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Does your girlfriend understand your autism and know how to deal with it? It seems that she is always getting mad at you for things you do that are part of your disorder. I am concerned that she doesn't have the patience that partner of a person on the spectrum needs.
If you have the same circle of friends then I'm not at all surprised she got the hump about you discussing private things or that doesn't exactly flatter her.
I discussed some relationship problems with a couple of close friends, to use them as a sounding board, but my gf says I made her look bad and now my friends do not think highly of her anymore. She says that I discussed matters that were not their business and have overstepped their boundaries.
But I was wondering, is it really so wrong to do that? I mean if you cannot get opinions and assessment from friends, where can you get advice from? I mean there are people on online forums too and that's good, but is getting friends opinions who know me and the situation, really inappropriate or overstepping boundaries, when it comes to relationship social rules?
I only discuss things of this nature with friends who are able to leave my problems to me and not make it their mission to "fix" or judge me or my SO. I'm closest to my sister and I do not discuss anything with her in regards to my relationship. I do have friends who will listen, give sound advise and still be civil and friendly to my SO. If they have personal opinions about my SO or our relationship they keep it themselves.
My answer is yes it's ok to talk with certain friends. BTW the I never told my SO when I spoke with my friends. It would have only created a larger problem. Too late for that though.
I advocate keeping relationship issues between the two people in that relationship.
Telling other people your issues can cause even more issues mainly because: It's not only YOUR business you're telling but the other person's as well, they only get one side of the story which can distort advice or their responses, and it could easily be spread to other people. Two mature adults in a relationship should be able to work out their problems themselves. If you absolutely HAVE to discuss it with another person, talk to a professional. Someone who will MOST likely give you unbiased advice.
Except for light stuff, I think relationship stuff should stay in the relationship.
The other exceptions include abuse and any mutually agreed-upon people that are okay to talk to.
I absolutely agree with this.
I personally could not imagine being with someone where I had to temper what I did or said, knowing that he'd not keep things between us. Talking with friends about the details of our relationship? Absolute no-go.
I personally could not imagine being with someone where I had to temper what I did or said, knowing that he'd not keep things between us. Talking with friends about the details of our relationship? Absolute no-go.
Why are you doing or saying things that you don'twant others to know about?
It sends up a flag to me when people say they don't want their SO'S talking about them to other people. Abusers use that tactic.
Why are you doing or saying things that you don'twant others to know about?
It sends up a flag to me when people say they don't want their SO'S talking about them to other people. Abusers use that tactic.
It's not just talking about their spouse to other people. You've never been talking to someone who's blabbed intimate details of their sex life or aired their dirty laundry about their spouse/SO? Things that maybe that person would find embarrassing or inappropriate to be up for discussion ? Some things are private. Some things should be kept between the couple.
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