Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
It doesn't really matter anyway, I was just looking to see what other people had experienced. No, I don't think it was meant for someone else, in the year of dating and the 3 months since, I've never gotten an oops from him, and I had recommended the show to him. I just thought it weird he text that but nothing else, it didn't lead to anything else. That was Saturday afternoon, haven't heard since.
For reference, he broke up with me out the blue, caught me totally off guard. His only reason being he didn't feel the way he thought he should feel when he thought about "taking it to the next level". He said he still wanted me in his life &'wanted to be friends, I made it clear that was not an option. You don't pull that crap and think you can be just friends after a year together & after talking about moving in together this sumemer! We weren't friends before, we met on a dating site.
Well, he obviously misses you. I'm in the same position you're in right now, although I didn't say friends wasn't an option because I thought it was. But it's hard. Sounds like a good idea for you to block his number.
It doesn't really matter anyway, I was just looking to see what other people had experienced. No, I don't think it was meant for someone else, in the year of dating and the 3 months since, I've never gotten an oops from him, and I had recommended the show to him. I just thought it weird he text that but nothing else, it didn't lead to anything else. That was Saturday afternoon, haven't heard since.
For reference, he broke up with me out the blue, caught me totally off guard. His only reason being he didn't feel the way he thought he should feel when he thought about "taking it to the next level". He said he still wanted me in his life &'wanted to be friends, I made it clear that was not an option. You don't pull that crap and think you can be just friends after a year together & after talking about moving in together this sumemer! We weren't friends before, we met on a dating site.
Translation: "I met somebody cute, but I don't know for sure that she's going to return my feelings, so I'd like to keep you on deck."
Why wonder and torture yourself? Go on with your life and if he texts you again, accidental or not, don't bother yourself to answer.
I won't lie and say I don't still have feelings for him because I do. If I didn't, I would have deleted the text and not started a post here. That does not mean I want to get back together, LOTS of things would have happen before that would be a possibility. I'm just frustrated that here I am, finally getting on with my life and BAM there he is again. Surely he can't think I've changed my mind and want to be "friends" with him?!
I won't lie and say I don't still have feelings for him because I do. If I didn't, I would have deleted the text and not started a post here. That does not mean I want to get back together, LOTS of things would have happen before that would be a possibility. I'm just frustrated that here I am, finally getting on with my life and BAM there he is again. Surely he can't think I've changed my mind and want to be "friends" with him?!
I bet he thinks exactly that. Maybe when you start dating someone new you'll be more open to it. I have a feeling that will do the trick for me.
And I got another one today, exactly a week later. Just asking me if I'm getting in some pool time. I replied not yet, and he hasn't texted back after that.
Yes I KNOW I should block his number/not reply, but there is still part of me that thinks we will get back together. Ugh!
And I got another one today, exactly a week later. Just asking me if I'm getting in some pool time. I replied not yet, and he hasn't texted back after that.
Yes I KNOW I should block his number/not reply, but there is still part of me that thinks we will get back together. Ugh!
At this point I think it's pretty clear that it's not all accidental.
I don't know, you did fine. You don't HAVE to stop responding, I just personally felt it would be better for you and your own feelings.
But if you must respond, casual and short probably are best, so your answer seems fine to me.
Don't hang your star on getting back together, though. Please just don't. Not unless he approaches on one knee specifically asking to be dating and exclusive, and even then I wouldn't fully trust it, myself. I'm just not getting the feeling that he feels as strongly for you as you do for him and I'm 100% sure he knows it which means that if need be, he'll eventually use that fact on some random lonely night or other ("nice guy" or not) and then your hear will be in shattered pieces flying everywhere.
He's not invested in you. Pull back and stay pulled back.
And FWIW...you told him you wouldn't be just friends, and he is slowly but surely proving that you don't have conviction and that he can work you around and get you to go back on your word the instant he beckons. How? By being a buddy - casually texting - and you complying, without so much as a "boo." He's thinking less of you, not more because now he feels you're full of it. I don't want to be mean but this is how it appears to me. Make your own decisions but your actions aren't making him more likely to come back, IMO, but rather, the opposite. I hope I don't sound out of line but I've seen this before.
If it were ME (this is just me!) I would be stating flatly, "Glad all is well but we agreed we wouldn't be 'just friends,' so please respect that. Take care."
I agree with much of this.^^ Along with the fact that he was so meh in the beginning, and somewhere along the line made it clear he seems himself living alone long-term (or did I get that wrong?). He just keeps showing that he's not all-in, and you deserve someone who is.
Assuming the text wasn't meant for someone else I would say he was feeling you out as potential future backup, or was warming up to that.
Why is it always three months? I had the three-month check-in (or thereabouts) so many times and no, I never took the bait and yes, it always ended in the guy asking to meet up just once more, then pulling the moves. N to the O. You have two hands, EX-boyfriend. Hint: one of them is for the mouse.
I think they realize they can't get laid willy nilly in an orgy of freedom and joy like they thought they would by "being single again" so they come sniffing back around they last alleyway where they did get some.
I wouldn't walk on eggshells carrrrrrrefully matching his ha-ha, whaszup casualness if he approached randomly again about something UTTERLY, IRREDEEMABLY stupid. I'd ask, "Why are you contacting me?" Cuts right through the games because he assumed you'd play along and allow him to playact the standard formula - re-break the ice, start texting again...for like a week, meet up just as friends, mind you, he breaks down and cries admitting how much he missed you, you put out, he suddenly gets incredibly busy with work or something else you know he's not incredibly busy with, he still can't get laid out in the real world or else his new girlfriend dumps him, he re-breaks the ice with you except this time with little traps about how that sex was never planned plus you hadn't agreed to start over or anything, you meet up, just as friends, mind you...lather, rinse, repeat.
If he whined "But you agreed to be friends!" I'd say, "My actual friends check in to find out whether I'm dead or alive more than once a season. I don't value this type of friendship so I'm pulling out. Please move on and stop texting me."
If you never took the bait you don't know what the guy really wanted(although it sounds like you too it a few times). I agree a lot of the time the guy may just want another roll in the hay, but sometimes if you were actually fun to be around they may just want to be friends and they just needed some time away.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
