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I realize you're not psychic. But isn't the point of these forums on relationships to ask questions like this? I am just looking for what seems most logical to someone who is not emotionally too invested to see the most logical reasons behind it all.
I told him if he wanted to see other people that would be ok and he refused. I would think it was someone else too, only he had only been in the country for three weeks. I don't think he met someone that soon and I gave him that opportunity to take it slow and see others, he didn't want to.
Once again, as everyone is telling you, it doesn't matter what his deal is. What matters are your issues and your unhealthy choices and not being able to learn from the red flags presented to you.
People are giving you a hard time because you are arguing with them.
Don't ask people for advice and then argue with them when they don't give you the answers you want to hear.
I have very good self awareness. Not sure how you're such an expert on me. I am arguing because people keep talking about ME and I am not asking about ME. I am asking what they think sounds like were his motivations. The only answers I have gotten are rude ones about bad sex...Which was just not the case here. And a bunch of attacking responses saying I am the problem. I realize I made a bad choice. That's not what I was asking. I am arguing because people are being nasty and rude. I make no apology for that. I'm not getting the answers I want? Exactly. Nobody is actually answering what I asked.
Once again, as everyone is telling you, it doesn't matter what his deal is. What matters are your issues and your unhealthy choices and not being able to learn from the red flags presented to you.
Can you stop talking about my issues? I am not asking about my issues. This is what is annoying. I asked about his deal, if you don't think it matters, fine, stop posting to me, cause this is what I am asking. Not sure why you continue to talk about me. WE ALL HAVE ISSUES. Clearly you do too or you wouldn't keep responding to someone you don't know as if you know all about me and just keep arguing and saying what I asked doesn't matter. It matters to me, that's why I asked. If you can't answer then stop bugging me, you don't know me at all to make the comments you are making as if you do.
LOL @ putting this on other people having made bad choices and arguing with them instead of listening to what everyone is telling you about and using that information to learn from this.
I'm not putting this on anyone else. If someone came t me upset about something because someone hurt them and asking why they thought someone had behaved that way...I wouldn't go "Well maybe you're the issue, doesn't matter why they did it, something is wrong with you" I am LOL @ you for not getting that. You lack empathy and just want to feel powerful and argue. What people are telling me is "maybe the sex was bad and you have issues' That's not answering my question. I already know it wasn't bad, cause um, I was there and you all weren't. And I already realize I have issues. Wasn't asking about me. Please stop posting to me. Thanks.
The bolded is what I don't understand. Even if you did know, it wouldn't change anything and it is very unlikely that it would make you feel better.
In fact, finding out could make you feel WORSE. So it's best not to ruminate over it. Just let it go.
Everyone is different. I think understanding it would put it into perspective. I'm not saying it would change anything. I don't want him anymore after how much he hurt me anyway. I CUT OFF all contact with him. I'm not looking to make it better, just to gain some understanding so I can help myself to heal.
LOL OMG NY escapee you have to move on. You may be hung up because you had sex with the guy, so next time...maybe hold off. Just a Guy may be lacking empathy, but he is telling the truth IMHO. The guy may have started to dislike you after spending time with you, or he may have found someone else he likes more or he may have thought the sex was bad, or he may be busy. Just move on. It may hurt, but you can't win them all and he doesn't deserve your time.
LOL OMG NY escapee you have to move on. You may be hung up because you had sex with the guy, so next time...maybe hold off. Just a Guy may be lacking empathy, but he is telling the truth IMHO. The guy may have started to dislike you after spending time with you, or he may have found someone else he likes more or he may have thought the sex was bad, or he may be busy. Just move on. It may hurt, but you can't win them all and he doesn't deserve your time.
Dear God. I DON'T WANT HIM ANYMORE. I am just trying to understand. The sex was not the issue and WE DIDN'T HAVE FULL SEX. I stated this in my original post. We fooled around and he wanted more, I SAID no.
One vote for emotionally unstable guy changed his mind.
OP you can make a poll and we can all vote for why we think he did this.
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Everyone is different. I think understanding it would put it into perspective. I'm not saying it would change anything. I don't want him anymore after how much he hurt me anyway. I CUT OFF all contact with him. I'm not looking to make it better, just to gain some understanding so I can help myself to heal.
Regardless, we don't know.
I know this may be difficult for you to understand because of your own feelings. We can only speculate. No matter what we think it can easily be countered with your own doubt. the only person who knows is him. You two were the only ones in this situation.
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