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Has any of this been documented or reported to police?
Because if you leave, you should try to get full custody.
If you read between the lines you can tell he doesn'twant custody of the kids. He'd been unhappy in marriage for quite some time but still decided late in the marriage to have a couple of kids. Why? Who knows? Now, he wants to bail. Not exactly a Prince Charming in my opinion.
Normally I would say that it is better to stay for your kids if you don't absolutely detest your wife, there is no abuse of any kind and you don't fight constantly. Breaking up the household, dividing property and assets, selling of childhood home is touch for the kids. However, your kids are so small now that they could forget things quickly and adjust to a new situation. On the other hand, you have a 15 months old that I assume requires constant care. How is your wife going to cope with that with you not around?
I did not read through the entire thread so maybe this was already mentioned... But do you have financial means to support your kids wife and still have a decent life style for yourself? For a man who lives on a salary, child support for two kids and possibly alimony for a woman would usually mean a life of near poverty. If you don't have large savings, will you be OK living in a studio apartment after living in a house?
First you say you don't want to "abandon" your kids. Then you say you don't want 50/50 custody because that would be "taking them away from their mom."
You thoughts are all over the place. See a counselor and an attorney. Stop dithering.
The final straw for me was that we were out with a bunch of friends. All was going great or so I thought until she beat up a girl that was actually in our group because she thought we have something going on. Physically assaulted the girl.
And the answer is no. I have nothing going on with this girl. I don't even know her last name. I don't have her phone number. Nothing. I have never talked to the girl except for casual talk when she is with our( well actually her group cause all of these people I met through her) group. The only time I even talked to,the girl that night was when I and 2 other guys went out for a smoke and she came out with us.
This is going to be long so if you don't have the stomach for it, please don't go any further.
I'm 46. My wife is almost 34. We have two children 2 1/2 and 15 months. I've been unhappy for a long time. My wife is just innately not a person I like as a partner.
She is a great mother. I would give her a 9.5 out of 10 as a mother. But as a person/partner for me I would give her a 3. I'm not saying she is a bad person, she doesn't abuse me, cheat( as far as I know) on me, etc. she just possesses qualities in her that are deal breakers for me.
We've been together for 13 years married for almost 10. Why did I marry her? I admit my fault. I thought she was young and she would change. I take full responsibility for me marrying her.
We don't fight much maybe 1-2 month but when we do fight, for me, it's like ww3. She's just not the person for me and some of her character, I totally despise. I think we I stayed for so long because like I said, we don't fight much but when we do, I see characteristics in her that is a complete deal breaker for me.
I've tried to leave her before but she would not accept it and say I'm just mad.
I'm weak I'm the sense that if she doesn't let me go, I don't go cause I don't want to hurt her really.
A few months ago, she did something that was the final straw for me. I told her I was done with but I would stay for the sake of the kids. My boys are my life. Since then, we've fought a few times. The last time, I didn't like seeing my boys frightened face when we fight so I told her I'm leaving. She said if I wanted to be a coward and not try to work it out, then fine, leave but then I'll have to tell everyone. Again, I'm weak. Today, we had it out again and this time I told her to pack up and go live with her parents with the boys. I would never take the boys away from their mother. She said if I want to leave, then I should pack up. I did. I just hate seeing my frightened boys face when we fight.
I'm thinking they are really young now. I was willing to sacrifice my own happiness for their sake but now thinking about it, another almost 18 years of this?
I'm thinking they are so young, it wouldn't affect them at all if I did it now.
I will always be in my boys life no matter what. I will always support them.
Am I being selfish to want to leave?
Please be as blunt as you want.
If she doesn't "let" you go? Seriously? How is this possible. You pack your sh*t and leave!
Why would you make an announcement to "everyone" that you are leaving? Just leave! If "everyone" wonders why, tell them the truth.
Your kids are young enough that they will not be emotionally affected. Financially affected doubtful too as you will pay child support till they are grown. This will be a BIG number if she doesn't work or you make considerably more than her.
Making the decision to end a bad marriage is not selfish in my opinion. It would be more selfish to let her bully you into staying for "show" and letting those kids watch you two fight.
If your wife is violent with her friends, could she be violent with her children? The angriest I have ever been was with my own offspring, but I have no history of violence so they were safe.
If you read between the lines you can tell he doesn'twant custody of the kids. He'd been unhappy in marriage for quite some time but still decided late in the marriage to have a couple of kids. Why? Who knows? Now, he wants to bail. Not exactly a Prince Charming in my opinion.
I'm thinking they are so young, it wouldn't affect them at all if I did it now.
There is no difference it will affect the child. young or adult when it comes to marriage end kids think it is their fault.
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I will always be in my boys life no matter what. I will always support them.
That is what my ex said before the divorce now he is no where to find and 7 years alimony is not paid either. But mine is a girl. But no difference child is a child.
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Am I being selfish to want to leave?
Well if you did not do anything to fix the issues yes you are.
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I see characteristics in her that is a complete deal breaker for me.
What did you do regarding that? Nothing I guess
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I thought she was young and she would change.
Did you let her know already what need to be changed? No I guess
What I can say fighting and living in a tasteless marriage is worst for kids than going to a divorce. Well I have the feeling you are just bluffing as leaving, my ex bluffed 9 years "I am leaving "" there is the door pack your stuff and go" at the end I filled the divorce.
If you wanted to leave you already left but you doubt. Clear your head think what you want.
your wife is correct you are just MAD
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