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The article sounds like career driven women not particularly strong women.I am not ambitious or a power driven woman,and definately prefer the man to be in that role it is a much bigger sexual and emotional turn on for me I've found,that's the main reason.
It's pretty strange as my father was a completely passive,emotional,nuturing feminine guy who was a great father,but I just don't want that.
I cannot think of anything worse than chatting up about our market strategies or targets or something all night,but overall the article was interesting.
Definately enjoyed the part about valuing each other's opinions.
I am not career driven either. I want my man to be the provider. I may have him working 80 hours a week to provide my every whim... But I want a manly man.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 36,962,945 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LowonLuck
I am not career driven either. I want my man to be the provider. I may have him working 80 hours a week to provide my every whim... But I want a manly man.
Your whims and the whims of children that aren't his.
Most M/F relationships today are based on a quid pro quo, she provides sex, he provides resources, money etc. But if the woman already has plenty of her own money, is independent and manages just fine on her own, I don't quite understand what she would want a man for. The only thing I can think that these women would want would be men that have more money, better status, than her. And of course, that's very typical for women. They want to marry up. I could see why most men would back off from the strong independent woman. If she's strong and independent, she doesn't need anyone.
For me, I don't need a man to be able to buy a house or drive a nice car. I want someone to help make things easier for me, cuddle with after a hard day, travel with, help with all the things my dad still does, etc.
The give and take is hard for me. I look at it as though they are trying to change me and who I am. I don't want to be changed. Love me how I am, or don't love me at all. They usually take the don't love me at all. I admit I am hard to love. The guys that can handle me tend to be the bad boys that have lived on the edge. The good guys don't know what to do with me at all. And the bad boys are not interested in the family/ wife life. Which I do want to go along with my bar/ bike fun wild life. Tall order apparently
Yeah. The decent guys will want decent women. And you have admitted and shown to be very uncompromising. In the end, you do what you want, and feel compromise is being controlled. Thus you continue with the lack of boundaries and wild life. So naturally the only men that can handle that will be the bad boy users that don't care what you do, because they're doing the same and not focused on family life. The wild girls will get the wild men. And many wild men are just gonna be in it for fun and themselves.
Like the last guy. Did you dump the gym guy? If he's out, then yes. He wanted family life, but he could not be at ease with you given your lifestyle, and you didn't want to be controlled so you mostly did as you wanted. And clearly, that didn't help. Now, you're single again, and your kids have had a 3rd man come into your home and lives only to drop out a few months later. If you are still with the hot bodybuilder, then try to be more compromising.
It's not being controlled. If you want someone to take your feelings into consideration and do things for you, it should be mutual. Because with dating, and being a team, both parties have to work together and turning it into a power struggle of "I will not be controlled and do as I please" is not teamwork.
You seem to want an old-fashioned gender role relationship with the man in his role as provider to your every whim and to do all the heavy lifting. But you don't wanna be in your role as a woman who actually listens to and takes her man's thoughts into consideration. If he has issues with something, you write him off as controlling. And that's very unreasonable for someone who expects a man to do her chores and care for her kids. You come off as using people just as much as you claim to be used.
Last edited by HappyRain; 06-24-2016 at 06:37 AM..
We are still together. I am trying to be more compromising. As is he. But I did have to have the talk that I need some freedom or I will go crazy. He wants to be up my butt all the time.
And yes I want the man to be the provider, but I want to be the one running the show.
Another pattern I have found, is that I can take an unsuccessful guy and turn him into a business owner or high wage earner, but then everything falls apart. They no longer need me and they move on, without me.
Nope, I am real. I am also focusing on figuring out who I am, what makes me tick and being real. Hopefully eventually it will help me figure out who my soul mate is and how I can do my part to making it work.
And yes I want the man to be the provider, but I want to be the one running the show.
But it doesn't work that way.
If you wanna run the show, that comes with pulling a lot of the weight, like you have been. Being in charge for anything is an effort. Leaders have tons to do. A leader doesn't just get to sit on his ass & be catered to, or else much doesn't get done, or his followers realize he's not good and leave.
A stand-up man's man provider isn't gonna want a selfish uncompromising woman that just wants to be wild and have in lack of boundaries with exes, and does whatever, while he caters to her.
It sounds like you want a butler, not a romantic partner. You could try hiring one. or a nanny. For someone who hates being controlled, you sure seem to wanna do a lot of it.
Quote:
Another pattern I have found, is that I can take an unsuccessful guy and turn him into a business owner or high wage earner, but then everything falls apart. They no longer need me and they move on, without me.
Yes. Once they're in a better place in life, they move on to find more appropriate women. Something about you is causing guys to date you who don't have much going for them. You're just good for the level they're on. When the move up, they move up with other women who are more stable, come with less baggage, have better sense of boundaries + awareness, and are not quite as selfish.
Last edited by HappyRain; 06-24-2016 at 07:14 AM..
I am not career driven either. I want my man to be the provider. I may have him working 80 hours a week to provide my every whim... But I want a manly man.
I doubt that's going to happen.
You want a lot, you want to give very little. That usually equals single.
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