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(I'm 23 btw if that matters). So today the girl I've been seeing for two months told me she cheated. We were exclusive, as she asked me to be about a month ago. On a related note I feel like I always get the cheaters; as this is my third time being on the other side of infidelity .
I really liked this girl and she had started to mean a lot to me. We have a lot in common and really started gaining a connection.
The beginning of this week she tells me that she has a friend visiting from back home. I was skeptical and nervous about this because I knew it was a guy and I knew they used to have a thing several years ago. She said they were just friends and had this tripped planned for several months and that he would sleep in a different room. It was a positive sign that she gave me the heads up and wanted to let me know. I gave the okay because I put trust in her that they were just friends.
Long story short he left and this morning she told me that they hooked up. She also still really likes me and deeply regrets it.
I'm here giving her enough trust to let a guy friend visit for a couple days and end up feeling betrayed . I didn't like the situation from the start but knew there was nothing I could do and didn't want to be controlling.
We're meeting up to talk later tonight. I still like her, but am obviously mad and hurt. I'm wondering what I should do?
I see a few options:
A. Leave her, I deserve someone more faithful..
B. Take her back with a few conditions.
C. Seperate but keep communication open and see what happens after some time has gone by.
Well she told you, that is certainly a good sign. Try something novel. Take her back and don't mention it again. Sure it hurts, but no reason to demand penance or court sympathy with her just take her back knowing she admitted what she did and don't discuss it. You are both young and unmarried, **** happens.
If your ever in that situation again just say that infidelity = over.
You can do what makes the most sense and feels the best to you. In your situation, I would most likely be done with the relationship. Sure, mistakes happen, but you've only been together 2 months and she wanted to go exclusive and she's already cheated. You deserve better.
Whatever you decide to do, a "cool off" period might be a good thing. You're not emotionally in a place where your relationship can continue status quo right now.
Well she told you, that is certainly a good sign. Try something novel. Take her back and don't mention it again. Sure it hurts, but no reason to demand penance or court sympathy with her just take her back knowing she admitted what she did and don't discuss it. You are both young and unmarried, **** happens.
If your ever in that situation again just say that infidelity = over.
That's kind of what I was thinking. The fact that she told me almost right away and that she sent him back means something. She might of cheated, but she isn't a liar.
No question she made the wrong choice. But I can understand if she's confused. She told me that they had a confusing past and that she ****ed up. She told him about me after it happened. I'd be more angry knowing it was some guy who lived in our area. The fact that he lives hundreds of miles away would make it easier to forgive considering he's out of the picture.
Were meeting up in a couple of hours. I'll update this thread with the results.
Agreed though, If I do take her back I'm going to make it very clear. Another slip up and I'm gone with the wind.
You can do what makes the most sense and feels the best to you. In your situation, I would most likely be done with the relationship. Sure, mistakes happen, but you've only been together 2 months and she wanted to go exclusive and she's already cheated. You deserve better.
Whatever you decide to do, a "cool off" period might be a good thing. You're not emotionally in a place where your relationship can continue status quo right now.
Normally I would agree with this, my friends tell me to leave her. But my feelings, although hurt, tell me to give it a shot.
A cool off period is happening either way, I'm leaving the country for a week in a couple of days anyways.
You need to look at potential reasons why you are drawn to people who do not respect you. Getting cheated on appears to be a pattern, and you have to look at why you're the common denominator, here.
For me, cheating is it. Trust is gone, it's not coming back. Others may not have a black and white stance on it, but I do. Once trust is broken in that way, there's just no point, what's gone is gone.
Thanks for the advice everyone. I'm leaving soon to hear her out.
I'm not going to make a final decision right now, I want to hear what she has to say. It's going to have to be pretty good though. I'll let you guys know what happens.
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