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Old 05-26-2016, 07:16 PM
 
3 posts, read 3,674 times
Reputation: 15

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I have been married to my wife for 13 years and our marriage has been pretty good, no affairs or anything. However I have noticed she can get upset if I am involved with anything dealing with other women, even if it's completely innocent.

Recently I got a new secretary and my wife came by while I was away for a few minutes. She calls me and starts telling me my new secretary was mean and rude to her and even cussed at her. After I got home she told me she doesn't want that girl working anymore. I tried to explain she has always been real nice and is a single mom with a kid also taking college classes and I could never see her doing a something like that.

But she didn't care and keeps insisting I fire her.

I talked to her (the secretary) about it and she said she was polite and respectful but my wife had a snoody attitude with her.

What should I do? Now when I come home from work my wife asks if I have gotten rid of her yet.
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Old 05-26-2016, 07:19 PM
 
Location: South Bay Native
16,226 posts, read 27,312,787 times
Reputation: 31487
Yes.
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Old 05-26-2016, 07:25 PM
 
Location: Scottsdale, AZ
16,961 posts, read 17,258,316 times
Reputation: 30254
Your secretary should know better, and your wife, too.

You have two immature women. Deal with them, accordingly.

Last edited by hawaiiancoconut; 05-26-2016 at 08:00 PM..
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Old 05-26-2016, 07:30 PM
 
3 posts, read 3,674 times
Reputation: 15
Quote:
Originally Posted by DontH8Me View Post
Yes.
Huh? I mean this girl is nice and I honestly don't think she acted the way she did to my wife. Should I take my wife's word for it and fire her anyway?
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Old 05-26-2016, 07:35 PM
 
Location: NNJ
15,045 posts, read 10,010,139 times
Reputation: 17194
If it was my secretary at work, then it is my business to run and my decision to be made. If my wife were reacting that way, I would need to know the root cause as to why she has it out for this woman and get to the real truth. I would have to sit her down, talk it out and follow up on it. Only then can I make a decision on whether or not to fire her.

Is this a family business and your wife is also an employee?
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Old 05-26-2016, 07:41 PM
 
3,423 posts, read 3,320,062 times
Reputation: 6156
No.
Get your secretary's version of events, then your wife's story. Then come up with a solution. If you fire her, and she happens to be innocent, she could probably sue you for wrongful termination, slanderous accusations and libel. And being that it's hearsay - that you weren't there to see it - you have no idea what really went down!
I'd get both together, were it ME, and have a sit down, hash out the problem before taking any further action.
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Old 05-26-2016, 07:42 PM
 
3 posts, read 3,674 times
Reputation: 15
Quote:
Originally Posted by usayit View Post
If it was my secretary at work, then it is my business to run and my decision to be made. If my wife were reacting that way, I would need to know the root cause as to why she has it out for this woman and get to the real truth. I would have to sit her down, talk it out and follow up on it. Only then can I make a decision on whether or not to fire her.

Is this a family business and your wife is also an employee?
No, she doesn't work there.
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Old 05-26-2016, 07:44 PM
 
Location: Central IL
20,726 posts, read 16,234,163 times
Reputation: 50368
Does your wife usually come by your workplace? Can you even fire the secretary - do you have the authority? Seems outlandish to me that your secretary would "cuss out" your wife. Wife sounds a little jealous...and she doesn't get to make business decisions. If you cave on this she'll be the one interviewing your next secretary. Tell her to get over herself and that next time you'll just meet her at the restaurant for lunch... no need to come by the office.
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Old 05-26-2016, 07:49 PM
 
Location: 🇬🇧 In jolly old London! 🇬🇧
15,675 posts, read 11,471,303 times
Reputation: 12547
Quote:
Originally Posted by Johntop View Post
I have been married to my wife for 13 years and our marriage has been pretty good, no affairs or anything. However I have noticed she can get upset if I am involved with anything dealing with other women, even if it's completely innocent.

Recently I got a new secretary and my wife came by while I was away for a few minutes. She calls me and starts telling me my new secretary was mean and rude to her and even cussed at her. After I got home she told me she doesn't want that girl working anymore. I tried to explain she has always been real nice and is a single mom with a kid also taking college classes and I could never see her doing a something like that.

But she didn't care and keeps insisting I fire her.

I talked to her (the secretary) about it and she said she was polite and respectful but my wife had a snoody attitude with her.

What should I do? Now when I come home from work my wife asks if I have gotten rid of her yet.
Well do you believe your wife???

If so then yes there's no way I'd let someone be rude to my wife and especially without cause , however if you think she's lying or jealous ( I get the feeling this has happened before or something similar? ) I'd say no and if she's got a problem with it tell her not to come by your work place again.

I know you've said there not been any affairs or anything which is great but is there a reason for her to get upset when you are with other women? Work/platonic etc
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Old 05-26-2016, 07:55 PM
 
9,952 posts, read 6,598,231 times
Reputation: 19655
This just sounds like jealousy to me. If your wife doesn't work in the office or have any relationship to its business dealings, she shouldn't have any say who works there. It just seems like she's automatically going to assume that you're going to go off having some office tryst with any female secretary, particularly if she is a younger secretary. Presumably the secretary is there to do actual work and not be eye candy, so your wife just needs to get over it. You're the one who knows the needs of the business and what skills are needed to do the job effectively. Your wife should have no say whatsoever in who is hired to do that position if she does not work in the business.
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