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Old 06-23-2016, 07:49 PM
 
4,828 posts, read 4,271,640 times
Reputation: 4766

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sydney123 View Post
Simple.. My dog is not an a-hole. He doesn't go out of his way to think of things to put me down, doesn't expect me to live up to his expectations of how I should act, dress, wear my clothing, make up , hair, who I can be friends with, who I talk to, or where I go.
He's loyal, trustworthy, and he loves me unconditionally. Plus he's a manly dog! He'll protect me .. Feminazi views on equality and all.
Got to hand it to the OP though.... This has to be a first in the women bashing thread category! Kudos Weez! I'd toss you a bone, but I only have one and it's for ( wait for it) ... My dog.
Clearly not female bashing. Asking a question more than anything else. It seems anytime someone questions the opposite sex it's bashing. I can admit some people bash for sure, but for someone who's struggling dating a bit, I'm not only looking at myself but I'm also questioning the available field. I obviously can't date a woman who's taken, so my options are what's available.

I had a date a couple weeks ago that was a one and done, not because she wasn't attractive, but because she had some boundary issues that weren't okay with me. Yeah, I could have easily kept dating her and led her on, but what's the point? I wasn't interested and I told her that.

With some of the women who I have been interested in and they were interested in me, they would back off, because of various reasons. I asked a correlation of pets, because that seemed to be a reoccurring theme. I'm trying to date in a field where searching what's right for me is a difficult find. Each date you go on that doesn't work is kind of a bummer.

We all know there's plenty of people out there that just aren't right for us at all.
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Old 06-24-2016, 07:41 AM
 
28 posts, read 24,161 times
Reputation: 15
Only two of the people I've dated had pets (that I know of). One had a dog, but I don't remember what happened to it, and after a while, he had cats. Another had two guinea pigs. Neither of them would really be considered flaky, but it doesn't matter. Neither relationship worked out in the end.
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Old 06-24-2016, 07:47 AM
 
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,938 posts, read 36,838,343 times
Reputation: 40634
I haven't found them to be flakey. But I have found the "my dog is my child" types to be very hard to date seriously, as get out of town day trips, or weekend trips, is an ordeal. Definitely not a dealbreaker thing, but when I see this little yip yip dog being held all close to their faces in profile pics, it gives me serious pause.
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Old 06-24-2016, 07:58 AM
 
4,828 posts, read 4,271,640 times
Reputation: 4766
Quote:
Originally Posted by timberline742 View Post
I haven't found them to be flakey. But I have found the "my dog is my child" types to be very hard to date seriously, as get out of town day trips, or weekend trips, is an ordeal. Definitely not a dealbreaker thing, but when I see this little yip yip dog being held all close to their faces in profile pics, it gives me serious pause.
I think the bolded is how I should have worded my original post. It's that phrase that I don't understand. I much rather love a child unconditionally than a dog/cat or whatever. I get that an animal gives its own unconditional love, but I rather live for the day to day of working to keep my relationship strong with another human being that I'm physically, emotionally, and mentally attracted to, than a pet who will love me regardless of how my day is.
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Old 06-24-2016, 07:58 AM
 
10,341 posts, read 5,842,316 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by weezerfan84 View Post
...By having a pet, it would cut too much into my mountain biking or being able to schedule things on a whim.
...all the women I've encountered above all had, to me, super unhealthy relationships to their pets.
You're concentrating on the pet aspect. That's very selective, and not a clearly defining attribute to to make any kind of connection to the flakiness you encounter. You do not believe in having a relationship with an animal you are living with, so you don't understand it and describe it as "super unhealthy". You are citing no proven facts to support- having a relationship with a pet makes one mentally or physically unhealthy. Quite the contrary, IMO.

I have a very physical job, sometimes working 7 days in a row. I wouldn't go mountain biking on a date, I like to do something where I can relax, or be entertained. You don't have pets. Should I now conclude: Men without pets have sedentary jobs and choose to mountain bike on dates. Coincidentally the dates I recall not working out in a memorable way were with men who didn't have pets. I never realized that until just now. Perhaps it's because I thought each was an individual with characteristics that weren't attractive to me. I didn't think: Oh if only he had a dog...then I'd want to rub all over him.

We like people who like the same things we like. Pets along with other things in common soon make an attractive package to someone with similar likes. If I were to think of the females in my life that I enjoy doing things with or talking to (IRL) they do indeed all have pets, and no children. No children at home anyway. These are only 2 factors in their lives out of 100 though, so the thought has never occurred to me that female friends with pets make better friends, because I know that's just going on in MY world. It is no way anything that makes an absolute.

It would be like me saying: Apparently I can only have a good time with men who don't drive white cars or live in duplexes, or like country music. or wear shiny shoes, none of them did...but now I'm looking for a correlation where there is none. I haven't met the right guy yet, and maybe I won't. Maybe I'm more comfortable being single and living alone so that's why none have appeared to be right. This situation does not make me reflect on what is it about them that is keeping me single though.

You'll have to do some inner-reflecting.
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Old 06-24-2016, 08:07 AM
 
14,376 posts, read 18,320,068 times
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I have a few friends who are kind of flakey. But I'm not flakey at all for the most part. I've never backed out of a date because of my dogs. The only time that would have happened was when my old girl was 16 and near the end of her life, with seizures happening on occasion.

My one friend is flakey because she has a bunch of dogs, but also because she's got 3 jobs now. We don't hold it against her. I'm not buying into the premise.
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Old 06-24-2016, 08:08 AM
 
6,304 posts, read 8,992,430 times
Reputation: 8149
Quote:
Originally Posted by weezerfan84 View Post
I think the bolded is how I should have worded my original post. It's that phrase that I don't understand. I much rather love a child unconditionally than a dog/cat or whatever. I get that an animal gives its own unconditional love, but I rather live for the day to day of working to keep my relationship strong with another human being that I'm physically, emotionally, and mentally attracted to, than a pet who will love me regardless of how my day is.
So then look for someone who feels the same way as you do. This really isn't a question of "flaky" or "I don't understand how people feel this way"- it's an issue of compatibility and finding what works for you.
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Old 06-24-2016, 08:24 AM
 
4,380 posts, read 4,441,169 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cpg35223 View Post
Good rule of thumb:

The "Pets? No Problem!" Zone.

2 Pets. Sure. Because one keeps the other company, right?
That's why I have two.

Quote:
Originally Posted by cpg35223 View Post

Yellow Flag. Proceed With Caution.

Multiple pets, all of whose names end with a 'Y' sound. Quite possibly an eight-year-old in a woman's body.
Two pets, "Y" sound ending names. I'm not eight. I'm 12.

Some days I do like my dogs more than I do some people. My dogs don't speak and they aren't a-holes. Well, one of them can be but he's usually pretty sweet and loving.

Quote:
Originally Posted by soUlwounD View Post
Pets are comfy. I would bring the side of everyone knows how hard and stressfull relationships can be. Also as sex is not too important to some women they get the warmth and closeness from animal. Some guys are violent, animals are not, some guys are controlling, animals are not, some guys would judge her outlooks, animals are not. Relationship with animal is in total different perspective, they also never leave you till they die. They are faithfull, always welcome home, always accepting as you are. No need to fake or act near them. They always love you no matter what.

Why ever anyone would want a guy instead?
Good point. LOL

Quote:
Originally Posted by mishigas73 View Post

When I was dating, one of the first things I brought up were my animals because I wanted to make sure that I wasn't wasting my time with someone who "didn't like them". That is definitely not the type of person I would be compatible with.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sweet Like Sugar View Post
For guys who are threatened by, allergic to, or simply just dislike pets- I could never really trust them around my cat. I'd always think that they were just waiting for the right opportunity to let her "accidentally" escape from the house or poison her food or something, just so they'd no longer have to be inconvenienced by her presence. Forget that!
When I had OLD profiles, I had "likes dogs" as one of my criteria when I searched. I was surprised by the number of men around here who have cats, which is unfortunate for me as I absolutely love cats but I'm allergic to them and so is one of my dogs (which I think is hysterical).

Quote:
Originally Posted by weezerfan84 View Post
Okay. I understand where you're coming from. It's the person, not the ownership.
No kids, two dogs and very likely one of the least flaky people you will ever meet. On the rare occasion I flake on something, it's not because of my dogs.
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Old 06-24-2016, 08:56 AM
 
14,078 posts, read 16,567,314 times
Reputation: 17654
Quote:
Originally Posted by weezerfan84 View Post
I think the bolded is how I should have worded my original post. It's that phrase that I don't understand. I much rather love a child unconditionally than a dog/cat or whatever. I get that an animal gives its own unconditional love, but I rather live for the day to day of working to keep my relationship strong with another human being that I'm physically, emotionally, and mentally attracted to, than a pet who will love me regardless of how my day is.
Sure, it would be great to love a child unconditionally, but I don't have one. So why can't I treat my cat like my child? Why should I place a human who I barely know above my cat? If it got to the point where I knew that the human was going to be an important part of my life, that's different, but the majority of people that I encounter are never going to go beyond an acquaintance level with me. Hence, they are never going to matter more to me than my cat.

Quote:
When I had OLD profiles, I had "likes dogs" as one of my criteria when I searched. I was surprised by the number of men around here who have cats, which is unfortunate for me as I absolutely love cats but I'm allergic to them and so is one of my dogs (which I think is hysterical).
Tinder is full of men with pictures of them with their dogs and "must love dogs" in their profiles, so I have the opposite problem. I don't really like dogs (except cocker spaniels), but I definitely would never have any around my cat, so I don't see the point in dating "dog people."
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Old 06-24-2016, 09:29 AM
 
4,380 posts, read 4,441,169 times
Reputation: 4437
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sweet Like Sugar View Post
Tinder is full of men with pictures of them with their dogs and "must love dogs" in their profiles, so I have the opposite problem. I don't really like dogs (except cocker spaniels), but I definitely would never have any around my cat, so I don't see the point in dating "dog people."
I have two cocker spaniels. They don't seem to see a difference between themselves and cats. I don't know how many cats we've encountered who have looked at me like "Are they for real?" They also tend to be oblivious to the neighbor's cat when it's sitting on the fence.

I'm pretty sure they were absent the day the hunting gene was passed out in spaniel school. One of them "hunts" by barking at his "prey." The other one can't catch a ball to save his life but he can at least catch flies, though I'd prefer he didn't.

The last guy I dated claimed to like dogs but when he didn't realize I was looking, I saw him making the shooting hand gesture at one of them with his thumb and forefinger. I don't need someone to fall in love with them, but they need to at least tolerate them. I've had them since they were puppies and they are 13.5 years old now so I'm not likely to have them much longer.
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