Quote:
Originally Posted by BadnessHappens
A lot of people will describe their first love as "magical". It overwhelms you with feelings.
But after that first breakup, are you always guarded to some degree and are you less likely to give your all like you did that first one? Do the feelings become less "magical"?
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I'm going to answer your question.
After we mature and gain experience in life, we are always better informed.
But, love is a funny thing. Some people start out wary of it from the beginning and stay wary of it. They are hard to get close to. Others go in head over heels and keep repeating that pattern all their lives. They're in love with being in love, I suppose.
Everyone else is somewhere in between.
You, OP (and your many incarnations) are terrified of a genuine relationship. You fear rejection. You fear failure.
That is why you keep chasing this "first love and no previous loves" situation. You figure your chances of success go way up if you can find a young girl who'll fixate on you and who knows nothing about love and relationships.
But, even if you find this ideal girl, the odds are astronomically high that the relationship will not last. First loves rarely become lifelong relationships.
You need to tell your therapist about how you keep creating thread after thread on this topic. Why are you doing this? Nobody here is ever going to agree that an adult male needs to find an underage girl to deflower and obsess over so he can live out some unrealistic first love/puppy love scenario that he thinks he missed.
You're an adult, but you are a young adult. Find another young adult and have an adult relationship after you get your obsessive thoughts under control.
Stop recreating the same thread over and over. It's not helping you shake your delusions.
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