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My curiosity is piqued. It's not a cliche or trite message, is it? A silly pickup line? I wonder how a template used in this manner would work so effectively, unless your goal is to cast a wide net and hope any will take the bite, even if they're not good matches
Canned messages demonstrated the individual didn't really read my profile, and this set the tone for all exchanges. Either I didn't return a response, or the exchange fizzled.
Uhh let me get you up to speed dear and tell you the truth. Sending canned messages to 50 women a night is what a lot of men do online that's why some women have an inbox of 100 messages most of them are canned messages. I wager a number of the men that claim mass success through online dating are using the template canned message strategy they just never admit it.
That's just another reason why men such as myself get lost and overlooked I only message like a couple of women a night, if that even. So let's say my response rate is only like 1 in 30 it takes me over two weeks just to get one little reply...and since I don't send canned template messages, and I'm selective who I message it's very time consuming for someone like me. Women think OLD is hard for them. LOL they have noo idea.
It's very simple. Only about three sentences long. In just three sentences, I ask them how they are, tell them I'd like to get to know them more. In the second sentence and third I hit them with a bit of confidence. I tell them if they go out with me, I guarantee they will go home with the biggest smile.
As cheesy at it may sound, the way the message is set up engages them. They becomes curious with the guarantee. They almost always say: "How can you guarantee that?" or "why will I have the biggest smile?" and different variations of that. Then I just hit them with my follow up messages and very shortly I'll have their phone number.
Yes, my goal is cast a wide net, which is why the method works perfectly.
I'll admit it, I would have responded. I would have said,"sounds like a challenge. Bring it on!"
I know I'm not a guy, but all the men from OLD that I actually went out with including my now current boyfriend, I messaged first. Most men did exactly what you said not to. Just "hi" or other versions that were one or two words. At first I responded but it got to be too much and even when I responded to the simple "hi" most times these men who contacted me first wouldn't respond back. So I stopped bothering.
Now men who wrote like you did, I'd respond to. But I don't recall any messages like your except from men way out of my age range. But I always responded to them too. Figured it would be rude not to. Most took my turn down nicely too I might add. Only one was rude about it.
This is for guys using online dating websites : what sent out messages/replies ratio do you get?
Circa hundreds, usually to get maybe one reply (if I'm lucky) that's either a few words or an exchange that doesn't go anywhere. I can't follow The Two Rules though.
Last edited by Mr_Polymath; 07-25-2016 at 07:13 PM..
I don't really get responses, because I rarely send messages. I have an enticing profile, and waited for interested women to write me. Early on, I'd send messages, but the response rate was so low, I stopped - and got far better results.
While I concur a witty, well thought out first message is important to get your foot on the door, however I doubt it weights no where near as much as a picture in a girl's decision whether to reply or not.
While I concur a witty, well thought out first message is important to get your foot on the door, however I doubt it weights no where near as much as a picture in a girl's decision whether to reply or not.
It's very simple. Only about three sentences long. In just three sentences, I ask them how they are, tell them I'd like to get to know them more. In the second sentence and third I hit them with a bit of confidence. I tell them if they go out with me, I guarantee they will go home with the biggest smile.
As cheesy at it may sound, the way the message is set up engages them. They becomes curious with the guarantee. They almost always say: "How can you guarantee that?" or "why will I have the biggest smile?" and different variations of that. Then I just hit them with my follow up messages and very shortly I'll have their phone number.
Yes, my goal is cast a wide net, which is why the method works perfectly.
Did you use OKC? This wouldn't have worked on me unless we were a high match and appeared fairly compatible. While I exchanged messages for fun interaction, it often didn't go beyond this if we were incompatible or I wasn't feeling the vibe. These sort of messages did nothing to demonstrate the guy actually read my profile. In the early days I would have played along for fun if we seemed to match in certain areas, but after the casual period, no-go.
But I get why this would work for many.
Quote:
Originally Posted by wanderlust76
Uhh let me get you up to speed dear and tell you the truth.
Oh, I'm not under any sort of delusion about the online dating experience for many men. I know many have to send dozens, hundreds, of messages just to receive one or a few, and even the top men will experience more struggle than the top women.
I'm just saying, I knew a canned message when I saw one, and though they didn't do much to pique genuine interest, I understood the reasons for this approach. The first man I dated more seriously just sent a "Hey! How's it going?"
I normally ignored these sort of messages because I received so many, but he had a great profile, and we were a really good match. He said he wrote a more detailed message, but deleted it because he didn't think I'd respond due to the "replies very selectively" feature (not sure if this is still a thing?) on my profile. So in his case, and others like him, I can see why he didn't want to bother with sending a message if he assumed I wouldn't respond. His profile delivered, so that's what made the difference, otherwise, I wouldn't have responded.
Quote:
Sending canned messages to 50 women a night is what a lot of men do online that's why some women have an inbox of 100 messages most of them are canned messages. I wager a number of the men that claim mass success through online dating are using the template canned message strategy they just never admit it.
The "cast a wide net" approach wasn't really my thing, and I think focusing on a target audience can yield better results when the individual knows how to attract this audience. That way you're not sending out dozens of messages hoping mostly non-matches will respond. Most of those women/men won't be a match, but if you craft a profile, a narrative, to attract a certain type, and focus on that type, you may have a better return on messages. Like Timberline said.
Quote:
That's just another reason why men such as myself get lost and overlooked I only message like a couple of women a night, if that even. So let's say my response rate is only like 1 in 30 it takes me over two weeks just to get one little reply...and since I don't send canned template messages, and I'm selective who I message it's very time consuming for someone like me. Women think OLD is hard for them. LOL they have noo idea.
Nah. It wasn't difficult for me. Frustrating at times, but definitely not hard or fruitless. I've never argued that I had it hard, only that there are women who do have a difficult time with online dating, for a variety of reasons.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,937 posts, read 36,951,955 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TaoistDude
I don't really get responses, because I rarely send messages. I have an enticing profile, and waited for interested women to write me. Early on, I'd send messages, but the response rate was so low, I stopped - and got far better results.
I really think this is the best way to go for most people.
You can "cast a wide net" or you can figure out a profile, or a message, that will attract just one person, and that one is the right one. I did that, and we're married. My question to the wonderful Timberline is how come he's still doing this stuff?
"Hi Lizzy you seem like a sweet person. I'm in ____ not too far away. I'm a Pittsburgh fan as well. A big Steelers fan here.
I'm into gardening as well. I'm trying out melons this year. So I have a lot of watermelon and cantaloupe. The rain we got recently really has helped them out.
It seems like we'd have a good bit in common actually. I'm love taking road trips, love dogs although I don't have any, enjoy doing a lot of what you listed.. even play the drums a bit
So what did you get your master's degree in? Are you from the _________ area originally?
Hope to hear back from you."
"____ has some nice areas. I attended college up there a little while ago at Penn State. I just did some hiking and swam at _______ yesterday. Nice little area. Do you go out there much at all? Maybe you'd let me grill some good food for sometime. I'd be nice to hear about your job as an ultrasound tech.
I'm not too far away in ______. I99 makes it a quick trip up there."
So they aren't the prototype "Hi" messages. I did manage to land a date off someone that actually messaged me first. We had a good time, went out for a bite to eat, went hiking and swimming a bit. I didn't find her attractive really but she was very nice. So I made sure she had a good time.
Not sure why the response rate is so low, but it's been like this in the Urban setting as well as the more rural setting I'm in now.
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I'd be nice to hear about your job as an ultrasound tech. 
