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Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 36,962,945 times
Reputation: 40635
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mishigas73
And this is precisely the attitude that precipitates issues like those in the OP.
Obviously one needs to have an intimate relationship in order to be a whole person. And those who would dare to say that they are indeed happy without a partner are certainly in denial.
Or, perhaps, the notion that an intimate relationship is some sort of "brass ring" should just be put to bed, permanently.
Of course people of all ages and types are in intimate relationships. However, who is anyone to say that others are not "fulfilled" because they have chosen not to be in that type of relationship? Those that do, in my experience, are the same ones who also try to dictate to others the types of relationships that are "acceptable" and real. They must be egalitarian, no more than a 7 year age gap, no moving in without knowing each other for less than 16 1/2 months, and of course, no marriage before the age of 32- to name just a few parameters that I've seen from the "experts".
So, yes, speak for yourself. Unless, of course, you have some credentials that would enable you to be able to speak for the rest of humanity on this particular issue.
No one said it was a brass ring. Or anything about being a "whole person". Or anything about having a partner either. Or any of the other nonsense contained in your post. Nice red herrings though.
If you want to take everything told to you that that is counter intuitive, and indeed, anything that flies in the face of reason at face value and as "their truth", that is your choice. Feel free.
Me, when I hear the 20 year old say he would live a happy, full, and fulfilling life sitting in a basement, smoking weed and playing video games for the rest of their life... you're right. I either call BS or I see it as a symptom of someone that hasn't been either exposed to the possibilities of life, or is depressed.
You can take it for gospel if you choose... since you know, they should speak for themselves.
Me, when I hear the 20 year old say he would live a happy, full, and fulfilling life sitting in a basement, smoking weed and playing video games for the rest of their life... you're right. I either call BS or I see it as a symptom of someone that hasn't been either exposed to the possibilities of life, or is depressed.
I know better than to tell you that you've missed the point of what I've said entirely.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 36,962,945 times
Reputation: 40635
Quote:
Originally Posted by mishigas73
I know better than to tell you that you've missed the point of what I've said entirely.
Keep on keepin' on.
Yeah, I haven't.
For some bizarre reason you think people can only speak for themselves and if they say they're happy and fulfilled, we should believe them and just accept it. Hey, people should be able to speak for themselves, right!?!? Who are we to question it?
Nope, I am going to be visiting home (my parents live in another country).. she lives in a third country that is a stopover between the US and where my parents live. She wants to meetup for a day and then I make a decision. I feel terribly uncomfortable with that since it's such an unknown. If I had at least 6 months together I would be better equipped to make a life decision. But then again it's either continue to date and hope for the best OR go this unpredictable route.
Dude, I would say don't do it. If you insist on meeting her, realize you are not really under any pressure to accept her, if it's a bad fit walk.
One day is way too short.
You didn't address the "conservative Catholic" issue - You OK with that? You sure?
DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES LET YOUR PARENTS STAMPEDE YOU INTO A RELATIONSHIP WITH SOMEONE WHO IS NOT REALLY COMPATIBLE!
I might be wrong, but aren't you the guy with ED? Do you think it would be fair to her to do the arranged marriage where she cannot get divorced even if it turns out you will not be having sex with her. Ever.
Oh please. This is every woman's dream come true: all the fringe benefits of marriage without the sexual obligation.
You find her boring and you have no idea if the two of you will have chemistry....... that won't work.
At least if you thought she was fun and interesting, then you have something for a relationship. Right now doesn't sound like the two of you have enough for a friendship.
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As I later figured out, the first time I married I wasn't really in love. I'd just returned from 22 months overseas as an Infantryman and I was in lust and loneliness. The marriage survived 25 years anyway and shouldn't have.
The second and last time I married it was to a friend of five years and in addition to being really in love, she made my toes curl. This one has lasted 20 years and still going strong despite the ravages of age on both of, us or perhaps because of them. We're devoted to one another.
This is what it's all about Please don't settle. You don't know how long life is with the wrong person!
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Please don't settle. You don't know how long life is with the wrong person!
