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And Op, don't forget that women are not the only ones with SO's. I'm sure that there have been plenty of conversations where the guy had to bring up being in a relationship when it seemed like things were getting overly flirtatious. That wouldn't be an insult to her worth, or him flattering himself, it's simply a precaution and nothing more. If you ever have a spouse/SO who is in that position, I'm sure you wouldn't mind her being upfront.
I don't even see "My boyfriend didn't vote for Bush" as necessarily a preemptive or proactive comment in the first place. Can't we mention the men in our lives in casual conversation?
(OP thinks that we're all lying though. Because he's ugly or something.)
In any case, I am not sure how he knows what these women are telling other men. He is trying to tell us that whenever this happens (which apparently, is constantly) he immediately rushes to discuss the encounter with nearby good looking men to see if she told THEM she had a boyfriend.
It really doesn't make much sense, but nothing about this thread does.
I think the OP feels as though (key word feels) women preemptively reject him just in case he's interested. He believes that this is unnecessary because he's not flirting or showing interest. He believes that the lack of interest is based on how he looks, as other men in the same environment aren't told about boyfriends.
I think you make some jumps there, OP but I'm going to agree that there is some merit to your observation, but not your interpretation of it.. Pretty people getting interest and overall better treatment than not so pretty people happens, and while it's no fun to experience first hand, what are you gonna do. You don't have to compare the way you're treated to the way more attractive men are treated, and if you do you'll lose in that comparison. So that's kind of self inflicted, and that's really where this starts and ends.
If a woman is simply letting you down easy because she believes you're working toward hitting on her and she's not interested, is that the worst thing in the world? She may have misread you're intent, in which case she made a mistake. That's really OK, right? You don't have to see her as delusional about her attractiveness or super critical of yours. Let this one go.
Was there something we missed here in seeing the other person's side and trying to help? OP doesn't want to hear ANY of it. ALL he wants to hear is: 1. women are liars and are all entirely shallow, and no woman ever goes for a non-Hollywood-handsome man, period. 2. These women DEFINITELY WERE bringing up boyfriends for NO OTHER REASON than to make sure the OP doesn't ask them out. (Like we could possibly know that?) Sorry, how are any of us supposed to go, "Yes, you're right!" to that?
Yes, the thread could go back and forth forever, with the OP learning nothing, zip, and continuing to hate women...well, he'll probably do that latter anyway, thread or no thread.
This is why I know you have an agenda.
I do not hate women. I don't know where that was stated or implied, but I do not hate women.
I've explained like 50 times that when I was in my workplace, I did an informal survey to see who mentioned boyfriends to whom, etc.
You're practicing selective amnesia followed by delusions of trying to help.
All you've done to me in this entire thread is bark at me like some rabid animal to prove that men are problematic and that I've somehow done "something" to create the situation I've described.
I think the OP feels as though (key word feels) women preemptively reject him just in case he's interested. He believes that this is unnecessary because he's not flirting or showing interest. He believes that the lack of interest is based on how he looks, as other men in the same environment aren't told about boyfriends.
I think you make some jumps there, OP but I'm going to agree that there is some merit to your observation, but not your interpretation of it.. Pretty people getting interest and overall better treatment than not so pretty people happens, and while it's no fun to experience first hand, what are you gonna do. You don't have to compare the way you're treated to the way more attractive men are treated, and if you do you'll lose in that comparison. So that's kind of self inflicted, and that's really where this starts and ends.
If a woman is simply letting you down easy because she believes you're working toward hitting on her and she's not interested, is that the worst thing in the world? She may have misread you're intent, in which case she made a mistake. That's really OK, right? You don't have to see her as delusional about her attractiveness or super critical of yours. Let this one go.
1) No, it's the worst thing in the world, it's just annoying.
2) I never said they were delusional, I just felt it is presumptuous and borderline insulting.
In any case, I see what kind of people populate this part of C-D. I have to say I'm terribly disappointed.
I don't recall ever doing this when I was dating. It would seem rather misplaced in some of the examples given in this thread. When I've let a man down or displayed disinterest, I didn't employ the boyfriend/husband approach unless someone was legit trying to hit me up.
However, I can see how bringing up a partner can make sense to the individual sharing a story or experience, at least in certain contexts. I sometimes do this when talking about various things, but it's usually in a specific context, like referencing a certain situation or occurrence that is relevant to the narrative or point I'm expressing.
This happened to me an hour ago. I asked the closest worker a question and she immediately stated that she was married but my question was where is the bathroom at? I wasn't even trying to hit on her. I think many women's (not all) ego is so blown up they think every man who asks her a question is hitting on her when in reality many men aren't.
And you need to look at other men to thank for that.
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I wasn't even trying to hit on her. I think many women's (not all) ego is so blown up they think every man who asks her a question is hitting on her when in reality many men aren't.
