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Not really dating but FWB. Before my boyfriend and I started dating that might eventually become exclusive, his roommate and I had an on & off fling that lasted over a year. I broke things off with him before my BF n I started dating. Does he have the right to know? When telling each other our past with others we have been with, I didn't mention him. His roommate wants our fling to be kept secret. Him and my boyfriend have known each other forever
damn this is a prime example of ****ting where you eat. In this case, I am a proponent for telling him the truth because he may find out sooner than later. Idk how male ego works fully but something tells me this isn't exactly a guy's cup of tea.
Seriously, you goofed. You should have immediately told this new guy the second you realized it.
Tell him now but be prepared to be dumped. But better now than if you were to get into permanent relationship territory.
If you think the former fwb won't ever tell, you are naive.
Agreed in telling him but I don't see why he would dump her?
It's happened before they got together... The only thing I can see being the problem is him knowing that his friend has slept with her before but that only shows his insecurity more than anything should it be a problem.
What good is it going to do to tell her BF she has slept with his room mate?
It's only going to cause tension, jealousy, and conflict. What the man doesn't know won't hurt him.
IF he finds out by the other guy saying something, she can simply let him know she didn't tell him for those reasons.
If they're looking to get married or something, than yep maybe with the time is right she can tell him.
The problem with the bolded is most guys will be a lot more pissed finding out from the roommate than from her earlier on. "simply telling him she didn't tell him for those reasons" isn't gonna fly.
The longer you wait the worse it's going to be. Somehow, in one way or another, it's going to get out. Maybe not from the roommate, maybe just from someone who doesn't know the situation but knew you had a fling. It doesn't matter.
Telling him show's honesty and maturity. You have to tell him and reassure him that's in the past; and than bury the subject once it's done. You don't owe this roommate anything and I can't think of a reason why the roommate would want to keep it secret...seem's off to me.
Personally, I would feel incredibly betrayed if my own girlfriend had a year long fling with my roommate and proceeded to never tell me. Especially if you all hang out together. Finding this out from somewhere else would be means for me to breakup. Honesty about your past would be the opposite and an attractive quality.
Also, guys talk. Remember that.
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