Guys: for each reply you get how many messages do you send ? (Asian, girls)

[Dport7674]

Originally Posted by 49ersfan27

I've never used online dating because I found it to be a waste of time. But from what many men have told me you need thick skin because you'll be ignored and rejected a lot.

You "found it to be a waste" of time, but have never tried it. Lol. There's a lie in there somewhere.

[Dport7674]

Originally Posted by Mikelee81

I'm at around a 2-5% response rate lol. Ouch..

Here are some of my actual sent messages..

"Hi Lizzy you seem like a sweet person. I'm in ____ not too far away. I'm a Pittsburgh fan as well. A big Steelers fan here.

I'm into gardening as well. I'm trying out melons this year. So I have a lot of watermelon and cantaloupe. The rain we got recently really has helped them out.

It seems like we'd have a good bit in common actually. I'm love taking road trips, love dogs although I don't have any, enjoy doing a lot of what you listed.. even play the drums a bit

So what did you get your master's degree in? Are you from the _________ area originally?

Hope to hear back from you."


[i]"____ has some nice areas. I attended college up there a little while ago at Penn State. I just did some hiking and swam at _______ yesterday. Nice little area. Do you go out there much at all? Maybe you'd let me grill some good food for sometime. I'd be nice to hear about your job as an ultrasound tech.

I'm not too far away in ______. I99 makes it a quick trip up there.".

You're asking 27 questions to a complete stranger. Seems like they'd be overwhelmed.

I have great luck on pof but I treat it like meh whatever. It works. Believe me or not I've never actually sent the first message. But I write some stupid shiit in my profile that makes them want to ask questions I guess.

I like motorcycles and black women who dig punk rock music.

Or

I like mean girls.

Or

If you're not a redhead I probably won't mess with you.

And that's it. One of those lines is my entire profile. I don't even like redheads but I'll get 10 playful messages from brunettes and blondes telling me why they do it better. Or 10 white women asking me why I "only" date black women, which has never been true about me... Being vague and tongue in cheek works like a charm.

[seixal]

I think it's important not to take "rejection" too personally. Most girls, even the marginally attractive ones, receive tons of messages each day and it's next to impossible to keep up with everyone. Furthermore, some girls have no real intentions of actually meeting people, I suspect quite some are just on it to see how many messages they get and use it as ego boost therapy.

[timberline742]

Originally Posted by Amontillado

You can "cast a wide net" or you can figure out a profile, or a message, that will attract just one person, and that one is the right one. I did that, and we're married. My question to the wonderful Timberline is how come he's still doing this stuff?

Well I'm not doing it right now. But when I'm looking, why wouldn't I? Its efficient and I meet pretty great people.

[Bearsdad]

Pretty much 10 messages sent one reply. That was on match.com. Crazy enough a lot of the dates I got had nothing to do with looks, but they loved how tall I was for some reason. Never got that.

[weezerfan84]

Originally Posted by Dport7674

You're asking 27 questions to a complete stranger. Seems like they'd be overwhelmed.

I have great luck on pof but I treat it like meh whatever. It works. Believe me or not I've never actually sent the first message. But I write some stupid shiit in my profile that makes them want to ask questions I guess.

I like motorcycles and black women who dig punk rock music.

Or

I like mean girls.

Or

If you're not a redhead I probably won't mess with you.

And that's it. One of those lines is my entire profile. I don't even like redheads but I'll get 10 playful messages from brunettes and blondes telling me why they do it better. Or 10 white women asking me why I "only" date black women, which has never been true about me... Being vague and tongue in cheek works like a charm.

I really don't know. It seems like online dating has really dumbed down the culture of actually getting to know someone. If I'm expected to get to know someone by a sentence and one word replies, then I'm just not intrigued enough by them, so they can be overwhelmed as they want to be by me.


I'm a big get to know you kind of person. I've met women who kept to dating men who were slick on their responses; however, the men never had any substance. The women spent more time chasing around the man, because they felt that they could change them into the man they wanted them to be.


If you're getting someone's attention with one word responses, then that person isn't attracted to your spoken word, they're attracted to how you look.


I listened to a podcast a year ago on online dating and they brought in an attractive woman to talk about her experience. She stated at one point that she responded to a message by just banging her head on the keyboard and hitting send. She got a response of the guy still fishing to get to know her. She sent him absolute jibberish and he was still interested. Her spoken word had little to no importance on her online dating results.


I'm not a very attractive guy, so I do rely more heavily on spoken word chemistry than just physical chemistry. Looks matter as well, but I want to have witty banter with someone. One word replies definitely get under my skin, because it leaves no opening for continued communication. Whether that be through a dating site service or when you exchange numbers are embark on texting.

[Dport7674]

Originally Posted by weezerfan84

I really don't know. It seems like online dating has really dumbed down the culture of actually getting to know someone. If I'm expected to get to know someone by a sentence and one word replies, then I'm just not intrigued enough by them, so they can be overwhelmed as they want to be by me.


I'm a big get to know you kind of person. I've met women who kept to dating men who were slick on their responses; however, the men never had any substance. The women spent more time chasing around the man, because they felt that they could change them into the man they wanted them to be.


If you're getting someone's attention with one word responses, then that person isn't attracted to your spoken word, they're attracted to how you look.


I listened to a podcast a year ago on online dating and they brought in an attractive woman to talk about her experience. She stated at one point that she responded to a message by just banging her head on the keyboard and hitting send. She got a response of the guy still fishing to get to know her. She sent him absolute jibberish and he was still interested. Her spoken word had little to no importance on her online dating results.


I'm not a very attractive guy, so I do rely more heavily on spoken word chemistry than just physical chemistry. Looks matter as well, but I want to have witty banter with someone. One word replies definitely get under my skin, because it leaves no opening for continued communication. Whether that be through a dating site service or when you exchange numbers are embark on texting.

I'm not trying to get to know a woman using pof's messenger. I'm trying to get noticed. The getting to know her comes on the first few dates. (Which should never be a dinner date btw, but that's a different thread.)

[Dport7674]

Also it's never one word responses. It turns into a conversation. But even then I don't ask too many generic personal questions. It's usually a flirty, teasing kind of conversation.

[The Illusive Man]

Originally Posted by Metaphysique

Did you use OKC? This wouldn't have worked on me unless we were a high match and appeared fairly compatible. While I exchanged messages for fun interaction, it often didn't go beyond this if we were incompatible or I wasn't feeling the vibe. These sort of messages did nothing to demonstrate the guy actually read my profile. In the early days I would have played along for fun if we seemed to match in certain areas, but after the casual period, no-go.

But I get why this would work for many.

I use OKC and I've success on there but I agree, it wasn't as easy as other sites. I prefer format of POF more but I've met some interesting chicks from OKC. The match system makes it more difficult as women pay attention more, so I've made it a challenge to try to nab some low % women with varying results. Haha.

[SUPbud]

I used to keep pretty tight stats on this metric, but what a useless metric! Having a DATE IN REAL LIFE trumps all.

some data that was lost: I DELETE msgs automatically from:

a) hooker spam, invitations to other websites, one word msgs from other states. I only want someone local, and I never travel domestically.
b) If I receive a polite msg from a foreign/offshore acct (russia/philipines/thai seems to like me) I will send a polite turndown msg back, and that is the natural organic end to our convo.
c) If I receive a msg from some woman who does not make my cut, or I find repulsive in some way, I will delete their msg from my inbox. Because I think that's depressing to see their face in my inbox and be reminded of my failure to attract a Jessica Alba or Ariana Grande.

TOTAL INCOMING MSGS FROM GIRLS I WOULD DATE: 8
note that's 8 different girls, who average/range from "1" to "10" replies back and forth


from counting my SENT/OUTGOING box:

18 in July
19 in June
15 in May
5 in March
3 in Feb
2 in Jan

TOTAL OUTGOING MSGS I SENT FROM JULY 26 2016 to JAN 1 2016: 62

8/62 = approx 13% response rate of profiles I liked, tried to initiate contact, succeeded in having some msg play back and forth.
The per-msg response rate is not so interesting, and I've lost/deleted data
This is ONLY for 2016 to date. I am excluding prior years.

I have NOT had a single date in real life from online dating this calendar year. But don't cry for me Argentina - I'm having very good luck in real life, in Meatspace, outside in the fresh air and sunshine.