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New tv series BBC tv UK the older couple story would like some opinions on that. It is well into the story the plot unfolds of the older couple. It is a bit complicated. For those wanting to watch for themselves see vid.
I am a part of an older couple that has learned a lot from my previous unsuccessful marriage, which played out like the ones on this video. I learned that years of subtle emotional abuse on my part took a tremendous toll on both of us: mutual resentment, defensiveness and self-justification, and then complete denial. When this goes on for years, the walls that kept me from seeing what i was actually doing kept on growing higher and thicker. It felt like i was under siege. Without understanding (refusing to see) my role in the breakdown of our relationship and denying the role i played in this, it felt hopeless.
Yes, we went into counseling. I abandoned the castle i was guarding and we divorced.
My next two "relationships" were short because i hadn't learned anything.
Eventually and slowly i started to do what the counselor had asked us, "do you see a pattern in your relationships with women". I did. I joined a self-help group for divorced singles. They all had the same general general story as mine. The evidence began to sink in. It really was a fresh breeze and gave me a lot of hope, so i just kept digging.
Did i learn how to re-invent my relationship? Only in a negative sense, by understanding what behavior on my part helped to destroy my previous relationship and what situations would trigger that behavior.
As this was happening, an Angel or an Eskimo (depending on your beliefs about fate and the law of large numbers), dropped into my life. It has turned out that the big changes i thought i needed to have a stable, loving relationship, involved only one thing: stop what i did in the past and do something else that doesn't get the same old result and behave in a way that shows nothing more than a strong attachment and a willingness to say i'm sorry and mean it. (Somewhere I need to throw in "and accept her just as she is", if you really love her and she loves you).
I don't know if that helps to explain how a person can dig themselves out of the hole that helped to destroy a previous relationship and ended badly, or not.
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