I'm not dating right now...but yes we can hang out saturday night together... (guy, gay)
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If you subscribe to this AT ALL, you've already failed.
If you are trying to go the friendship route, you are starting off by lying to her. Heck, for all you know, she is lying to you, too. Not a great start, by any means.
As others have said, you are headed for the "friend zone", but it's not likely to survive there for long.
She is clearly stating she doesn't want to date you. She doesn't want to be direct, but it's likely she has her eye on someone specific and you aren't it. In the meantime, at least she can have company instead of spending a boring evening alone. Maybe she'll end up pumping you for tips on how to land that guy she really wants to date.
From your side, you're hoping to bait-n-switch. "Hey, I'm just here as a friend. Whoops! What are my lips doing?"
I would forget about Saturday and have an honest conversation that goes something like, "I don't want to mislead you by pretending to just a hang-out friend. Let me know when you are ready to date. I'd really like to take you out and get to know you."
How exactly is hanging out with this woman going to introduce him to new women, in the case that (from what I recall) it isn't a group activity?
And once again, there's no reason to have to be friends with a woman you like, who doesn't like you back.
Again, not telling him what to do. That's just what I would do.
Duh! You meet her,hang around with her, you meet her friends, they introduce you to their friends....it can be an ever-expanding situation
Not something you'll likely to see from your TV
Duh! You meet her,hang around with her, you meet her friends, they introduce you to their friends....it can be an ever-expanding situation
Not something you'll likely to see from your TV
Okay, that's fair enough.
But did the OP say he was going somewhere that her friends would be present?
If they just go out together, the two of them, I don't think he'll be meeting anybody else.
I'm not advocating that he says inside and watch TV. I'm saying that he should meet other girls that he likes, who also happen to like him back. Going out with a girl that you are interested in, who thinks of you as nothing more than a male girlfriend is ultra lame.
"Friends" with a gal is gray area, out of the box thinking for most guys. This is not to be confused with being so called "friend zoned" by a potential dating/love interest or target. Huge difference.
Awhile back, I became friends with a lady neighbor (nearby not next door) and indirectly met some of hers, one of whom I hooked up with for awhile. Yes I'm still friends with the original gal.
Conversely , I'm sure we've all been "zoned"....and those are the ones I immediately break contact with and forget. One has to decide at the very begining which way to go with either case, or if they even have a choice. IMO
We talked. I came out and plainly said I would like to take her on a date. She said she isn't dating right now. I said ok, but let's hang out anyway. She said yes. Numbers exchanged. Plans made. Now gonna hang out Saturday evening...what is this? Should one expect to never get past friendship from this situation? I like to take things slow anyway, but I do wish to date/ date her...
She said it in plain English, I'd listen to her, unless you wanna just be friends only I wouldn't bother to "hang out" with her. You're setting yourself up for a world of pain.
I went. We got on pretty good. A little past mid-way through the night but not the end, I told her I still like and I'm probably not gonna stop...and right now I really want to kiss her... and I know it's weird to ask, but I'm very against violating personal space due to... and after a moment I decided to be a hypocrite: my hand grasped hers as my other lightly warped on her waist. We lipped serviced. Might sound hard to believe, but that is what happened. Didn't really say anything about dating or a second date for the rest of the night. Kissed again at the end for a lengthy amount of time. Big smile at work this morning. Not gonna push the issue about what this is...
I'm glad the hanging-out went well. It sounds like she had fun, as well.
If nothing else, you let her know very clearly that the friend zone is not where you want to live. Kudos for taking a bold step that turned out well.
Just bear in mind, there is as much an opportunity for bad things to happen as there is for good. I'd be interested to know how asking her for another hang-out session will go. Don't be surprised if you get put off.
My suspicion still remains that you are the bridge to her next relationship. That means things are going to be sometimes fun, most of the time frustrating and ending up with someone getting their feelings hurt.
Just make sure not to invest yourself fully in a relationship with her, at least not in the beginning. There is nothing exclusive about the relationship, so make sure you spend time exploring other opportunities, as well. Her knowing that you aren't sitting around waiting for her is only going to be to your benefit.
Last edited by reds37win; 08-22-2016 at 09:26 AM..
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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Quote:
Originally Posted by startingfromscratchagain
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It didn't work out. Bleh. We don't even communicate anymore. Don't even greet each other at work. lol. Moving on.
Shocking.
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