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I have a feeling a lot of people who tout "sarcasm" as a good trait in their profiles don't really know what sarcasm is. As others have said, sarcasm is essentially negative, and I'm not sure who would consider a hugely sarcastic person a good partner. I do think being sarcastic at times can be appropriate and funny in certain situations, but all the time...? Nah.
What they probably mean is more of a sharp wit that CapsChick mentioned, or perhaps a wry sense of humor, or even facetiousness (a facetious comment can be similar to a sarcastic one but it is generally lighter/less insulting).
Playful, witty banter is great, and something my husband and I engage in all the time. Neither of us is particularly sarcastic. I can be snarky is certain situations, typically in discussions or debates, but in my personal interactions with people? No. Not my thing.
Ha ha. I learned that lesson. A guy I briefly dated was quite sarcastic. Turns out he was a low-grade hoarder. Nothing like I witnessed on t.v. His living room and kitchen/dining area was always somewhat tidy. The rest looked like a tornado went through it with garbage laying all over. One day, I could of sworn I saw something move underneath the trash laying on the floor like a mouse. Or maybe it was my imagination.
He was also overly generous with his close friends that he could enable in some way then at the same time complained about his money issues.
There is no benefit in sarcasm, which begins and ends in anger. Remove the anger and wit remains. Take wit, intelligence, thoughtful discourse, playful banter, flirtatious exchanges, and gentle double entendres (in the beginning). Communicate long, wildly, delicately and unabashedly, as a way of knowing who a person is and how they work. Dance with your words and your intentions, but be direct in your meanings. Create, clarify, emphasize, and establish your capacities as an articulate human being. Keep sarcasm out of all of it. It never ends well.
In one's sense of humor telling jokes, it is probably fine. I think lawyers and politicians have become fair game for sarcastic humor too (lol...for a long time now!), along with long waits anywhere, and slow service at restaurants that don't seem real busy. If used to demean the other person or someone they or the partner care about, then not so much. Depends on the situation. It is best to use only on occasion; in moderation. If the partner also thrives on some sarcasm, it could be an asset. If they don't, it won't. Really that simple IMO.
I had a longtime boyfriend whose family (dad and brothers; his mom was lovely, but she was mostly out of the picture) was insanely cruel, critical, and mocking of most people and things, and sarcasm was their default mode...they were essentially scornful of everything and everybody not them. They were so unpleasant, truly awful people to be around, and my ex, who's nature was not like that, had horrific self esteem from being belittled by them and often a target of their sarcasm for years and years. I noticed, though, over time, that whenever we'd spend time around them (not often, they lived half a continent away), it would rub off on him. He'd end up adopting it to try to fit in/deflect the sarcasm away from himself. It was so dysfunctional and awful.
On OKCupid, many women put sarcasm on their profiles and they seem to be quite proud of it.
Is sarcasm considered a good quality in a great partner? Does sarcasm make a woman more attractive? or witty? or cool?
Can't stand it. It's like a false sense of superiority. To me it makes the person look like shriveled up prune with a lemon in their mouth. Life is too short! Bye Bye!
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