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Old 08-06-2016, 12:10 AM
 
1 posts, read 952 times
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So for the past 9 months I have been dating an older man. I am 29 he is 44. I know it's a big age gap but I have always liked older men and think they are usually much more mature and understanding than younger men.

We met at my old job, he was a customer that would come in and we found we could really talk and have great conversations. We started dating and I moved into his house 2 months ago. All was well and had been well at first, but I started noticing he seemed to have certain ideas about things that would be considered more old school. For example he does work hard and works long hours but he has said he thinks since I don't work or go to school (I quit my job to focus on school but dropped out due to anxiety and stress) I should be doing all the house work and I do like to cook and would quite a bit but now he will say "when I get back from work I want x for dinner" I have also noticed he doesn't put his plates or other things away.

Now I just thought since I do have all the free time it's understandable I do more of that kind of stuff but I did notice when I would come over his house was pretty dirty but I keep it clean. He is affectionate and loving when he wants to be, but I asked him once if he could vacuum while I was out getting groceries and he laughed and said "that's what women are great at" then said he was tired and going to take a nap.

Also when I asked if he could start putting his dishes in the sink and sometimes run the dishwasher he said "why? You do such a great job at it".

I understand one aspect of being with someone older is they can have different ideas about things than younger people but I was wondering if this is more him or just men in his age group?

Thanks for any advice.
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Old 08-06-2016, 12:16 AM
 
Location: Middle of the ocean
27,887 posts, read 17,794,724 times
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Well, you don't work or go to school.... so you are some guys mistress. You better be achieving some GPA somewhere.....
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Old 08-06-2016, 12:16 AM
 
33 posts, read 15,224 times
Reputation: 95
This is his personality, and you're excusing it by associating it with his age. Class doesn't depend on age. He is being a tool.
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Old 08-06-2016, 12:22 AM
 
5,891 posts, read 3,345,838 times
Reputation: 13750
It's probably a little bit of both. But by not working or going to school, you are actually kind of old school too I guess, even if you don't intend to be. The way he responded to your request seems condescending.
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Old 08-06-2016, 12:22 AM
 
1,480 posts, read 843,492 times
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I don't think it's an age thing. You have to make your contribution to the relationship somehow otherwise you're just a mooch. If I was working really hard to provide for both of us, I'ld be pretty miffed if I had to also do work around the house which is why such a relationship is not for me.
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Old 08-06-2016, 12:23 AM
 
Location: So Cal
38,837 posts, read 38,065,822 times
Reputation: 39700
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rockinew View Post
This is his personality, and you're excusing it by associating it with his age. Class doesn't depend on age. He is being a tool.
"Gas, grass or azz."

Once a proud sticker on the shag carpeted vans of the 70's.

While I agree this guy is being a bit on the tool-ish side, this woman isn't working, isn't going to school, WTH??? This guy's delivery is flawed, but not necessarily the message.
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Old 08-06-2016, 12:40 AM
 
6,154 posts, read 2,335,623 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Chowhound View Post
"Gas, grass or azz...
...nobody rides for free."

Not an age thing. I would probably quit asking for help around the house, since you don't like the response, and it's not going to change. How much does one pay for rent, utilities, groceries, entertainment....that's what you're earning in place of outside work and wages.
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Old 08-06-2016, 12:44 AM
 
Location: Middle of the ocean
27,887 posts, read 17,794,724 times
Reputation: 40303
You are wondering what you value is outside of a 70s paradigm is?
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Old 08-06-2016, 12:47 AM
Status: " 💪🏽 🥥" (set 26 days ago)
 
Location: Scottsdale, AZ
13,674 posts, read 11,140,544 times
Reputation: 24255
You gotta pay rent somehow, Lol.
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Old 08-06-2016, 12:52 AM
 
25,558 posts, read 24,272,739 times
Reputation: 24040
It sounds like he wants to "install" a housekeeper/prostitute into his home, so you get a job, get out and let it be some other woman.
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