Why are military men ,more marriagable than civilians? (long-term, marrying, women)
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Is there are difference between marrying an enlisted versus an officer? If there is, I would surmise that it is pertinent to the discussion.
I've always heard that infidelity and divorce is higher among the enlisted... I don't know if it is true or not. However, it makes sense to me given that many of these fine men and women spend long periods of time away from family and often take the brunt of a lot of stress.
There are tens of thousands of "military men" and like in any exceptionally large group of people there are going to be stellar human beings and complete tools and everything in between.
Op, military men are NOT anymore marriageable than anybody else. When I was in, in ALOT of cases, the first commitment was to the unit, training missions, and whatever is going on during the training cycle. I'm not at all saying that military men are less marriageable than civilians, but it tends put a lot more stress on a marriage especially when a unit is preparing to deploy and even more so when the unit is actually in theater. Well, that was my experience anyway. This is especially true for enlisted personnel.
Last edited by TenorSax83; 06-23-2016 at 10:45 AM..
I live in a navy town and by most respects, military men are not "more marriageable" than other men. Most are just more willing to get married, particularly at younger ages, because it means they can then live off-base and earn more money. I had a few military guys who wanted to marry me, quickly, while I was in college and we were 19-20. They wanted the benefits of a wife more so than they wanted a wife, but I was also not the sort of girl to fall into that plan.
My husband is a veteran and we started dating with a year left in his contract. I think it helped him to get discipline and order in his life and helped him to pursue his education post-military... I just think that the military is like any other large group of people: some good, some bad, and hard to make any hasty generalizations over.
The bolded is quite true, at least from my husband's experience. He tells me about people he knows who met then got married right away, because it doubles their income. He even knows people who are plainly just best-friends and got married (same-sex) for the BAH. He "knows" because apparently those people are actually dating other people and are not lesbian/gay. My husband also gets more BAH money than his actual pay, so it definitely makes sense to just be married.
As for military men vs civilians, I know a number of amazing civilian men and I know for a fact that they treat their women/would be women like a queen.
OP, perhaps you need to change the scenery of the places you find your dates.
I think they seem more stable because they are always told what to do. They are given a house (or allowance), they can lose there job for things like spousal abuse, etc.
They are literally the property of the US government.
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From a woman's point of view, dating civilians has been a disaster. It seems like military men have more focus and a better sense of self, more adjusted a.nd focused. On the other hand civilians are all over the place with nothing to offer but a beer at their house. They have no motivation, past a gas station, and are selfish. It's like they gave up on life. They won't even get up to exercise.
I don't know I see it very differently. I personally would not want to be in a relationship with anyone who was in the military or a policer officer. I think both this lines of work make people more agreesive, bossy, controlling, too structured and robotic. I think if these are traits you value in someone that would make them more attractive to you. If someone only had beer in their fridge ... for me I would see that as an opportunity to put more stuff I like to have in the fridge or an indication that we are likely going to have a lot of dinner dates out . I would take that over going to someone's house and they have everything lined up and labelled or a fridge full of protein supplements.
My husband is Navy, had been in for 12 years when we met.
"Stability" is subjective. Our lifestyle happens to be quite stable (has been a mix of shore duty and transferring from active duty to reserve duty in our years together). But prior to us meeting, his life was deployments and underways...all things that contribute to a decidedly UNSTABLE family life in many instances and are very hard on marriages and kids (my late uncle retired a Navy senior chief and burned through three marriages in his nearly three decades enlisted, most of which were spent at sea). It's also very common, particularly for enlisted, to marry quite young, which makes military marriages susceptible to all the challenges couples face when they wed early, before they're even solid on who they are and what they want out of life.
There are many standup people in the military. There are also many pieces of crap. Same is any other profession. We've known many military members who've had terrible marital problems, treat their partners poorly, etc. You might be looking at a "grass is greener" thing here, but don't make the mistake of assuming someone has it together in life simply because they're in the military. I've worked with military families, and there's plenty of dysfunction. Just as with any profession. Military is unique in that it can result in a transient lifestyle (doesn't, always), and in wartime, deployments are always a threat to family stability. But, mostly, day-to-day, it's a job with similar challenges as other jobs.
Last edited by TabulaRasa; 06-23-2016 at 02:33 PM..
I don't know I see it very differently. I personally would not want to be in a relationship with anyone who was in the military or a policer officer. I think both this lines of work make people more agreesive, bossy, controlling, too structured and robotic.
Also a massive stereotype, no less so than the ones feeding the OP's original conceit.
From a woman's point of view, dating civilians has been a disaster. It seems like military men have more focus and a better sense of self, more adjusted a.nd focused. On the other hand civilians are all over the place with nothing to offer but a beer at their house. They have no motivation, past a gas station, and are selfish. It's like they gave up on life. They won't even get up to exercise.
And your definitive proof is....?
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I would have to disagree ...
. I would take that over going to someone's house and they have everything lined up and labelled or a fridge full of protein supplements.
