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I am afraid, I didn't communicate my problem quite well. I am not interested in revealing her motives! Let's say I trust that everything she says is true! I was wondering how many of you people would be ok with the idea.
What adds to the story, and makes it a special case is that her ex tried her a couple of months after they broke up and he has the reputation of a "shark", that is never loosing an opportunity...
I would like to hear your opinions both for the general case and this special one...
I am afraid, I didn't communicate my problem quite well. I am not interested in revealing her motives! Let's say I trust that everything she says is true! I was wondering how many of you people would be ok with the idea.
What adds to the story, and makes it a special case is that her ex tried her a couple of months after they broke up and he has the reputation of a "shark", that is never loosing an opportunity...
I would like to hear your opinions both for the general case and this special one...
It actually doesn't matter what WE think. All that matters is what YOU think.
And if even 99% of us would say: it's OK (I highly doubt that even 50% would agree), you cannot go for the "statistical" outcome.
If you decide that your GF visiting and living with her ex for a week is inappropriate or plain wrong - that's all you should care about. It's your relationship, not ours.
Are you going to change your point of view just because some random Internet users told you so???
Oddly, a woman was on here just the other day who wanted to go visit an ex she had been friends with for years, and her boyfriend was getting all jealous about it.
Quite a lot of folks said she should dump him......
My advice to her is the same as my advice to you.
If I have managed to stay friends with someone for many years, whether ex or not, and somebody new comes along and gets antsy about it, it's the somebody new who will be soon another ex.
Don't try to stop her, be a jerk, or try to make her feel guilty.
Talk to her reasonably, and more importantly, listen to her.
Ultimately, trust will come. Perhaps it's too soon into your relationship for this, and there are issues you need to work on
Oddly, a woman was on here just the other day who wanted to go visit an ex she had been friends with for years, and her boyfriend was getting all jealous about it.
Quite a lot of folks said she should dump him......
My advice to her is the same as my advice to you.
If I have managed to stay friends with someone for many years, whether ex or not, and somebody new comes along and gets antsy about it, it's the somebody new who will be soon another ex.
Don't try to stop her, be a jerk, or try to make her feel guilty.
Talk to her reasonably, and more importantly, listen to her.
Ultimately, trust will come. Perhaps it's too soon into your relationship for this, and there are issues you need to work on
She was with her ex for 2 years, and she is with her current BF for 2 years. In that case no one is really "old" or "new".
Ex is an ex (for a reason), and should be past.
I don't agree with your reasoning.
@bobman: at which place did I get jealous from her being friends? Would you be OK with your gf staying with her ex in a country that would totally depend on him, so spending 90% of the day together?
@Elnina: you are right, but she made me feel so conservative that I wanted to see some more opinions...
@coconut: tried to bang her in a meeting for work after they split
For all the rest, she would be fine with me going, but as I said this is a different question.
Tell her you're not ok with this and, like others said if she isn't ok with you going too them dump her on the spot.
Here's what she is really saying...
"You wait here while I go to this country to see if there is anything worth getting back together. There is nothing to worry about just relax. It'll probably just be a hot fling for a week. Then of course I will come right back to you. In the mean time sit right there and don't go anywhere."
@bobman: at which place did I get jealous from her being friends? Would you be OK with your gf staying with her ex in a country that would totally depend on him, so spending 90% of the day together?
@Elnina: you are right, but she made me feel so conservative that I wanted to see some more opinions...
@coconut: tried to bang her in a meeting for work after they split
For all the rest, she would be fine with me going, but as I said this is a different question.
You are not too conservative, unless you have open relationship. Clarify that with her.
BTW: if she would be fine with you going - would you stay with her in his house?
Or she would stay with him, and you would stay in a hotel...
Is she still in contact with her ex? If so, who came up with the idea of her visiting?
If he tried to seduce her and failed a couple of months after their breakup, what reason would he have for not trying to do so again?
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