to why he did it but he totally ignored my texts


why? - Did he not care for my feelings? - A guy who would 'take time' to text m on Thanksgiving, Halloween, Valentines day, Christmas day, NYE , who cared for my feelings so much, has suddenly disappeared when I confronted him with evidence??


was he really afraid I might approach his wife ? did he not care for my feelings?

did he not love me whatsoever nor cared for my feelings?

I loved him equally & he was close to my heart. We both wanted to date each other soon after I moved back to DC & wanted to go on dates..Please help me ..why did he lie to me in the first place - was he afraid he would lose me had he disclosed we was married ..2 years is a long time for us to text back & forth, we had the connection developed..it's so painful..please tell me what would he have thought about not disclosing he is married..


especially guys, I want to understand what was he thinking all this while & why did he not respond me & give me a closure!! Please help!!!!

You don't deserve anything.

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