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Old 08-10-2016, 01:30 PM
 
30,907 posts, read 32,923,411 times
Reputation: 26919

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Runninglikethieves View Post
I'm glad my now fiancé didn't think I was a serial killer or rapist, when she spent the night with me a few days after being together. But we did kind of know each other for 15+ years before this. We just didn't really hang out or talk much before that.
Even if you didn't hang out much beforehand, surely you can see how different a situation this is.
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Old 08-10-2016, 01:33 PM
 
Location: Salem, Oregon
2 posts, read 1,269 times
Reputation: 13
Wow. Thanks for all the great responses.

I don't really feel like security is an issue, considering that he is very close with our mutual friends (They're practically attached at the hip, and I doubt they'd encourage this if he were crazy/serial killer). We spent a total of about 48 hours together, as our friends had us running wedding errands together prior to the wedding. We spent the night together after the wedding, and then the entire day together after that, so I'm pretty confident that we have chemistry and common interests/conversation pieces.

It's not against my beliefs to just go out and have fun, I suppose I've never a). Had extended conversations (2+ months of conversation is a lot, in my opinion) with a guy I've only hooked up with, and b). I've never done any long-distance dating, so I feel weird that he is going to travel 2000+ miles to see me, but perhaps that isn't such a big deal.

I suppose that it all boils down to the distance being something that is new to me, and I'm not really sure how to interpret what's happening. I think those of you who've suggested going with the flow and seeing what happens are right.
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Old 08-10-2016, 01:37 PM
 
Location: Jacksonville
2,822 posts, read 1,921,155 times
Reputation: 3074
Quote:
Originally Posted by JerZ View Post
Even if you didn't hang out much beforehand, surely you can see how different a situation this is.
I guess.

But even if we had never met before, I wouldn't have thought much different of the situation. I remember saying a few words to her in the years I had known her before we got together. I don't think I had seen her at all in 11 years before we got together. I guess it was different since her sister knew me though.

But if she had listened to her sister, she probably wouldn't have liked me!
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Old 08-10-2016, 01:44 PM
 
Location: State of Transition
102,126 posts, read 107,381,087 times
Reputation: 115947
Quote:
Originally Posted by JerZ View Post
I wouldn't be hanging my star on this...can't you just meet up for coffee or something while he's in town?

I'd be a bit put off by him literally asking to spend "the weekend." I would think that was a hookup, yes.
This. You don't have to bring it up as a big confession of your being uncomfortable, or whatever, OP. All you have to do is ask him where he'll be staying when he's in town, and does he need any recommendations. See what happens next. Or were you already planning to host him? But you're not sure how serious he is? It seems to me that a guy who's flying across the country, and then planning a side trip to see you, is probably into you more than casually.

Last edited by Ruth4Truth; 08-10-2016 at 02:52 PM..
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Old 08-10-2016, 02:09 PM
 
114 posts, read 91,999 times
Reputation: 115
I'm doing something very similar in a few weeks with a guy that I have solely been friends with for the last few months. My advice is to keep your expectations low.
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