I Feel Like It's A Backhanded Compliment Being Called "Husband Material" By Women? (Asian, marriage)

[1xolisiwe]

If it's any consolation OP, I still consider guys who "got around" & were previously bad boys etc, as very good husband material if they have managed to get their lives in order. Chances are if I found a guy boring back then & he has made absolutely no changes since then, I would still find him boring now, so I wouldn't date him!

You have a choice to either become the person you want to be, or to become bitter & find slights where none are meant.

[CSD610]

Originally Posted by Auraliea

What's the problem?
How is that an insult?
You're thinking too far into it. Live your life and quit worrying about what others say.

The problem is it is usually considered an insult when men refer to women as *wife material* so it should be the same when a man is referred to as
*husband material*.
There are more than one thread on this forum that show this.

[JerZ]

Originally Posted by CSD610

The problem is it is usually considered an insult when men refer to women as *wife material* so it should be the same when a man is referred to as
*husband material*.
There are more than one thread on this forum that show this.

It is? I wouldn't be insulted of a man thought of me as wife material. I mean what's the alternative, "She's pretty much just good for a pop"?

[MIKEETC]

Originally Posted by roninmedia

I am about to turn 30 later this year. I was definitely not the party type during college as I didn't drink and smoke and with graduate school pretty much did not finish until 27. Add being an introvert to that and my relationships have been sparse.

I currently work in a corporate environment. For the most part, the people in my department/company are at least 10 years older than me. And I occasionally hear from some of the older women in my workplace, some of whom are actually single or have never been married, that I'm good "husband material". Same goes for the girls my age I know outside work.

• Financially stable
• Squeaky clean background
• Good career
• Able to handle most domestic duties that older generations attributed to women

I may say that the whole issue is the dichotomy of being from an Asian background (Chinese/Vietnamese) where dating/relationships were not necessarily about love at first sight/instant mutual attraction versus how it's portrayed by Hollywood and media. So it creates a divide between what is husband and boyfriend material.

So I am finding it at best a backhanded compliment at best when I hear about "husband material" and I compare to the sparseness of my dating life and realize I may be the type of guy that a girl's mother likes more than the girl .

Based on this post, you seem like good husband material.

[shrug]

[Chowhound]

You can call me Larry, you can call my Garry, you can call me a good husband, but just don't call me late for dinner.










Edit: .. corny joke, I get it...

[HappyRain]

Originally Posted by JerZ

It is? I wouldn't be insulted of a man thought of me as wife material. I mean what's the alternative, "She's pretty much just good for a pop"?

I struggle with that myself. It's like the Ginger vs. Marry Ann thing.

The former is seen the hot one whom men would lust over and throw themselves to. A fling. The latter is the less hot, wife material.

On the one hand, it's good to be taken seriously as a companion. On the other, I would wanna be hot, rather than "cute" lol

[TristramShandy]

Originally Posted by JerZ

It is? I wouldn't be insulted of a man thought of me as wife material. I mean what's the alternative, "She's pretty much just good for a pop"?

Absolutely. "Wife material" is something I would have said about a woman that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. How can that be bad?

[TristramShandy]

Originally Posted by VanillaChocolate

I struggle with that myself. It's like the Ginger vs. Marry Ann thing.

The former is seen the hot one whom men would lust over and throw themselves to. A fling. The latter is the less hot, wife material.

On the one hand, it's good to be taken seriously as a companion. On the other, I would wanna be hot, rather than "cute" lol

I don't know. Hot fades most of the time while cute remains most of the time.

A woman who is mostly cute but can turn on the hot when necessary is the best you can get.

[Bayesian]

Never mind, you are overthinking.

To me, there are only two kinds of women, women who want to date me and women who don't want to date me.

I'll ignore the women who don't want to date me.

Among the women who want to date me, there are also two categories, the women I want to date and the women I don't want to date.

If they call you husband material but they don't want to date you, ignore them, they are insincere. Otherwise, try to date the attractive ones.

The algorithm couldn't be simpler. Two if-else loops can do all the work.

[Londoncowboy30]

It's a great compliment mate

How can that be backhanded?