Should I be concerned with text messages? (girlfriend, women, husband)

[reds37win]

As I can agree with much of what rego00123 has offered, I would imagine this is a cover.

Even if it isn't, I would be very tempted to take the chance and talk to your wife's sister. Yes, she may be aware they are texting, but does she realize the content and the fact they are texting at 2am?

Progress/healing can't begin until the problem is fully exposed. I would fully expect your wife and her BIL to be more than a little defensive.

[Booshy]

Originally Posted by Just One of the Guys

Have you considered bringing the explicit texting up to your wife's sister? I wonder how funny she thinks this joke is???

Definately considered it. As I said in a previous response, I have other concerns to be aware of IF I am wrong.

[Booshy]

Originally Posted by carnivalday

In the respect that people talking/texting that way are doing it for a reason. How many girls do you talk/text to like that?

none

[Just One of the Guys]

Originally Posted by Booshy

My wife says - her sister knows about the texts and is okay with them as they are jokes. I do not know if this is true or a cover. IF I ask my sister in law it may turn out to be true that she is aware and condones these messages. I am now left with a pissed off sister in law thinking how I could imagine that the messages are anything but. OR she is in my position with some serious doubts about her marriage.

Bring it up to your SIL in a joking manner since they were only joking.

[Booshy]

Originally Posted by Just One of the Guys

Bring it up to your SIL in a joking manner since they were only joking.

Good idea.

[oh-eve]

Really? I don't see any jokes here.


I would have called the sister immediately.

[Booshy]

Originally Posted by oh-eve

Really? I don't see any jokes here.


I would have called the sister immediately.

I figured speaking to my wife was the first step. I am going to talk to my sister in law.

[corgifreak]

Yes, I think you should be concerned. Even if it's just text messages, they are inappropriate. Three years of such "jokes" would get mighty tiresome, and if they really were jokes, as your wife says, why hasn't she been sharing them with you?

[picklejuice]

Originally Posted by Wmsn4Life

It's not THAT much of a mystery, y'all.

He goes to check the calendar because, as many people have bragged about here, some spouses have NO problems with their spouse seeing their phone.

Then a text pops up, or the info he was looking for was not on the calendar so he sees if it's in a text she sent him, only to see ... hmmm ... a text from BIL.

Once you see one text that mentions "liking the c**k," of course you're gonna scroll through them all. At least the people who admit they are human would.

Stop acting as if he opened the ark of the covenant.

I agree...either she's having an affair and is too stupid to delete the incriminating texts, or she's having an affair and doesn't care if he finds out because she thinks she can convince him she's joking.

"Ark" comment hilarious!

The above is spot on. The whole "C" comment brought up a whole row of red flags on the phallic pole.

[RelocatedIn2014]

Originally Posted by Booshy

I figured speaking to my wife was the first step. I am going to talk to my sister in law.

I have a couple of questions/thought processes.

1. Does your wife communicating with anyone in the manner surprise you ? Has she eve texted you like this ?
If this isnt a surprise to you, and she has texted you in thisway, was this typcially a prelude to some fun ? Or does she flirt like this and nothing becomes of it.

2. Are you aware at all that your wife is sexual in this way ?

If the answer to both questions is no, you have serious problems.
If the answer to 1 is no but yes to 2, then maybe she is flirting.
If the answer to 1 is yes but no to 2, then you still have a big problem.

For me, i would like to think that the woman i am engaged to would know that this kind of behavior is a deal breaker. There is no way I could handle such behavior. For me, that kind of convo is strictly for me and the woman I am exclusive with.

I know ofher people perhaps would totally be ok with that, with different sexual lifestyles and personalities and all. But I am not emotionally or menatally capable of sharing that side of the woman I am exclusive with.

I honestly don't know what I would do if I were you. Before I did anything, I would probably think about it hard for a few days.
Hopefully its all a big joke and no harm no foul.