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We want to get a kitty so damn bad. I'm not particular about what kind, the only thing I'd really prefer is an affectionate, cuddle-oriented kitty and not an aloof, loner kitty. How can one tell?
Tabby kitten. Sure thing. My Butterz waits by the door, and leaps into my arms, or on my shoulder when I get home.
The old grey tabby I adopted, bc his cat arm always reached for me out of his cage at the Humane Society. I had too many pets, but I took him home eventually anyway —I couldn’t stand to picture him there, reaching... That was 2003 —he was already old, with long teeth. 16 years later, and how many moves, how many life changes, how many everything —he’s still here, sitting on my lap looking up at me. 🐈
My son says..."Realistically though, you probably wouldn't get hired as a stripper. I mean, there would be prettier women than you applying for the job, and they're going to give it to the prettiest, so why bother when they'd probably turn you down anyhow."
And meltdown in 3...2...1...
I was like "Oh my god. Dude. DUDE."
I don't think it would have ever occurred to me to say that, even at 17. Ouch.
The correct response is to object for the real reasons, like, "It makes me very uncomfortable. I may not want to continue in a relationship with you, if that is the choice you make for yourself." Or "I feel that the stresses and hardships of that lifestyle may be harmful to you, and it concerns me." And then accept that she will make her own choices and then make YOUR choices for yourself accordingly, like, "OK I can't keep doing this. I wish you well but I'm out."
Rather than, y'know, negging the girlfriend and making her feel ugly and unwanted and miserable, and angry and abused on top of it. It was at best, hugely insensitive.
You can object to something without being mean.
Quote:
Originally Posted by RbccL
Yeah but, 17...if my bf told me I was pretty enough to be a stripper, I wouldn't have liked that either.
Her looks should not have been part of the conversation.
What I told her when I was trying to help de-escalate the conflict in my living room, was that she is extremely beautiful, maybe not in a "strippers, porn and magazine models" sort of an airbrushed, plastic kind of a way. But in a way that also conveys character and warmth. She is beautiful in a way that will appeal to anyone who wants to love a whole person, not just a bunch of body parts in heels. And that MAYBE what my bumbling young son was attempting to convey was simply that he didn't think of her as a bimbo.
I was thinking, "There. I helped as much as I could, kid. Now try not to jam your foot into your mouth anymore tonight if you can avoid it, jeez..."
Her looks should not have been part of the conversation.
What I told her when I was trying to help de-escalate the conflict in my living room, was that she is extremely beautiful, maybe not in a "strippers, porn and magazine models" sort of an airbrushed, plastic kind of a way. But in a way that also conveys character and warmth. She is beautiful in a way that will appeal to anyone who wants to love a whole person, not just a bunch of body parts in heels. And that MAYBE what my bumbling young son was attempting to convey was simply that he didn't think of her as a bimbo.
I was thinking, "There. I helped as much as I could, kid. Now try not to jam your foot into your mouth anymore tonight if you can avoid it, jeez..."
Yes of course I understand it isn’t about looks. I’m trying to imagine my daughters reaction at 17, if I had been listening to a conversation between her and her friend, then came in to de-escalate and interpret for him what she probably really meant.
Wouldn’t have gone over too good, even when she was 7.
Tabby kitten. Sure thing. My Butterz waits by the door, and leaps into my arms, or on my shoulder when I get home.
The old grey tabby I adopted, bc his cat arm always reached for me out of his cage at the Humane Society. I had too many pets, but I took him home eventually anyway —I couldn’t stand to picture him there, reaching... That was 2003 —he was already old, with long teeth. 16 years later, and how many moves, how many life changes, how many everything —he’s still here, sitting on my lap looking up at me. 🐈
You might be onto something - every tabby I've known has been a loveball. Both of my siblings got kittens recently, right after I mentioned (at Christmas luncheon) that we were thinking about getting a kitty. Now I might just go and enjoy their cats until we get one ourselves.
The store I'm working at is closing for good this Saturday. We've known since the end of November, but we didn't start taking stuff down until like mid December. Since then, all I've heard is "Omg are y'all closing?" "Are y'all remodeling?" "I'm so sorry! I hate to hear that, what are you going to do for work?" "Do you have another job?" My favorites are the ones with the faux sympathy/concern and they ask why we are closing then proceed to make a $200 online return because their clothes "didn't fit." Ahhh humans.
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