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I would love to hear from the folks here,,especially the women on this one...
I do not want to go into the details of the breakup. but I will say this, I am 49 and she is 47, we have been together since March of 2014. I asked her to marry me in March of 2015 and all was great. Then thru my secrew ups, my income vanished, and I just flaked out on her and failed to make the wedding happen.
and we physically seperated in november when she asked me to move out.
Ok, fast forward to now. I have a new job and I am doing great. She is giving me another chance! well it is like my 18th chance.
So she says she wants to go slow. Like we are starting all over again. HELP! what does that mean. we were living together, sleeping together every night, eating dinner together every night, etc....
so what now? do I ask to see her? how often to talk? do a date per week? what about flowers and stuff?
help! i need some advice. My go to default is to want it all 100% right now. That will only push her away.
She is rightfully skittish. Getting engaged after only one year is way too soon. As you both found out, things happened that proved the two of you still do not know each other that well.
The main person to ask in terms of what taking is slowly means is her. She is the only one who can tell you what her expectations around this are.
She probably needs quite a bit of time to trust you again.
I would love to hear from the folks here,,especially the women on this one...
I do not want to go into the details of the breakup. but I will say this, I am 49 and she is 47, we have been together since March of 2014. I asked her to marry me in March of 2015 and all was great. Then thru my secrew ups, my income vanished, and I just flaked out on her and failed to make the wedding happen.
and we physically seperated in november when she asked me to move out.
Ok, fast forward to now. I have a new job and I am doing great. She is giving me another chance! well it is like my 18th chance.
So she says she wants to go slow. Like we are starting all over again. HELP! what does that mean. we were living together, sleeping together every night, eating dinner together every night, etc....
so what now? do I ask to see her? how often to talk? do a date per week? what about flowers and stuff?
help! i need some advice. My go to default is to want it all 100% right now. That will only push her away.
Personally at first I'd ask to see her all the time, ring her, text her anything! That shows I'm making the effort especially as I messed up
Then depending on how she responds ( the volume of contact back and the time she wants to see you etc ) that will then dictate how I proceed with her....... In other words go at her own pace
She's only doing this to protect herself from getting hurt or whatever else you've done in the past.... The very best way to make things progress is to keep making the effort and going out of your way to see her but work around her schedule and what she wants...
The more and more she sees of you will increase her trust and will bring it back to how it was mate
I told her yesterday that I would marry her tomorrow! any time... immediately. She knows how badly I want that.
She still has the dress, and the ring. I am dying to give her the fairytale she dreams of. I would have us living togehter asap, but I must slow down. She is clear on that. the other posters are right. Take it at her speed, around her schedule.
I told her yesterday that I would marry her tomorrow! any time... immediately. She knows how badly I want that.
She still has the dress, and the ring. I am dying to give her the fairytale she dreams of. I would have us living togehter asap, but I must slow down. She is clear on that. the other posters are right. Take it at her speed, around her schedule.
Absolutely
All due respect here but as you've openly said " you messed up " then you've got no choice... It's either that or the highway
sure no problemo.... as soon as she WANTS to pout back on the ring, I will set the date. BUT actually I think she will want me to proposse to her again. BUT how the heck to I know when the time is right for that?
sure no problemo.... as soon as she WANTS to pout back on the ring, I will set the date. BUT actually I think she will want me to proposse to her again. BUT how the heck to I know when the time is right for that?
Not until you are back at " 100% all in "..... And after a little while of being so
Then once the dust has settled I wouldn't at all be surprised if she brought the subject up
sure no problemo.... as soon as she wants to pout back on the ring, i will set the date. but actually i think she will want me to proposse to her again. but how the heck to i know when the time is right for that?
slow. Down.
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