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Old 05-31-2016, 01:58 PM
 
1,242 posts, read 1,683,704 times
Reputation: 3658

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First, if you're feeling depressed there is no shame in getting help. Divorce is extremely stressful and it's easy to get weighed down and feel like nothing will ever be good again.

I'm currently in the process, so take this however you see fit, but I got the glow back a few weeks after I made the decision known. The first few weeks were a roller coaster and there are still ups and downs, but a few months into the process and things are looking up. Even though it's scary, I'm excited for the future. The freedom of being myself and being ok with that has been wonderful. I'm going to share a few things that made a difference and hopefully they help you...

1. Be nice to yourself. Easier said than done, but seriously, how would you treat a friend going through a tough time? Treat yourself that way.

2. Make time for yourself. Get up, spend time getting ready and put effort into making yourself look nice. Carve out time to exercise/relax every day - even if it's only a 30 min walk or bath.

3. Date/ surf dating sites. You don't have to find someone- heck you shouldn't find someone. But surfing dating profiles and filling out your own is a great way to start talking to people and see that there are quality people out there and that you have a whole lot to offer.

4. Do things you want to do, you're single now. Try things you've wanted to try, go places you wanted to go, meet new people. The world is your oyster.
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Old 06-02-2016, 11:53 AM
 
229 posts, read 461,470 times
Reputation: 251
It helps to read so many different stories and hear about so many different experiences. One of my dilemmas is why I seem to no longer be interested in things I used to like when I was married? When I was married I had a nice big house, a large front and backyard, vegetable and flower garden, and lived in kind of a wooded/rural town, about 30-45 minutes from a bigger city. When I got divorced, I moved into a small cottage by the lake, to somehow re-create what I was giving up - being close to the nature, hearing birds and seeing trees, spending time reading on the porch. Although the setting where I am is indeed pretty, I just don't seem to genuinely enjoy it, but rather feel isolated and somewhat depressed. In the back of my mind lingers the idea of maybe moving to a big city, but I never saw myself as a city person, and I wonder, if I moved, would that be another decision that won't bring me as much satisfaction as I expect? I just have a hard time getting excited about anything these days. I wish I could clearly say what exactly would make me happy, but I can't. Wondering if I ever will be.
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Old 06-02-2016, 02:06 PM
 
Location: Copenhagen, Denmark
10,931 posts, read 11,682,389 times
Reputation: 13170
Stop kicking yourself. Why are you preventing yourself from enjoying what used to like? Do you think you deserve all this misery?
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Old 06-02-2016, 06:53 PM
 
Location: Southern Illinois
10,364 posts, read 20,745,291 times
Reputation: 15643
Quote:
Originally Posted by marketa View Post
It helps to read so many different stories and hear about so many different experiences. One of my dilemmas is why I seem to no longer be interested in things I used to like when I was married? When I was married I had a nice big house, a large front and backyard, vegetable and flower garden, and lived in kind of a wooded/rural town, about 30-45 minutes from a bigger city. When I got divorced, I moved into a small cottage by the lake, to somehow re-create what I was giving up - being close to the nature, hearing birds and seeing trees, spending time reading on the porch. Although the setting where I am is indeed pretty, I just don't seem to genuinely enjoy it, but rather feel isolated and somewhat depressed. In the back of my mind lingers the idea of maybe moving to a big city, but I never saw myself as a city person, and I wonder, if I moved, would that be another decision that won't bring me as much satisfaction as I expect? I just have a hard time getting excited about anything these days. I wish I could clearly say what exactly would make me happy, but I can't. Wondering if I ever will be.
In my marriage I enjoyed all of these things too and then I did live in the city and enjoyed it. There is lots more to do in the city and you can join up with groups and still go hiking in the woods when you want to. Yes my tastes changed too and no shame in it. I think a lot of what you're feeling is loneliness and a period of readjustment to your new normal.
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