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My ex was verbally abusive towards me throughout our short relationship. We lasted two months before I became sick and tired of her behaviour. She actually ended up dumping me, claiming that I neglected her (I pulled away from her because of her behaviour).
- She was looking through my entire phone, text messages etc. She even texted a platonic female friend of mine from my phone asking whether or not we had had sex.
- She told me to 'sleep alone' whenever I was out without her.
- She was demeaning towards me, my dreams, my friends and sometimes even her own friends. She was a real bully. When I pointed out her ways, she just denied, claiming she was 'just joking' and wasn't being serious. To give you an example: Whenever a friend of hers is down and seek comfort in her, she would laugh at them behind their back and makes fun of their problems. Also on a few occations, she has told me through text messaging that 'we'll never see each other again' (accompanied by a 'hahaha') and afterwards claimed that she was just joking.
- Whenever I spend time with any female friend of mine (strictly platonic) she would ask me how 'my date' went.
- We fought a lot (verbally), and I have never been fighting with anyone like that before. She told me that our fights were 'nothing' compared to the fights she had had in earlier relationships.
However she also did a lot of good things, bought me gifts, gave me compliments, invited me to meet her family etc., which makes me wonder if it was not as bad as I tend to think or whether it is just clouding her abusive tendencies.
We parted a little over a year ago. Now I just learned from a mutual friend that she is moving in together with her new boyfriend, who she has only been dating for about six months. Apparently their relationship is succesful. I feel like a complete failure for failing to make it work between us.
Does a person change her jealous, demeaning and abusive ways this easily? I could use some input. Thanks in advance.
My ex was verbally abusive towards me throughout our short relationship. We lasted two months before I became sick and tired of her behaviour. She actually ended up dumping me, claiming that I neglected her (I pulled away from her because of her behaviour).
- She was looking through my entire phone, text messages etc. She even texted a platonic female friend of mine from my phone asking whether or not we had had sex.
- She told me to 'sleep alone' whenever I was out without her.
- She was demeaning towards me, my dreams, my friends and sometimes even her own friends. She was a real bully. When I pointed out her ways, she just denied, claiming she was 'just joking' and wasn't being serious. To give you an example: Whenever a friend of hers is down and seek comfort in her, she would laugh at them behind their back and makes fun of their problems. Also on a few occations, she has told me through text messaging that 'we'll never see each other again' (accompanied by a 'hahaha') and afterwards claimed that she was just joking.
- Whenever I spend time with any female friend of mine (strictly platonic) she would ask me how 'my date' went.
- We fought a lot (verbally), and I have never been fighting with anyone like that before. She told me that our fights were 'nothing' compared to the fights she had had in earlier relationships.
However she also did a lot of good things, bought me gifts, gave me compliments, invited me to meet her family etc., which makes me wonder if it was not as bad as I tend to think or whether it is just clouding her abusive tendencies.
We parted a little over a year ago. Now I just learned from a mutual friend that she is moving in together with her new boyfriend, who she has only been dating for about six months. Apparently their relationship is succesful. I feel like a complete failure for failing to make it work between us.
Does a person change her jealous, demeaning and abusive ways this easily? I could use some input. Thanks in advance.
Behavior is a funny thing. A person can act one way with one person, and be quite different with another. We all respond differently to different behaviors. I see it over and over again. Forget about it and move on.
Or he has bigger balls and has put her in her place immediately and she doesn't try controlling him anymore and they have a completely different vibe in their relationship. Maybe she needed somebody very dominant to shut her up and be tame.
Maybe she is taking strong meds and turned into a different person.
Don't compare yourself to others, it will be never ending are rarely make you happy.
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She learned from her mistakes and mellowed out.
She wasn't ready for a relationship when you guys were together.
You & she weren't compatible and the doubts brought out the worst in her.
I wouldn't worry about it too much that she found someone else. That's a TON of drama you put up with in a short 2-month relationship. When you find the right person, it should feel easy at the beginning.
Input on what? You broke up. It's over. Leave the past where it should be, in your past, and move on.
Insanity = doing the same thing over and over, expecting different results.
Some people like to reflect after a failed relationship and learn from it and not repeat mistakes. Sometimes it isn't obvious what they do wrong and they need help. OP is reaching out to figure out if it was HIM that caused her to be a nutcase since she seems to be doing well in a relationship shortly after.
I think this is a totally normal reaction.
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