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As far as time known before we dated, from several months to several years.
It's not nearly as unheard of when the people know each other previously, with one (or maybe even both) being in a relationship with someone else at the time they meet/before dating.
But as far as just becoming friends with a woman in order to date her, that really doesn't happen as much as some would have you believe and I would seriously advise against it. Especially if she's single and your single. Tell her you like her from the beginning, or you might find yourself banished permanently to the friend zone, even if there was a chance she might have liked you before.
It's not nearly as unheard of when the people know each other previously, with one (or maybe even both) being in a relationship with someone else at the time they meet/before dating.
But as far as just becoming friends with a woman in order to date her, that really doesn't happen as much as some would have you believe and I would seriously advise against it. Especially if she's single and your single. Tell her you like her from the beginning, or you might find yourself banished permanently to the friend zone, even if there was a chance she might have liked you before.
It's never a good idea to become friends with a woman in the hopes of dating her. It is however a good idea to become friends with lots of women with no intentions other than being friends in the first place. This will open up way more opportunities than only being around women when you are dating them. The women who are compatible with you will present themselves to you over time.
One of the most limiting things guys do to themselves is to only "date" women and never actually become friends with them.
We talked. I came out and plainly said I would like to take her on a date. She said she isn't dating right now. I said ok, but let's hang out anyway. She said yes. Numbers exchanged. Plans made. Now gonna hang out Saturday evening...what is this? Should one expect to never get past friendship from this situation? I like to take things slow anyway, but I do wish to date/ date her...
Thinking about doing this, bro. Today at work we was hanging, and I personally felt kind of weird. I don't think she felt my vibe was tipping because she was the same as usual. On the other hand, I just wanted to wine and dine her right then and there until our lips touched with a firework like flair. I ain't talking about nothing nasty, man. Just, I like it. You know what I mean? Too awkward for me bro. I ain't being nearly as 'nice' as I was either in our banter. lol. Then again,
If you subscribe to this AT ALL, you've already failed.
If you are trying to go the friendship route, you are starting off by lying to her. Heck, for all you know, she is lying to you, too. Not a great start, by any means.
As others have said, you are headed for the "friend zone", but it's not likely to survive there for long.
She is clearly stating she doesn't want to date you. She doesn't want to be direct, but it's likely she has her eye on someone specific and you aren't it. In the meantime, at least she can have company instead of spending a boring evening alone. Maybe she'll end up pumping you for tips on how to land that guy she really wants to date.
From your side, you're hoping to bait-n-switch. "Hey, I'm just here as a friend. Whoops! What are my lips doing?"
I would forget about Saturday and have an honest conversation that goes something like, "I don't want to mislead you by pretending to just a hang-out friend. Let me know when you are ready to date. I'd really like to take you out and get to know you."
If you subscribe to this AT ALL, you've already failed.
If you are trying to go the friendship route, you are starting off by lying to her. Heck, for all you know, she is lying to you, too. Not a great start, by any means.
Starting off with a friendship is not lying. It is only lying if you have other intentions in the beginning and are just pretending to be friends with the idea of eventually "winning her over".
Quote:
Originally Posted by reds37win
In the meantime, at least she can have company instead of spending a boring evening alone. Maybe she'll end up pumping you for tips on how to land that guy she really wants to date.
He can do the same with her. In the meantime, he gets to expand his social circle, can learn more about women from their point of view, increase his social proof, and become a more well-rounded guy, all of which are attractive to women. Guys who have their stuff together and who can be friends with women will have no trouble in the dating world.
Starting off with a friendship is not lying. It is only lying if you have other intentions in the beginning and are just pretending to be friends with the idea of eventually "winning her over."
Well...which is exactly what it appears is the OP's intention, and if there's zero chance of this he has decided to blow her off.
This would all seem to confirm the above statement.
I've had at least 4 long term relationships that were friends first and several shorter term ones
OMG, did your account get hacked? YOU are revealing something about yourself, I never thought this day is gonna come.
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I like to take things slow anyway, but I do wish to date/ date her...
