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IME, It's got nothing to do with confidence or social skills. If my social skills weren't lacking in 2004 when I was a goofy, awkward kid, they're not lacking now, and my confidence is fine. You've gotta be a movie star to elicit a positive response from an attractive lady these days.
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So you've stayed the same but a whole gender changed?
Does that sound reasonable?
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So you've stayed the same but a whole gender changed?
Does that sound reasonable?
I didn't say gender at all. The culture altogether. People used to be a lot more social and outgoing in general. It's a different generation, attitudes aren't static.
Then how do you explain the amount of happy and successful relationships/marriages that have been formed thanks to OLD? I doubt the majority are crazy or undesirable.
In this day and age, plenty of desirable people use OLD as another tool to potentially meet someone.
"Desirable" is different than "high quality".
I'm not saying that there are no good people online. I'm saying that there are better people offline.
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With my experience dating IRL (up to now anyways), it ALWAYS has been that the women I've wanted to potentially date were either not interested in me (fine, I won't be everyone's cup of tea), were already in a relationship (often found to be true, and not just blowing me off), or simply didn't want to date at all right now (which can be true). Or, I've gotten her number, but it ultimately led to nothing.
Take it as you will, but that's been my whole experience...lol
With OLD, even though it hasn't led to anything long term, I've at least gone out on dates with women thanks to it. The reason I also like it is because the women on OLD (most anyway) are single and looking to date, so I don't have worry whether she has a boyfriend, or not really interested in dating right now.
Now, would I prefer to meet women IRL? Yes, but OLD has simply worked out a little better for me up to this point.
My experience has been the opposite. Very difficult to meet women online and the ones that I do meet are way lower in quality than ones I meet IRL.
I find getting laid IRL to be fairly easy (especially in bars and clubs....I could be in a club with all men and one attractive woman and I will still be able to get her). Relationships are much more difficult, but way easier in person than online.
I've had relationships with women that I've met in convenience stores, the gym, and in bars. Never online.
As far as "vetting" women (like a previous suggested), this is also easy to do IRL. Just get involved with things where the women are naturally vetted.
I just moved to Scottsdale and I'm looking for people to go out with to meet women. I met a dude on another forum and we're hitting the Tempe area on Friday. He doesn't seem to like the bars though.
You should come with!
I'm 39.
I actually relocated to Ahwatukee after I got laid off to cut costs. I'm actually trying to get a job out of state. I've lived in the Phoenix area twice now and I'm done with it.
I'm not a big fan of bars these days either. Don't get me wrong, I can drink with the best of them, but I usually end up flying solo so just drinking is a tough proposition. Usually, when I'm up that way, I'm in more low key off-Mill joints like Casey Moore's or Yucca Tap Room.
I didn't say gender at all. The culture altogether. People used to be a lot more social and outgoing in general. It's a different generation, attitudes aren't static.
Agreed, but you could use this to your advantage.
People used to be more social. They also used to be more courteous. These days, the bar is set so low that even being slightly social or slightly courteous stands out.
Here's an example: The other night I was leaving my apartment complex to get some food. A younger kid (probably a teenager) was walking in front of my car. He noticed my car and walked faster so as not to hold me up. He then waved to me. I found that refreshing since most people just walk slow and act like they're doing you a favor by getting out of your way (even though you're in a car that could potentially kill them).
Such a small event that many years ago would have been commonplace stood out in my mind because it is so rare today.
The bar is set super low with just about everything. My generation (millennials) are a bunch of lazy dirtbags. However, those of us that aren't could easily stand out with very little effort because of it.
So you see? Anything could be flipped to be positive if you think about it a bit. But, hey, I'm an opportunist. So I naturally think this way.
I actually relocated to Ahwatukee after I got laid off to cut costs. I'm actually trying to get a job out of state. I've lived in the Phoenix area twice now and I'm done with it.
I'm not a big fan of bars these days either. Don't get me wrong, I can drink with the best of them, but I usually end up flying solo so just drinking is a tough proposition. Usually, when I'm up that way, I'm in more low key off-Mill joints like Casey Moore's or Yucca Tap Room.
I've never heard of those places, but I'm down to go if you want.
I've been reading about some cougar places in Scottsdale. Might be a good place to go if you just want to get laid.
The guy I'm going out with goes to ASU (he's a college kid). I figure I'll hit on some younger girls with him during the day, then hit the cougar joint at night. Kind of round it out. If all else fails, there seems to be a TON of strip clubs in the area.
I'm also looking into joining some hiking groups in the area. Maybe look for a girlfriend or something in these groups.
Let me know what you're plans are. I'm down for whatever.
I've never heard of those places, but I'm down to go if you want.
I've been reading about some cougar places in Scottsdale. Might be a good place to go if you just want to get laid.
The guy I'm going out with goes to ASU (he's a college kid). I figure I'll hit on some younger girls with him during the day, then hit the cougar joint at night. Kind of round it out. If all else fails, there seems to be a TON of strip clubs in the area.
I'm also looking into joining some hiking groups in the area. Maybe look for a girlfriend or something in these groups.
Let me know what you're plans are. I'm down for whatever.
Yeah, see I'm looking for wifey material, and you just described the two types of women I run into out-and-about on the rare occasion a woman doesn't find me repulsive: The 24 year old drunk college girl, or the awkwardly aggressive 45+ cougar. Another reason the bars don't have much appeal. I might hit up Yucca to get out of the house and check out the bands. In that case, I can hit you up if you'd like. Hope you like dive bars and (varying levels of) random local musical talent. Ha ha. My scene is more the alt crowd.
If you dig older women, I'll recco Blue Martini on the north side. I call it Cougsrtown. Personally, I haaaaaaaaaaate that place with fury of a thousand suns.
Yeah, hiking is big around here. You might find something interesting. I'm not really into it. I'm way more and ocean guy than a desert one.
Yeah, see I'm looking for wifey material, and you just described the two types of women I run into out-and-about on the rare occasion a woman doesn't find me repulsive: The 24 year old drunk college girl, or the awkwardly aggressive 45+ cougar. Another reason the bars don't have much appeal. I might hit up Yucca to get out of the house and check out the bands. In that case, I can hit you up if you'd like. Hope you like dive bars and (varying levels of) random local musical talent. Ha ha.
I'm looking for a wifey too, but, until I find her, I have my needs.
But yeah I'm really down for anything, man. I'm guessing Yucca has live bands?
Send me a PM with your number and we'll figure something out!
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If you dig older women, I'll recco Blue Martini on the north side. Pet, I haaaaaaaaaaate that place.
I think that's the one I was reading about. I like older women in the sense that they tend to be more down and make things easier. More just for fun, not relationships.
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Yeah, hiking is big around here. You might find something interesting. I'm not really into it. I'm way more and ocean guy than a desert one.
Hiking is okay. I don't really get the craze. But women seem to like it and I don't have much to do on the weekends since I don't know anyone lol. Plus, I just moved to Arizona and this is way different from where I previously lived (New York, then way out on the coast of California).
I hate making eye contact. I think it's very awkward. But I know "I blew my chances" when women make eye contact with me, and out of habit, i either look the other way or look down.
I hate making eye contact. I think it's very awkward. But I know "I blew my chances" when women make eye contact with me, and out of habit, i either look the other way or look down.
That's a tough one to break. If I'm checking her out, I usually just give her my best looks-like-you-caught-me smile and, depending on her reaction, I either look away or consider approaching her. The former happens a lot and I like that; I'm not in the habit of approaching random, attractive women in public, but my vain side enjoys being checked out. It's a good indicator that some women consider me attractive. If I want to approach women, there are other venues that are much better suited for that.
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