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1st one can be an impossible difference to work out...
I went with #2. I've known many people in LDRs who have managed to make it work out for years and have ultimately ended up married and in happy relationships with children, including my sister and a grad school roommate. Both of them had trans-continental LDRs and the full period of the LDRs was several years. They are just two people I know who made it work. 20 years is just too great an age difference.
1st one can be an impossible difference to work out...
This.
The age difference will ALWAYS be 20 years and the differences will become much more apparent as they both grow older. I can't see this lasting more than a couple of years.
The mileage gap may not necessarily be permanent. I would advise that the relationship not go into exclusive territory until that gap is addressed, but it has a better chance for a longer lasting relationship.
I went with #2 but it's based solely on personal experience. I could never date a man 20 years younger or 20 years older. But I am dating a man now and there is an 8 year age gap and things are working just fine. I also know of a couple married for almost 20 years where the husband is 15 years younger. My grandfather was 10 years older than my grandmother and they were very happy too. Same with my brother and his wife. So nothing negative, although I don't really know of anyone with a full generation age gap to be fair.
But both long distance relationship I've tried ended in heartbreak and in one case the man cheating on me. In the other case the man was able to hide what he was really like (a jerk to others) because he was always playing the part of a good guy when I was around. I'll never do long distance again.
I can work with 20 years gap if she is younger than me.
Did you even read the question??
My scenario was a 20 year age gap with an older woman and younger man, not the other way around. Such basic reading comprehension that some people have trouble with
Everyone else, thanks for the well thought out responses!
I went with #2 but it's based solely on personal experience. I could never date a man 20 years younger or 20 years older. But I am dating a man now and there is an 8 year age gap and things are working just fine. I also know of a couple married for almost 20 years where the husband is 15 years younger. My grandfather was 10 years older than my grandmother and they were very happy too. Same with my brother and his wife. So nothing negative, although I don't really know of anyone with a full generation age gap to be fair.
But both long distance relationship I've tried ended in heartbreak and in one case the man cheating on me. In the other case the man was able to hide what he was really like (a jerk to others) because he was always playing the part of a good guy when I was around. I'll never do long distance again.
As they say though, your mileage may vary.
I agree...as a woman, I could go 10 years younger. 20 years...that would sure be a stretch.
Not sure this applies as it's not as large an age difference as the example and the genders are reversed, but if we're talking that giant an age difference, I guess that would be my no, either way....I can't imagine dating a guy 20 years older either, that would be my father's age. I know I should be open minded but I just don't think I could get past that, it would turn me off. To each his or her own on that score, though.
But I did do an LDR and in fact, have been married to him for 14 years. That's not because I had a choice between him and an old dude, though, so I kind of find the poll silly.
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