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I don't have enough money to move out on my own right now. I was starting a business with art, but now I want to look for an apartment with my brother. I would rather do that than share a room in a house with people I don't know. I also know I don't want to have kids right now. I honestly feel like my life is finally beginning after cutting the cord from him. He was holding be back from myself.. not really that supportive of stuff I was doing at times. I was depressed a lot of the time I was with him.
Get a real job and move out.
I don't think you have reached your limit yet because you rather stay with that guy and do some artsy stuff than getting a real job and renting a room with strangers.
Might be best to immediately go to a women's shelter. They will have a network of professionals there to help you help yourself, and be a safety net. This would be considerate of your brother and parents. Then get a paying job and move someplace humble. In no time, you will be on your feet. There is a wonderful book called, "If you want to walk on water , get out of the boat" (close). Your library might have it. It is very motivating. Decide what to do, be smart on how, then move forward. If you have a faith, now is the time for that to kick in. I do not know you, but will be prayerful for you. All the best.
I don't have enough money to move out on my own right now. I was starting a business with art, but now I want to look for an apartment with my brother. I would rather do that than share a room in a house with people I don't know. I also know I don't want to have kids right now. I honestly feel like my life is finally beginning after cutting the cord from him. He was holding be back from myself.. not really that supportive of stuff I was doing at times. I was depressed a lot of the time I was with him.
That's great. Keep that spirit and make things happen. Don't be ashamed to ask people for help, family, friends, women's shelter. There are lots of resources out there.
I don't think you have reached your limit yet because you rather stay with that guy and do some artsy stuff than getting a real job and renting a room with strangers.
I don't know why you even think of having kids?
I do have a "real job" I am a full time office assistant for a publishing company. Thanks for being judgemental for no reason. I am pursing art on the side obviously if I have a full time job. Thanks for all the other replies everyone.
I have been with my fiancee for nearly 6 years. Today, I have come to a point that now is probably a good time for me to leave. We are currently living together.
I believe that he is an alcoholic and I drink as well but my temperament is usually in check. There were few instances were I was out of hand, but as of late, I have been keeping myself in check from drinking too much. Last night, we were drinking and he went to bed. I was horny, so I went to the bedroom and started to kiss him. He was receptive at first and was kissing me back, then his whole demeanor changed instantly after I playfully tapped his head to get his attention after he dozed off as he told me to "Get the **** out" as he kicked me out the bedroom into the living room and he threw a cover at me....
Verbal abuse has happened since we got together. His verbal abuse towards me escalated to moment where I have slapped him before but it has been a long time since I have put my hands on him. A few months back, he was really drunk and supposedly, (I was kicking in the air) and all I remember was him pushing me really hard and my right knee popped out of place. He then dragged me with the same leg. A few weeks after that, my knee popped out at work and I had to do physical therapy. Still have issues with it though it was months ago....
He is also very controlling. Most of the time, he plays video games and never initiates doing anything together. I always have to offer the idea of doing something together and it gets old and draining being on a 1 way street in a relationship. Another thing that bothers me is that when he plays video games, he acts like I am not supposed to exist cuz anytime I talk to him while he is playing online with other people talking in a party is me being met with "be quiets" and "sushes" all the time. I basically feel invisible and only wanted when he wants something from me.
I don't want to move back home for similar reasons. I love my family, but my mother and father tend to be heavy drinkers as well. Moments when my mother would be really mean towards me for no reason because she was drunk. My parents arguing and loud music played some nights. I just don't want to be around any of this anymore and Idk where else I can go or who I can go to...
Any suggestions/advice? Thank you.
Hey, YOU said you have no money to move out and dont' want to live with strangers. I didn't attack you.
According to your first post, you both seem to be abusive to each other, you beat him, interrupt his sleep with knocking on his head, and you both are alcoholics and both get out of control. I am not mean, I am just repeating what you wrote. Why are you still initiating sex with him if he is so horrible?
Does he beat you back when you beat him and kick? I would call the police every time and get a record.
Either way, it seems like you are no good for each other and I agree with the others to get out of there asap. Maybe join AA to help with the drinking problem and get out of the cycle.
Hey, YOU said you have no money to move out and dont' want to live with strangers. I didn't attack you.
According to your first post, you both seem to be abusive to each other, you beat him, interrupt his sleep with knocking on his head, and you both are alcoholics and both get out of control. I am not mean, I am just repeating what you wrote. Why are you still initiating sex with him if he is so horrible?
Does he beat you back when you beat him and kick? I would call the police every time and get a record.
Either way, it seems like you are no good for each other and I agree with the others to get out of there asap. Maybe join AA to help with the drinking problem and get out of the cycle.
Do you know how many people have full time jobs and it is still hard for them to make ends meet? I don't want to live with strangers because I want to live with someone I trust. That should be easy to understand. I have left the situation and overall it was a toxic situation and you didn't live in my shoes. You didn't live with your lover completely ignoring you so he can play video games all night. Who demeaned you repeatedly, who mocked you if you had a disagreement, who messed up your knee to the point where it isn't the same anymore, who destroyed your personality and your self esteem to the point of actually being scared of them. At times, in a toxic relationship, being scared and wanting to stand up for ones self did cause these other incidents where I did put my hands on him. However, I don't see anything wrong with trying to get some action when I never did and I didn't "Knock his head" I tapped him to get his attention since he was kissing me back. I didn't slap him, and I didn't confront him about kicking me out. I could have if I really was soooo drunk but I did not. I kept my composure and left him alone. I stayed in the living room that night and the next morning he didn't even remember what he did...
So let me ask you this, is it ok if I playfully tapped him and he dragged me on the ground again as his recourse? Then he could say he didn't remember what he did. Is such an extreme action necessary when I wasn't trying to hurt him in the first place?
I don't need to join AA. After leaving, I have 0 desire to drink. If I was still there, I would have been drinking at this moment as we speak.
I'm confused. You complain that you can't afford to leave, but in other posts you imply that you have already left. Are you currently living with him or have you left?
I'm confused. You complain that you can't afford to leave, but in other posts you imply that you have already left. Are you currently living with him or have you left?
I already left. I am at my parent's house right now. I just have to get the rest of my stuff tomorrow with my mom and brother when I get off work. Sorry about the tense issue that made it confusing.
You should check into some inpatient rehab to get help with your alcohol addiction. Then stay clean, and you will see that your life will change for the better. You will attract different sort of men, those who will respect you, not use and abuse.
Sounds like you are making your home like your parents home.
Move out!!
Don't you have friends??
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