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Old 08-06-2016, 05:00 PM
 
1 posts, read 1,007 times
Reputation: 10

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I decided to leave my fiance of nearly 6 years. He was physically and verbally abusive. It was a toxic relationship overall. He also drinks alot and I believe he is an alcoholic. When I left him to get my things, it felt kind of disturbing. The last thing I asked him (This was through text message) was did I deserve what happened? His response hours later was "Come and lay with me. You don't have to say anything. Just be in my presence." Sounded like he was trying to lure me.

When I got there to get my stuff, he had the lyrics to the Coldplay Song "The Scientist" written all over the wall of the apartment... I am assuming he did that while he was trying to get me to come over. As I was leaving he was trying to scrub it off the walls. I know that isn't coming off either. Why is his behavior so erratic? I felt kind of scared if he may hurt himself.
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Old 08-06-2016, 05:13 PM
 
Location: 🇬🇧 In jolly old London! 🇬🇧
15,675 posts, read 11,464,675 times
Reputation: 12547
Quote:
Originally Posted by FlowerFlower View Post
I decided to leave my fiance of nearly 6 years. He was physically and verbally abusive. It was a toxic relationship overall. He also drinks alot and I believe he is an alcoholic. When I left him to get my things, it felt kind of disturbing. The last thing I asked him (This was through text message) was did I deserve what happened? His response hours later was "Come and lay with me. You don't have to say anything. Just be in my presence." Sounded like he was trying to lure me.

When I got there to get my stuff, he had the lyrics to the Coldplay Song "The Scientist" written all over the wall of the apartment... I am assuming he did that while he was trying to get me to come over. As I was leaving he was trying to scrub it off the walls. I know that isn't coming off either. Why is his behavior so erratic? I felt kind of scared if he may hurt himself.
Oh my .....I'm so glad you've finally left him .... Both verbal and especially physical abuse makes me sick so I'm very sorry to hear of this

It's probably the fact you've gone that has finally sunk in and now he's at a loss with himself, but if he is indeed an alcoholic and might hurt himself then he's got to get help and you shouldn't feel responsible or worried about him whatsoever.

I do understand that you were together for 6 years but honestly my love please leave him to it/deal with it and don't get sucked back

I really hope you can move on with you life .... Take care
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Old 08-06-2016, 05:14 PM
 
Location: Bloomington IN
8,590 posts, read 12,250,767 times
Reputation: 24242
If you are really worried about him hurting himself, call one of his friends to check on him. Do not let him manipulate you. Alcoholics are master manipulators. Abusers are master manipulators. The combination is lethal. BTW--he could easily go from acting a little off, to physically and verbally abusing you again. You know those unfortunate situations we see in the news all too often: the murder-suicide of a BF/GF? This is how it begins.

Truly--for your own safety just stay away from him.
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Old 08-06-2016, 05:16 PM
 
Location: 🇬🇧 In jolly old London! 🇬🇧
15,675 posts, read 11,464,675 times
Reputation: 12547
Quote:
Originally Posted by rrah View Post
If you are really worried about him hurting himself, call one of his friends to check on him. Do not let him manipulate you. Alcoholics are master manipulators. BTW--he could easily go from acting a little off, to physically and verbally abusing you again. You know those unfortunate situations we see in the news all too often: the murder-suicide of a BF/GF?This is how it begins.

Truly--for your own safety just stay away from him.
That also

He knows she will be worried and might " play on " to further hurt her emotionally

So agreed for her own safety she should stay away
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Old 08-06-2016, 07:17 PM
 
1,058 posts, read 670,724 times
Reputation: 1844
Was he drunk when you got there?
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Old 08-06-2016, 07:38 PM
 
Location: Southern California
15,083 posts, read 20,409,495 times
Reputation: 10343
Quote:
Originally Posted by FlowerFlower View Post
...

Why is his behavior so erratic? I felt kind of scared if he may hurt himself.
It doesn't matter...you're walkin' out the door.

[]
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Old 08-06-2016, 07:43 PM
 
Location: In a place beyond human comprehension
8,919 posts, read 7,672,929 times
Reputation: 16655
Stay.
Away.
Possibly get a restraining order as well.
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Old 08-06-2016, 11:27 PM
 
29,443 posts, read 22,366,566 times
Reputation: 48110
Run far away girl, and never look back.

File restraining order if necessary
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Old 08-06-2016, 11:29 PM
 
Location: So Cal
51,925 posts, read 52,332,873 times
Reputation: 52384
Definitely keep your safety forefront of your mind. I'm sorry this is happening.
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Old 08-07-2016, 10:32 AM
 
Location: Newport Beach, California
38,972 posts, read 27,364,015 times
Reputation: 15922
Quote:
Originally Posted by FlowerFlower View Post
I decided to leave my fiance of nearly 6 years. He was physically and verbally abusive. It was a toxic relationship overall. He also drinks alot and I believe he is an alcoholic. When I left him to get my things, it felt kind of disturbing. The last thing I asked him (This was through text message) was did I deserve what happened? His response hours later was "Come and lay with me. You don't have to say anything. Just be in my presence." Sounded like he was trying to lure me.

When I got there to get my stuff, he had the lyrics to the Coldplay Song "The Scientist" written all over the wall of the apartment... I am assuming he did that while he was trying to get me to come over. As I was leaving he was trying to scrub it off the walls. I know that isn't coming off either. Why is his behavior so erratic? I felt kind of scared if he may hurt himself.
Your ex fiance is not normal. (bolded)

Your relationship is not working out and be glad that you have dodged a bullet.

If you are worrying about his behavior, contact his parents or siblings or family members. But don't try to fix him yourself, you simply can't. He needs a therapist, not a relationship.
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