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I was getting the impression he wanted that "who cares what time it is, I'm having too much fun with you" feeling. I had that recently, it's pretty rare though Hasn't anyone else ever met someone, and not thought about what time they had to go to work? It doesn't feel like one is "dragging it out" if they don't feel like saying goodbye after dinner...
I used to fly by the seat when I was younger and my job wasn't a critical part of my life. As we get older, it's just not that easy anymore to wing it on 4 hours and expect to get through the day with a fully focused mind. I can do that one night, but not two in a row. I prefer to end my nights early no matter what I am doing, plus it seems safer.
I used to fly by the seat when I was younger and my job wasn't a critical part of my life. As we get older, it's just not that easy anymore to wing it on 4 hours and expect to get through the day with a fully focused mind. I can do that one night, but not two in a row. I prefer to end my nights early no matter what I am doing, plus it seems safer.
Agreed! I used to thrive on sleep deprivation in my early 20s. Now, lack of sleep makes me cranky.
....You have to be secure enough to know that she's busy and you're not always the top priority.
Good advice that should apply to all "couples". Two people can be very much in love and very happy together if they accept each other's different priorities. The strongest bond is that each person provides the other some (not all) things they don't want to live without, and that varies widely.
So I had a 1st date last night with a woman I met off an app called Dine (one of the newest dating apps launched like a couple to a few months ago) after talking for about a week and half or so.
However, it seems like with most of the other women I've encountered. She apparently seems too busy to date due to her job (she's an executive assistant at a private equity firm), and social lifestyle.
Dinner date lasted around 2 to 2 and half hours (8:30 to like 10:30-11), and I had planned to ask her if she wanted to walk around east/village downtown a bit while getting ice cream after we left (our date was in that area), but before I could ask, she said she had to leave since she had to wake up very early for her job and there would be important meetings and what not (like 6-7 AM, and definitely didn't lie about that due to our previous text convos before meeting up).
She apologized, but did say she'd be open to seeing me again. She had mentioned a place she wanted to go to during our date convo, and so asked her for a 2nd date to go to that place. She agreed, and said she'd pick up the check that time since I paid for our 1st date.
However, it just seems that I can never find a woman that's open to a long spontaneous type of date. It's almost always specifically planned, and never lasts long. Like, if I wanted to invite her out to some place out of the blue for example, or extend the date afterwards.
People are busy and have jobs/lives, that's understandable. I don't know if I'm just ranting, or just trying to figure out if I need to change the type of women I'm attracted to, lol.
I'm definitely attracted to hard-working independent type women, but it seems a lot of them never really have time to date so to speak (at least the ones I've encountered anyway).
I personally wouldn't want to walk around late at night with someone who I barely knew either. And even if I did know him, I still wouldn't want to do it if I had to work the next morning.
I can't lie, I really prefer that feeling on a first date of it's getting late, but I don't care, because I like this person. In my experience, I've found that both people were more enthusiastic for a second date when both of them had that feeling. I had a date a few weeks ago that lasted from 7PM till about 3AM on a Sunday evening into early Monday morning. I had to work the next day, but didn't even care, because we were both enjoying each other's company.
Just about any date I've had that felt "scripted" never made it to a second date. Sure, we'd talk after the first date still, but it just seemed to never get off the ground. I'm not saying the dates have to last like the one above, but it's also why I've basically omitted coffee dates and ice cream dates from my outings. I've felt like every time I've done those dates, we ended up watching our watches too much and it was difficult to transition into something else. Eating dinner and then walking around to check out our local murals is so much easier to transition from for me. For me, if a woman suggest to do coffee or ice cream, I just kinda mentally take a note that she's possibly not very compatible with me. Potentially too guarded, and I'm already guarded enough for the both of us. Haha
I can't lie, I really prefer that feeling on a first date of it's getting late, but I don't care, because I like this person. In my experience, I've found that both people were more enthusiastic for a second date when both of them had that feeling. I had a date a few weeks ago that lasted from 7PM till about 3AM on a Sunday evening into early Monday morning. I had to work the next day, but didn't even care, because we were both enjoying each other's company.
Exactly, if both of you don't want the night to end, that's chemistry.
Exactly, if both of you don't want the night to end, that's chemistry.
But that's not the only way to have chemistry. They've already agreed to a 2nd date and she's already said she will pay for it. So this whole thread is making a mountain out of a molehill.
This is how people sabotage themselves, by not being glad for what's working out and lamenting that the night didn't go longer or follow some other unspoken expectation.
I can't lie, I really prefer that feeling on a first date of it's getting late, but I don't care, because I like this person. In my experience, I've found that both people were more enthusiastic for a second date when both of them had that feeling. I had a date a few weeks ago that lasted from 7PM till about 3AM on a Sunday evening into early Monday morning. I had to work the next day, but didn't even care, because we were both enjoying each other's company.
Just about any date I've had that felt "scripted" never made it to a second date.
So, how many dates after that first date a few weeks ago have you had and how is everything going with her?
I'll bet there are other women who feel this way about first dates, and don't want to extend them well beyond that 2-ish hour length.
*raises hand*
My first date with my partner was spent strolling and sitting and talking for a couple of hours at the local walking path with our dogs. When we made it back to our cars, he asked me if I wanted to go to dinner. Though I certainly did feel chemistry and did want to go out with him again, I politely declined.
I wanted to go home, by myself, and let the afternoon sink in.
We ended up going for a day-long drive in the mountains the next day, and have pretty much been inseparable ever since.
So, no, I don't think, at all, that not wanting a first date to last for 9 hours, or well into the night, necessarily means that there's lack of chemistry or anything of the sort.
So, how many dates after that first date a few weeks ago have you had and how is everything going with her?
She's a bit older than me. I'm 32 and she's 45, so an actual relationship isn't really on either persons radar right now. Let me think, we've probably had 5 or 6 dates in the last 2 weeks. She's dealing with some family jazz right now, so I'm letting her figure that out. I'm not one to really want to get involved in family drama and she doesn't want to drag me into it. As a matter of fact, I saw her last night for about 3 hours. She's in a transitional phase of moving and actually living her own life for once, since she was married to her 2 kids Dad for 26 years.
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Hasn't anyone else ever met someone, and not thought about what time they had to go to work? It doesn't feel like one is "dragging it out" if they don't feel like saying goodbye after dinner...
