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I really don't agree with this at all. I mean, you live your life the way you want to and all.
But when I go out with a girl, I kiss her on the first date, because I wanna know as soon as possible if she likes me or not.
In fact, when I've neglected to kiss a girl on the first date, I've NEVER gotten a second date. Not unless the girl REALLY liked me.
Ironically, the only instance I can remember not kissing on a first date and something coming out of it, was when I first hung out with the first long term girlfriend I had. I had dated other girls before, but this was the first real girlfriend I had. And I later found out that she had never even kissed anyone before me. I think it was the third or fourth time that we hung out that I finally kissed her. And two weeks after meeting her in person for the first time.
You must be doing something right if you're able to get a third date without going for a kiss. But it's just a kiss, I can't see that as being too fast, unless you're like a high schooler. And I mean in the like 9th-10th grade or younger.
All due respect to you though, I just don't have time to be waiting until the third date to kiss a girl. It's also a waste of money if you're buying and taking her out, then the third date rolls around and she don't like you.
That's also why I sort of wait, and don't kiss on the 1st date. If she's still willing to go out on dates with me, then there's a good chance she likes me. Of course, I don't wait TOO LONG (definitely wouldn't want to wait 2 months for example, lol).
Keep in mind, I live close to Manhattan. I can often take a girl out on a date, and not have to pay much money (if at all). Plenty of creative things to do around here without it costing anything, or very little.
Trust me. If the dude is cute enough he's NOT damned if he does...and if she doesn't like him, neither holding back nor going for it will make a difference because, well...she just doesn't like him.
So my thought is, go for it, boys. I'd she doesn't like it, it probably isn't because of your timing, unless the two of you are at a funeral or a pap smear or something when you lean in to plant one on.
I always go for the kiss on the first date. I wanna find out if I'm in or out as soon as possible. If I'm out, I'm not wasting anymore time on her. Not wasting anymore money either. 👺👎🏻
That's also why I sort of wait, and don't kiss on the 1st date. If she's still willing to go out on dates with me, then there's a good chance she likes me.
Keep in mind, I live close to Manhattan. I can often take a girl out on a date, and not have to pay much money (if at all). Plenty of things to do around here without it costing anything, or very little.
If that's your theory or way you like it, whatever works for you.
I'm just saying that I wouldn't do it. Just forget the money, I don't have times for 3 dates before finding out if I have a chance with her. Especially between the months of October-April! Too much hockey on!
If that's your theory or way you like it, whatever works for you.
I'm just saying that I wouldn't do it. Just forget the money, I don't have times for 3 dates before finding out if I have a chance with her. Especially between the months of October-April! Too much hockey on!
Haha, don't blame ya!
Which team are you a fan of? Big time Rangers fan here..
Which team are you a fan of? Big time Rangers fan here..
Haha we can't be friends after I answer!
Devils! Since 93-94! Like I watch EVERY Devils game and attend every game they play in Tampa and Sunrise and a few home games a year if I'm visiting during the holidays. certain circumstances may cause me to miss one or two but I'll DVR those. And even nights they aren't playing, I'll watch whatever else is on.
I seriously don't even use hockey related message boards anymore, because I could literally talk about it and post on them every free second I get.
Devils! Since 93-94! Like I watch EVERY Devils game and attend every game they play in Tampa and Sunrise and a few home games a year if I'm visiting during the holidays. certain circumstances may cause me to miss one or two but I'll DVR those. And even nights they aren't playing, I'll watch whatever else is on.
I seriously don't even use hockey related message boards anymore, because I could literally talk about it and post on them every free second I get.
Ahaha, definitely aren't friends anymore..
You definitely seem like a diehard fan for sure. I usually post on HFboards.
Well hopefully the OP keeps the forum posted on updates to learn.
Agreed that to not take the opportunity when present is a deathblow. The lack of confidence perceived on the lady's part decreases the attraction.
I may be in a similar situation with a girl at work flirting with me hard. Very pretty. Have to take a chance when there is an opportunity.
These issues guys continually seem to have on this forum, could easily be prevented if only they took a few simple actions before hand.
And like I discussed before on various threads, going for the kiss is one of the best ways to screen your date, IF you really like her and feel there's some chemistry. And I mean going for that kiss early on in the courtship.
A first date to me is more about seeing if there's any chemistry at all, and gauging what kind of a person she is. And if I like what I see, I try to get a feel for if she feels the same way. Of course I'm not going to kiss a date that I have no chemistry with. But if I feel there's potential, most certainly by the second date should be hints of intimacy.
If she hesitates or doesn't want to kiss or is uncomfortable being intimate with you, then you have your answer.
I don't buy that women in general are turned off by a guy they like not making a move on her. If a girl likes a guy, she likes a guy. End of story. She'll make it known.
Like the OP's situation, if she really liked him the way he wants her to like him, don't you think she would have said or done something by now? She would have started making moves on him and wanting to kiss in the car after the date.
But after almost 3 months, the girl does nothing to truly show her interest in the OP, and the poor OP is still bamboozled and wondering what's going on. Like I said, at least if the OP tried to kiss her early on, he would have known where he stood, and prevented months of being strung along with false hopes.
I can look back on all my dates and relationships, and the difference in actions between girls who were genuinely attracted to me, and those who viewed me as the 'nice guy' to pay for their dinner and movie only, is like freaking night and day.
You definitely seem like a diehard fan for sure. I usually post on HFboards.
I posted on one of the first incarnations of hfboards, back in the old days. I still post there from time to time now, not frequently anymore. It's not even the same account I had back in the day.
If I wasn't hanging out with my best friend or one of my two or three other friends or playing music, I was on that board constantly. I never actually made friends on that board in real life, but I posted on that board so much, I began to discuss posters on that board with my friends in real life. ''You gotta see what (whatever the posters name was) he posted today. He's the most entertaining poster on this forum!'' or ''*insert another poster* said this today and it was hilarious!''
Those were the days! I think I was in high school when I started posting there, it must have been the late 90's and early 00's when I was at my peak over there. During the 99-00 cup year and even the 02-03 cup year, I was very active during that time. I must have posted on some other forums going back to the mid 90's, back during the first cup. I can remember being online and discussing the 94 ECF series between the Devils and Rangers. It couldn't have been HFboards. I think America Online had some forums back then when the internet was in it's infancy. I'm really dating myself here!
These issues guys continually seem to have on this forum, could easily be prevented if only they took a few simple actions before hand.
And like I discussed before on various threads, going for the kiss is one of the best ways to screen your date, IF you really like her and feel there's some chemistry. And I mean going for that kiss early on in the courtship.
A first date to me is more about seeing if there's any chemistry at all, and gauging what kind of a person she is. And if I like what I see, I try to get a feel for if she feels the same way. Of course I'm not going to kiss a date that I have no chemistry with. But if I feel there's potential, most certainly by the second date should be hints of intimacy.
If she hesitates or doesn't want to kiss or is uncomfortable being intimate with you, then you have your answer.
I don't buy that women in general are turned off by a guy they like not making a move on her. If a girl likes a guy, she likes a guy. End of story. She'll make it known.
Like the OP's situation, if she really liked him the way he wants her to like him, don't you think she would have said or done something by now? She would have started making moves on him and wanting to kiss in the car after the date.
But after almost 3 months, the girl does nothing to truly show her interest in the OP, and the poor OP is still bamboozled and wondering what's going on. Like I said, at least if the OP tried to kiss her early on, he would have known where he stood, and prevented months of being strung along with false hopes.
I can look back on all my dates and relationships, and the difference in actions between girls who were genuinely attracted to me, and those who viewed me as the 'nice guy' to pay for their dinner and movie only, is like freaking night and day.
This ain't rocket science guys.
I agree.
Of course, there could be outliers in which a girl may like a guy, but still not be comfortable getting intimate with him right away (some girls do wait to screen out guys), but overall, I agree.
That's also why I sort of wait, and don't kiss on the 1st date. If she's still willing to go out on dates with me, then there's a good chance she likes me. Of course, I don't wait TOO LONG (definitely wouldn't want to wait 2 months for example, lol).
Keep in mind, I live close to Manhattan. I can often take a girl out on a date, and not have to pay much money (if at all). Plenty of creative things to do around here without it costing anything, or very little.
I like the way NewYorker thinks. And I agree the first date is too soon, especially if you don't know the person well beforehand.
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