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So after ending my last relationship this past January, I need some advice. My story is a bit messy but I hope you guys can give me some nonjudgmental advice.
So, after I (28) broke up with my ex of four years this past January, I didn't want to date anyone. I was still in love with him and couldn't even imagine to be with another guy. I met this guy (30) in February, a friend of a friend, and he fell for me pretty quickly. I liked him a lot too, but I did not see myself falling in love with him. Not sure why- Maybe because I was still hung up on my ex, or maybe because I just thought I didn't want him. After knowing each other for a couple of weeks, we kissed one night when we were drinking. He then started to ask me out and I always turned him down, even though we always has this amazing connection. Even my friends told me that our chemistry is undeniable. Over the next few weeks, we made out sometimes again. I mean we are all in the same group of friends and hang out all the time, so it just kept happening. We never had sex though. I just didn't want to have sex, at that time I couldn't even imagine to sleep with another man than my ex. So that guy always made clear how much he liked me, but he still kept seeing other girls which was completely fine since I never even hooked up with him.
So, the last time we kissed was a couple of weeks ago. Then, a couple of weeks ago, a new guy started hanging out with our group of friends, a guy I knew from before (briefly) but who lived abroad for a couple of months. He's also a friend of that guy I'm talking about, those two met only 1.5 years ago and we're all hanging out all the time. I liked him he's smart and funny, but really not my type (unlike the other guy). Then, one evening 1.5 weeks ago, we were all together drinking at a festival and him and I suddenly lost everyone. I did not see that coming, but after we had a couple of drinks he kissed me, and suddenly it all went from there. We had sex at his place later, and also the next day, and last week as well. In total 4 times. I'm not even sure why I did it. Probably because I haven't had sex in six months, and because I did like him. I just don't see myself falling for him, even though I enjoy his company. To me, it's just fun. He on the other hand seems to start really liking me. I can tell, and he actually told a friend of mine that he does.
So, this is where my problem starts. This past weekend, we were all hanging out again and I was talking for a long time to the guy I talked about before, the guy I kissed a couple of times and who has been trying to get me ever since we met. This time, we talked about serious stuff and I realized we click on both levels, in a funny way and a serious way. It was almost like a slap in my face, when I realized- I think I have a crush on him. I was really thinking 'God, I've been liking him all this time but never really admitted it, even to myself', probably because finally I moved on from my ex and I'm ready to see someone new. These past two days I've been thinking about him a lot, and I caught myself staring at him when we were hanging out as a group yesterday. Last night we talked on WhatsApp for like two hours. He still wants me. He's really into me. But he doesn't know that I have been having sex with that other guy from our group, the guy who's also his friend. And the other guy seems into me too, and everything is a huge mess.
I honestly don't know what to do. I kinda regret that I hooked up with that one guy, since he isn't really anything more than a friend to me. I feel like an idiot. I mean, the guy I do like also hooked up with other girls since knowing me, but I mean we've never dated and those were girls I don't know. I realized I do have feelings for him, but I feel like it might be too late now because of what I did.
I know this whole story might sound childish and stupid to you guys, but I would really appreciate some good advice, I've never been in a situation like this. What would you do in my shoes? Should I just tell the guy I like that I had sex with his friend? Should I keep it to myself? Should I just give up on the whole idea of being with him since I already screwed it up? Should I just give it some time? I don't know.
You had no commitments to each other. How do you know the first guy don't know about the second guy having sex with you. They might have a plan to see who will be the first one to break you down. It's not high school anymore. Grow up!....gator
Pursue the kisser, don't tell him about the other guy and break up with other guy.
But the guy I like might find out that I slept with his friend since a few other friends also know, i mean we're one group of friends (around 15 people in total).
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cienanos
But the guy I like might find out that I slept with his friend since a few other friends also know, i mean we're one group of friends (around 15 people in total).
So what? People have sex. Sometimes it happens with people that are within similar social groups.
But the guy I like might find out that I slept with his friend since a few other friends also know, i mean we're one group of friends (around 15 people in total).
yeah, but you said he was dating other girls also ... so ....
Thanks. That makes me feel better. I have just never been in a situation like this. I've always had long relationships or I was just single, never hooked up a lot. I guess I'm not only scared that the guy I like won't want me anymore when he finds out about me and his friend, but also that people in our group might think I'm a ***** because of sleeping with two guys from the group (on the other hand, they've never seen me with a guy before because I didn't have sex for six months after breaking up with my ex). And I also don't wanna hurt the other guy since he's my friend and I like him a lot.
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