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I definitely do not think his plan is a good one. I think it's impulsive, and that he thought of it because there are a lot of things in his life changing, and he's been away from New Jersey for over five years, so now that he might not sign another lease with his roommate he doesn't want to get a job in Arizona, since he doesn't like it here.
And I do still want to be with him, because we both agree that we work well together, we share family values and we see a lot of potential in the long-term for our relationship. I know we do care about each other, which is why he and I are trying to make a joint decision about our relationship. We agree on a lot of things, like how 6 months is too soon to move in together, though I feel like him saying he's not sure how he'll feel after another 6 months was him needing some time to process everything changing in his life, and so "I don't know" was just an easier statement to make at midnight. Which I do understand, because he does have a lot more to worry about in all of this than I do.
But again, I've gotten amazing advice on here, and I am not dropping or taking a break from school. We'll see what happens after he graduates in July, but we both will keep discussing things in the meantime, because we both want to make our relationship work.
we both agree that we work well together, we share family values and we see a lot of potential in the long-term for our relationship. I know we do care about each other, which is why he and I are trying to make a joint decision about our relationship.
Keep in mind, the college years is a time of reflection, growth, and change. Often the people are not the same after they matured a bit and graduated. They will find themselves either closer in their chosen paths in life, or not.
I look back, I'm a very different individual.... extremely different....
I wouldn't get too invested... there are many more to come.
He's young. He's not tied down to a marriage with you, or children. He should go back to NJ NOW, while he can, and at least try. If not, he will always regret it. He will regret it forever. And even though technically it will have been his own decision, he will resent you.
You're young. You're not tied down to a marriage with him, and children. You should stay where you are, and finish school. If not, you will resent him when life getsevn tougher and more complicated and THEN you're trying to go back to school.
I most definitely was desperate at the time of writing this, partly because it was at 1AM and I was losing sleep over it, and also because this ball was dropped on us just last night and I didn't know how to cope with it. He and I both slept on our ideas however, and we came up with an agreement that if his plan to get a job in New Jersey even does work out, and it honestly might not, we'll then work on a long-distance relationship until I get my degree, and then make plans.
I definitely agree with you, another 6 months with no guarantee of how we'll feel is not something to solidify plans on. I woke up to a lot of advice though, and I can view the situation with a clearer mind now
You sound like a nice young lady with a brain in her head. Use common sense and trust your instincts.
Homesick for New Jersey? I've never heard this one before. It is very rare.
When I show people pictures of my hometown in northern NJ, their heads are blown. Gigantic centuries old trees, greenness everywhere, adorable town with gazebo and town green, beautiful colonial and Victorian homes, rolling hills within a ten-minute drive, lakes, parks.
I'm not sure how old you are, but many years ago - the 70s - there was a comedian, Gilda Radner, who played a character, one of whose most famous lines was. "You got to get out of New Jersey".
I have family in Princeton and may father was partly raised in New Brunswick. These are nice places (only the rich can afford). My high school history teacher was also a former governor of New Jersey, Tom Keane. So, yes, NJ ain't that bad. Sorry.
I'm not sure how old you are, but many years ago - the 70s - there was a comedian, Gilda Radner, who played a character, one of whose most famous lines was. "You got to get out of New Jersey".
I have family in Princeton and may father was partly raised in New Brunswick. These are nice places (only the rich can afford). My high school history teacher was also a former governor of New Jersey, Tom Keane. So, yes, NJ ain't that bad. Sorry.
I know it is in jest. Jersey has one of those weird reputations... what you see on the outside (TV, media, talk) is fairly different from the rest. Most people invision most of the state is Trenton, Camden, Patterson, Newark like.... tough, mobbed up, etc. You know "the armpit of NY". But when you actually explore the state, you have lots of farms, lakes, wilderness, suburbian family areas, boardwalks along the shore, and riveres to canoe.
One of my friends from my hometown came to visit to see where I ended up when Ieft... he said my immidate area reminded him of some summer places people used to vacation or send their kids to in the summer. He didn't realize that is exactly how my town got started.
Just wish it didn't cost so much to live here.
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