Was I in the wrong? (dating, girlfriend, single, family)
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My girlfriend and I have been dating 5 months. We get along fine but she has a drinking problem. She came by my place last night really drunk I let her in and took away her keys and she was really out of it. Anyway I got her some food and water but shortly after she ended up puking all over herself and the floor.
I tried to help her and she in her drunken state tried to clean herself up but it just made things worse so finally I said she should take a shower she drunkenly agreed but I had to take her to the shower and she couldn't get her clothes off so I took off her clothes and put them in the washer then went back helped her and after she got out I helped her put on a spare shirt and some shorts and put her in my bed, I slept on my couch.
Well later after she woke up she asked why she was wearing different clothes. I explained what happened and she told me she remembers coming to my place but nothing after that. By this point her clothes were washed and dry but she got really upset saying I had no right to do that. I explained she was covered in vomit and was just doing what I thought was best. I told her there was nothing nefarious with what I did but under the circumstances I felt it was the best thing.
And I have known she drinks but she has never done anything like this before. I was just trying to help but was I wrong her?
You help her, possibly save her life and others by taking her car keys, clean up her puke and her and yet she treats you with suspicion and anger? The Universe is trying to tell you something. Listen to it. You can do better than her.
You didn't nothing wrong! Your GF is a drunk, and getting progressively worse.
What I would do is get her to a facility where she can get help. If she agrees, there is a hope. If not - find you someone without addiction, because it will not get any better, just worse.
My girlfriend and I have been dating 5 months. We get along fine but she has a drinking problem. She came by my place last night really drunk I let her in and took away her keys and she was really out of it. Anyway I got her some food and water but shortly after she ended up puking all over herself and the floor.
I tried to help her and she in her drunken state tried to clean herself up but it just made things worse so finally I said she should take a shower she drunkenly agreed but I had to take her to the shower and she couldn't get her clothes off so I took off her clothes and put them in the washer then went back helped her and after she got out I helped her put on a spare shirt and some shorts and put her in my bed, I slept on my couch.
Well later after she woke up she asked why she was wearing different clothes. I explained what happened and she told me she remembers coming to my place but nothing after that. By this point her clothes were washed and dry but she got really upset saying I had no right to do that. I explained she was covered in vomit and was just doing what I thought was best. I told her there was nothing nefarious with what I did but under the circumstances I felt it was the best thing.
And I have known she drinks but she has never done anything like this before. I was just trying to help but was I wrong her?
Do YOU know anyone who is family or other relationship with her? I ask that..as SHE obviously has a "DENIAL PROBLEM".. Don't let her problem bring you down..YOU did all the right things..but for some odd reason wishes to blame you for her situation!1
Just try and open her eyes..but IF she wants to remain blindfolded..by altering close friends..just may help her in the end..in the meanwhile..suggest she get some help..
Most in need often refuse to accept their own responsibility..IF you enable it..You too will become the problem....There are a lot of redlines in many relationships..THIS IS ONE OF THEM!!
While she may ( when sober) be a wonderful person..BUT enabling this behaviour is hurtful for not JUST YOURSELF but HER as well...DRAW the line!! Which means..You will not be blamed for her issue..do/did like her..BUT unwilling to enable her self-destructive nature!!
In your place, I would make this lady an ex-girlfriend as speedily as possible. If you really like her, tell her if she can stay off the booze for 6 months you'll consider another try, but I'd never tolerate this kind of stuff. Nobody needs trouble in this form.
Oh, to answer the original question, I think you did exactly the right thing. But it should be for the last time.
Kick her to the curb. Sorry if that sounds mean, but after the experience I had with being in a relationship with an alcoholic, there's no way I'd allow this to continue if I were in your shoes. You literally couldn't pay me to go through that again.
You need to realize that this situation will not improve. It will only continue to get worse. She has a serious problem and you can't fix this. Until she hits rock bottom, she will never fix her problem on her own and you can't make her get there any faster.
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