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I think people view it as lacking the ability to commit. I suffer with it all the time and I actually don't fear commitment at all. Even more so if you've had short term relationships or there's been a lag in your long-term relationships. Think of it as a resume. If you're hiring someone, who are you going to be more thrilled with of both candidates are relatively equal? The candidate with steady work history or the candidate that hasn't worked in the last 3 years? You're making an educated guess on experience and a healthy resume looks better than a resume that lacks.
Agreed, to me it's a sign of a serial dater. I understand there are people who don't want kids and never did, but someone who has never been in a long-term relationship by a certain age may enjoy being single a little too much so there would be no future in it.
I remember my mother saying to a coworker "anyone never married by 32 should stay single cause they will be to set in their ways", no granted she said that to a woman who was dating a 40 year old lifelong bachelor back in 1978 but I think it still holds true, if you never lived with a romantic partner past a certain age it becomes harder to except the habits and quirks of someone you are involved with on a day to day basis.
My main concern with someone who says they don't want children is that they are "Child Free By Choice", or a supporter of "The ChildFree Philosophy". I am fundamentally incompatible with someone who thinks the human race should voluntarily become extinct or greatly reduced in number. It would be like a pro choice person being with a pro life person. I am pro choice, and I am also "Childless by Circumstance" rather than "ChildFree by Choice".
Now, if she is like me and wanted them when she was younger, but the right circumstances never came to be, that's different. Or if there is a health reason which results in it being impossible or ill advised for her to have children, that's also different.
I'm talking about someone who made a good living, lived in a good neighborhood, and by all accounts would make a good mother, and was with men who wanted children, but she chose not to have any. That would be suspicious.
Human race extinct? you do know that our planet can indefinitely support only about 2 billion with all the food they would need. thats why people are starving, there is not enough to go around. and there has been a few times the human race has almost been wiped out down to a few hundred which is why homo sapiens have less genetic diversity that almost any other species.
Each person is different. Not everyone wants children and not everyone wants to be in a relationship for whatever reason (busy, in school, taking a break etc.)
Not everyone wants the same things so no red flag for me.
Medical school and residency?
Military?
International business or law?
Professional athletes?
Hasn't dated anybody she's wanted to have kids with? Is on the fence about having kids? Perhaps doesn't want kids at all? Had past relationships with people who weren't ready for/didn't want kids?
It's really interesting that professional aspirations are often seen as the only "legit" reason for women to hold off on having kids.
It's funny how we as women are required to legitimize our reproductive choices with a certain number approved reasons where it's "okay" to have not started a family.
Last edited by TabulaRasa; 08-15-2016 at 07:39 AM..
My husband and I met when we were 35 and 40. Neither of us had been previously married, neither of us had kids. We each hoped to have a family someday, but neither of us had at that point meet anybody we wanted to marry or have kids with. Neither of us were serial daters, both had histories of long-term romantic relationships.
Four years later, we're married and have a kid. There was no need for either of us to have done so prematurely with the wrong person, and the fact that neither of us had done so was actally a good thing. Not a red flag. LOL.
Agreed, to me it's a sign of a serial dater. I understand there are people who don't want kids and never did, but someone who has never been in a long-term relationship by a certain age may enjoy being single a little too much so there would be no future in it.
I remember my mother saying to a coworker "anyone never married by 32 should stay single cause they will be to set in their ways", no granted she said that to a woman who was dating a 40 year old lifelong bachelor back in 1978 but I think it still holds true, if you never lived with a romantic partner past a certain age it becomes harder to except the habits and quirks of someone you are involved with on a day to day basis.
Don't agree. Plenty of people get married after 32 and have successful marriages.
Not to mention, someone may have bad luck in dating and/or not want to date during a specific time period. It doesn't really mean anything, imo.
Location: "Silicon Valley" (part of San Francisco Bay Area, California, USA)
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The other factor is that the older you get, the greater the chances of genetic problems in your children. This is true for males as well as females. I have to say that I feel my own biological clock sometimes, although it is not tenable from a practical or fiscal standpoint for me to start raising children now. Like I said in the past, I'm still interested in finding a lesbian couple who wants to have a known sperm donor (through a clinic). I feel like I should get various things together where I want them (in terms of those practical and fiscal issues) before doing that, though. At the same time I feel like time is running out for me to be a known sperm donor.
I'm 30 and would love to meet an attractive 33 year old woman in that situation.
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