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Real life gives you a better shot to let someone know your personality and positive traits in person that you might otherwise not have a chance to meet online.
Real life. I very, very rarely get a message back on OLD, from woman that I'd say "I'm above," in this sense. I have a good job, no kids, live on my own, reliable car, etc., and rarely get replies back from even single moms and people with bad jobs.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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Originally Posted by Serious Conversation
Real life. I very, very rarely get a message back on OLD, from woman that I'd say "I'm above," in this sense. I have a good job, no kids, live on my own, reliable car, etc., and rarely get replies back from even single moms and people with bad jobs.
What are you saying? I'm sorry, I see this one here often enough. I've been very active on OKC since things ended with my last woman. I've sent out 9 messages in 2 weeks (which is a ton for me), 7 responded, 2 dates planned. I think more will come. 6 messaged me, of those, 1 date planned with some more potentials. What part am I not understanding. I'm definitely not this 7 or 8 (whatever those look like), I don't earn good money, or live in a nice place... it seems easy to me, what are you sending to people that they don't respond? Are you checking that they're active?
Real life. I very, very rarely get a message back on OLD, from woman that I'd say "I'm above," in this sense. I have a good job, no kids, live on my own, reliable car, etc., and rarely get replies back from even single moms and people with bad jobs.
OLD mostly relies on physical appearance. If your pictures are average to below average, you'll be in a much more competitive pool. It's also easier to cross someone off when they're not right in front of you to make a first impression.
What are you saying? I'm sorry, I see this one here often enough. I've been very active on OKC since things ended with my last woman. I've sent out 9 messages in 2 weeks (which is a ton for me), 7 responded, 2 dates planned. I think more will come. 6 messaged me, of those, 1 date planned with some more potentials. What part am I not understanding. I'm definitely not this 7 or 8 (whatever those look like), I don't earn good money, or live in a nice place... it seems easy to me, what are you sending to people that they don't respond? Are you checking that they're active?
You can't simply compare your experience to another's. There are several variables that can impact an individual's results. For instance, the dating market in which one lives can influence one's results differently than another's. If you live in a large urban area with a large variety of people, dating may be much easier for the average person. I have an African American friend who moved to Denver from Brooklyn. He has indicated on several occasions that it's difficult to meet women here because Denver is a pretty vanilla city. He mostly hooks up with Latina women when he is able to land a date. Also, if you live in a more rural community, dating in general will probably be more difficult because there is a smaller selection of people to choose from.
Another thing that comes to mind is if you live in a community where you don't fit in. Denver is a very outdoorsy, fit, and active community. If you are lazy, obese, and like none of these types of activities, dating is going to be more difficult for you. It's going to be frustrating for the inactive person looking at all these profiles with fit people in the pictures, telling stories about their latest marathon, century race, or 14er endeavor.
What are you saying? I'm sorry, I see this one here often enough. I've been very active on OKC since things ended with my last woman. I've sent out 9 messages in 2 weeks (which is a ton for me), 7 responded, 2 dates planned. I think more will come. 6 messaged me, of those, 1 date planned with some more potentials. What part am I not understanding. I'm definitely not this 7 or 8 (whatever those look like), I don't earn good money, or live in a nice place... it seems easy to me, what are you sending to people that they don't respond? Are you checking that they're active?
I only message people that have been active in the past day usually. Many don't even have anything filled out, so I comment on physical attributes there, but the rest I try to comment on profile content.
I'm by no means a model, but my pictures are dressed well (mostly golf attire), a few selfies, some with and without my glasses - I keep my hair buzzed because it doesn't grow uniformly.
I'd say my reply rate is between 5%-10%. It is really rare for me to even get a Tinder match, even though I probably fill out half the likes most days.
I don't get a ton of attention in real life but when I do it's usually from 18-25 girls or 40+. I can't remember the last time I actually went out with someone within five years of my age, and almost all of my girlfriends have been more than five years younger or older than me.
I only message people that have been active in the past day usually. Many don't even have anything filled out, so I comment on physical attributes there, but the rest I try to comment on profile content.
I'm by no means a model, but my pictures are dressed well (mostly golf attire), a few selfies, some with and without my glasses - I keep my hair buzzed because it doesn't grow uniformly.
I'd say my reply rate is between 5%-10%. It is really rare for me to even get a Tinder match, even though I probably fill out half the likes most days.
I don't get a ton of attention in real life but when I do it's usually from 18-25 girls or 40+. I can't remember the last time I actually went out with someone within five years of my age, and almost all of my girlfriends have been more than five years younger or older than me.
If you can, try Meetup groups. You'll be 50% ahead of the game by already having met the person.
And what's wrong with average? I mean, what do you have to offer an above average woman with a great personality, other than your low self esteem and a host of other issues?
Average looking women don't do much for me. I know I'd always want something more if I was with a woman deemed average. I just have always been a looks person. I just would need high physical attraction. I don't get that same feeling when looking at an average woman compared to one that's above average.
Average looking women don't do much for me. I know I'd always want something more if I was with a woman deemed average. I just have always been a looks person. I just would need high physical attraction. I don't get that same feeling when looking at an average woman compared to one that's above average.
I'm the same way..I'm very visual I would rather be alone then with someone I have no physical attraction to at all.. But with my looks or lack of I don't think I can attract a women im physically attracted to
Some of these self proclaimed average to less than average guys talking about how they don't want to settle for their "equivalent" woman looks wise are really embarrassing the heck out of themselves.
That's just how the cookie crumbles, I mean really, you guys are really really embarrassing yourselves here. Grow up a little.
Leagues exist, I don't care who says they don't, they might not be a pronounced as when in HS, but let's not kids ourselves here. If good looking guy who's 40-ish say, has a good job is in shape and can carry a decent conversation is most certainly going to want the same in his partner.
He's not going to want some fat greasy slob that works at some low end menial job and the real clincher is not having a personality. Sorry to be so graphic, but I'm trying to make a point.
That in of itself qualifies as a "league" how else can it not?????? We can spin it and call it "preference" if it makes ourselves feel a little less picky and or mean spirited. I mean there is a collation to what we call preferences and leagues, most certainly.
Same goes for the ladies, yes, there are leagues. They aren't set in stone, but they exist.
So boys, if you're average, in every way, most likely you'll get an average woman, the "hot" woman most likely has a threshold of what she wants in a man, and typically it's not less then "her", yeah, I know the money argument, but most average everyday people aren't loaded with cash, so let's keep it real here.
There are exceptions when you see super hot with less than, and they do exist, but I guarantee that the less than in looks makes up for it in personality or something else.
I'm talking all things being equal here. Most people that I see and know are all fairly well matched, for the most part. I rarely see some beauty queen with a troll for a guy. Just doesn't happen as much in real life.
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