Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I'm not shy but I just don't think most women want bothered so I don't even bother looking for women when I'm at a store or something anymore. Even though single men are always told these are the places we should look, in practice it doesn't really work in our culture.
I always say our culture because I have deduced dating isn't normal in the US anymore for a guy over 35.
I certainly do not follow them around the store like a creeper... lol get a grip what is wrong with some people? Some women would probably punch them in the face.
I see this alot where I live. This one time I was at the market and this cute girl smiled at me with her grumpy boyfriend walking behind her OR so I thought.
So I see them around the store and he keeps dogging me so I don't look at his GF. I pay for my stuff and leave. I'm in my car and she is leaving the store and smiles at me again but she is leaving alone.
The guy who I thought was her bf comes out of the store and just walks away like nothing. He was just following her around the store the whole time.
Just remember, that every person that **** talks shy guys are asshats themselves. They might find women to date, hell even marry, but they're pieces of trash themselves. They just found someone willing to put up with there garbage.
That's true lmao. To talk bad about shy people as if they have committed a murder colors you as an ass. These same people would get mad if you told them they talked too much or they're overbearing.
I see this alot where I live. This one time I was at the market and this cute girl smiled at me with her grumpy boyfriend walking behind her OR so I thought.
So I see them around the store and he keeps dogging me so I don't look at his GF. I pay for my stuff and leave. I'm in my car and she is leaving the store and smiles at me again but she is leaving alone.
The guy who I thought was her bf comes out of the store and just walks away like nothing. He was just following her around the store the whole time.
Oh my god that story sums up my dating life it's exactly something that would happen to me. It's like you were unintentionally **** blocked.
If we're not talking about middle school here, who stands and points and jeers at guys for being shy?
I don't think I've EVER seen such a thing as an adult. Nor been in the middle of a B-word session jeering among my friends about a shy man or anything like that.
Who really does this? Is this just a perception? Or do you have real examples...? Because I'm kind of flabbergasted.
Hell I've had both men and women trash talk me about being "Shy". If you want specific examples of middle or high school, that's going to be difficult because it's been something like 15-16 years since I've walked those hall ways. It did happen. I get short flashbacks being at a football game and there being a particular girl on the other side of a fence pointing right at me with the rest of her friends saying "he likes me!" and laughing and pointing and other crap. I still found a few women to date in that small school, and a few of the neighboring schools, but still, there are some things you just don't totally forget.
A more recent one? Sure, that's a little easier. I work with 2 other guys every day who are married. Eventually the question comes up "Do you have someone in your life?" a little more vulgar of course, and then the other question that comes with it "When was the last time you dated or had sex?" more vulgar obviously, I'm working with rough people. I haven't dated in over 6 years at this point, through a combination of several factors. So, from here, it becomes "Are you gay?" or "Are you retarded?" and my favorite from them "When I was single, I ALWAYS had different women in my bed! You gotta have problems!"
That's about as PG as I can make this post. They said worse, and it kept going throughout the day or longer sometimes. It's happened more than once because I'm periodically asked, so sometimes they are worded differently.
I think I've pursued 2 different women in the past 6 years. Both were terrible duds for me. I got **** for pursuing only 2 women too. Society sucks.
It's a difficult state of mind. Shy/socially anxious guys know they won't be hit on but they can't find it in them to approach themselves, so they're at a permanent impasse. Obviously they wish women would approach but generally speaking that's not going to happen, although now and again it might.
There's no excuse for stalking or following women around and it's creepy. There can be instances when you're close and next to a woman and you're wanting to approach and break the ice but the shyness is crippling.
This is where shy men and women have it differently because the average shy girl is still likely to be approached at times by men and have options that way. Also shy women, particularly more attractive ones, can be deemed as cute or sweet, whereas shy men to get the loser/weird/creep/loner tag. Shy women may get labelled as stuck up.
I think it stems from the perception that it's great for the traditional female who "gets" to wait until a guy picks her out of a lineup, suggests they hangout out on a "go-Dutch" coffee date and then waits interminably for some follow-up communication that probably will never come. Well, maybe a few months later as he circles back with some of his "rejects". It's a great life....
I think it stems from the perception that it's great for the traditional female who "gets" to wait until a guy picks her out of a lineup, suggests they hangout out on a "go-Dutch" coffee date and then waits interminably for some follow-up communication that probably will never come. Well, maybe a few months later as he circles back with some of his "rejects". It's a great life....
A lot of women seem to like this they don't have to do anything because the men always come.
It's a difficult state of mind. Shy/socially anxious guys know they won't be hit on but they can't find it in them to approach themselves, so they're at a permanent impasse. Obviously they wish women would approach but generally speaking that's not going to happen, although now and again it might.
There's no excuse for stalking or following women around and it's creepy. There can be instances when you're close and next to a woman and you're wanting to approach and break the ice but the shyness is crippling.
This is where shy men and women have it differently because the average shy girl is still likely to be approached at times by men and have options that way. Also shy women, particularly more attractive ones, can be deemed as cute or sweet, whereas shy men to get the loser/weird/creep/loner tag. Shy women may get labelled as stuck up.
Quote:
Originally Posted by reneeh63
I think it stems from the perception that it's great for the traditional female who "gets" to wait until a guy picks her out of a lineup, suggests they hangout out on a "go-Dutch" coffee date and then waits interminably for some follow-up communication that probably will never come. Well, maybe a few months later as he circles back with some of his "rejects". It's a great life....
This is one reason I don't think dating in the US is normal for a guy. Women are conditioned in the US due to a large pool of single men that are overly aggressive. Women basically don't think they have to do anything because a guy being overly aggressive, is considered normal. The guys following the women around in a store, think they are doing what they are supposed to do, to catch a woman. This is the honest truth.
It's not their fault it's just how they have been trained over the years, it's totally subconscious. So if you're a normal guy that approaches in a normal way, you get overlooked, or the guy will not receive the signals he needs to approach.
Some women assume if a guy is interested in her she can stare at the floor and frown and the men will still come to her, and in some cases they will. Guess which type of guys do that? The type that follow women around a store. See what I mean?
Quote:
Originally Posted by 49ersfan27
A lot of women seem to like this they don't have to do anything because the men always come.
100 pct correct...it's a learned behavior though they weren't like that when they were young. It's how they were conditioned over time after they started dating and talking to boys.
I have hung out in neighborhoods with a lot of single men, especially IT workers, and I have picked up on a trend. These guys will typically follow you in Whole Foods, Target - where ever you are - and either stare at you (if they are brave) or just stand within close proximity to you, AND SAY NOTHING. They are hoping that you will initiate conversation or something.
Anyone else noticing this?
I can't see how this tactic is successful, because most women today still don't have the guts to hit on men.
I think all a lady has to do really is make eye contact, smile, and flirt a bit. Let the guy know there is a decent chance he will not get rejected if he takes the initiative.
I think most guys know they are expected to make a move, but for whatever reasons lack the courage. Men don't like rejection. It hurts the confidence.
So if a woman likes a man all they have to show that they are interested in him approaching.
It's easy to give examples of what not to do..
For example if you at the gym, and would like a guy to initiate conversation with you, than take out the headphones. lol
Also if you with a group of ladies going out, break free from the group so men have an opportunity to talk to you.
If you're at the grocery store and a guy you like is obviously showing they like you, ask their advise about something. How to pick out cantaloupe or whatever.
It's really VERY easy for a woman to initiate without actually initiating.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
