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Why are you abandoning your long-kept rule for a woman who, unless drunk, treats you like crap?
If you think there are issues with a romantic relationship at work, you just wait and see what happens with a FWB! Those usually work for a month or two, then it all unravels but with the added issue that they THOUGHT it would end up being more. You're crazy to get involved sexually not only with a coworker but with someone basically on your team that you compete with. Many ways to backfire and the chances of it working for more than a month? Nil. Is one month of sex worth it? If so, you are really hard up.
Stick with your rule on dating. This chick could very well be looking to learn something on you to get rid of you or she could be egging you on and then she'll run to HR and file a sexual harassment suit on you and get rid of you that way. I would assume by her actions that she doesn't like you and may be looking for some way to get rid of you. Be very careful. Don't be so naive that people don't do these things, they certainly do. Not only that, its very unusual for someone to, based on their first impression hate you, and then later falling in love with you. I've never even heard of it happening.
Lastly, she could just be crazy. My wife complains about this kind of stuff in dealing with other women. One day they act like you're their best friend, then next time you see them, you don't even exist. Its manipulation. Stay away from this chick. Sounds very unstable.
I work for a very large company and am at their main headquarters. It's set up like a campus with a series of buildings, some of which I never go to. I have dated a coworker. It was fine for me as he was in a different building and we never saw each other during the day. (Except for the occasional lunch). I won't run the risk of bumping into him or have to awkwardly still work with him, see him in meetings, etc.
OP, your case is different. You see this person all-the-time. DROP IT. Don't go there.
You could actually be setting yourself up for sexual harassment if she runs to HR saying you are making her feel uncomfortable.
Now, GET BACK TO WORK.
Thanks guys! I'll keep this in mind and will definitely stay far away from this one. Good thing I haven't hit or approached her in a flirty way. I'll just continue to focus on what I'm there for and that's it.
So, you think she wants some full blown office romance after having a couple drinks at a party?
In respects to dating coworkers....
Are you the type that can keep all past lovers (girlfriends/fwb/f buddies, etc) as true friends in your life? If yes, you can possibly date coworkers without much drama interfering with your work.
That's the thing I would much rather not be around a person that I once dated as... well it can be problematic.
Thanks guys! I'll keep this in mind and will definitely stay far away from this one. Good thing I haven't hit or approached her in a flirty way. I'll just continue to focus on what I'm there for and that's it.
That's good because she was never into you in the first place
Last year, I was involved in a very similar situation.
This guy at work liked me but he had a massive ego and for some reason, I was always defensive around him. I liked him and was very attracted, but I couldn't bring myself to be "relaxed" around him. He just pushed my buttons for some odd reason. I was perfectly nice to other coworkers, but I was always tense around him. He didn't understand it and quite frankly, neither did I. We ended up bickering a few times because he made me nervous.
I think it was due to the fact I liked him and couldn't handle his inability to interact with me without his massive ego.
Also, I have strict policy not to hang out with coworkers after work and never to date someone I work with. It's a bad idea. He asked me to hang out with him after work and I declined each time. One day, I went a bit far when putting him in his place and he never spoke to me again. It became extremely awkward afterwards, especially as people felt the need to interfere and started rumors about how much of a meanie I was. I wasn't a meanie, I was acting professional. The workplace is not meant for speeding dating.
Moral of the story: Let it go and focus on your work. It won't lead to anything good and may actually affect your performance.
Last year, I was involved in a very similar situation.
This guy at work liked me but he had a massive ego and for some reason, I was always defensive around him. I liked him and was very attracted, but I couldn't bring myself to be "relaxed" around him. He just pushed my buttons for some odd reason. I was perfectly nice to other coworkers, but I was always tense around him. He didn't understand it and quite frankly, neither did I. We ended up bickering a few times because he made me nervous.
I think it was due to the fact I liked him and couldn't handle his inability to interact with me without his massive ego.
Also, I have strict policy not to hang out with coworkers after work and never to date someone I work with. It's a bad idea. He asked me to hang out with him after work and I declined each time. One day, I went a bit far when putting him in his place and he never spoke to me again. It became extremely awkward afterwards, especially as people felt the need to interfere and started rumors about how much of a meanie I was. I wasn't a meanie, I was acting professional. The workplace is not meant for speeding dating.
Moral of the story: Let it go and focus on your work. It won't lead to anything good and may actually affect your performance.
Haha it's funny you mention this as I also have a massive ego.. Maybe I too push her buttons for some unknown reasons.
Stick with your rule on dating. This chick could very well be looking to learn something on you to get rid of you or she could be egging you on and then she'll run to HR and file a sexual harassment suit on you and get rid of you that way. I would assume by her actions that she doesn't like you and may be looking for some way to get rid of you. Be very careful. Don't be so naive that people don't do these things, they certainly do. Not only that, its very unusual for someone to, based on their first impression hate you, and then later falling in love with you. I've never even heard of it happening.
Lastly, she could just be crazy. My wife complains about this kind of stuff in dealing with other women. One day they act like you're their best friend, then next time you see them, you don't even exist. Its manipulation. Stay away from this chick. Sounds very unstable.
Agree 100% with all of the above. The woman could easily be setting you up for a fall. I.e., if you ask her out she may use that against you. You already know she has an issue with you, so it doesn't make sense that she would suddenly turn around and act as if she likes you - unless she's got some ulterior motive for doing so.
In any case, I would be extremely careful around her.
Last edited by The Big Lebowski Dude; 07-14-2016 at 10:11 PM..
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