Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
35 is one of those age that is sometimes a little tough for dating. Many people that want to get married or LTR's are typically in one in the later 20's and into the thirty's as well, I think a lot of times you start to see more divorces starting to happen in the later 30's and into the 40's, just very loosely spekaing, and 35 seems to be that age that more people tend to be in relationships already. Just anecdotally speaking here.
Like others have mentioned you might want to just focus on the kids a bit more and if something happens it will, but as you get a bit older you might start to see more people become on the market again. IDK, just a few thoughts.
This. Raise your kids first, then you can focus on yourself.
When I split with my ex, my son was 5. I didn't even entertain the idea of dating until he was of an age that I could leave him alone for a few hours. I had no time to worry about men - my son kept me plenty busy and quite happy as well. Raising kids trumps dating. Any. Day. Of. The. Week.
Yeah you have mentioned it before and remember repping you about it
I'm not a parent myself yet but have 5 god kids so a decent indication.... And I agree of course ... About kids keeping you busy ..
But it's great that you made a decision and it's clearly worked out for the both of you
In my life I have seen many ladies who were raising children from multiple 'baby daddies'. Of course back in the 70s and 80s that was not the term used. But it is a term that has came into common usage in the past decade.
The immediate first impression I get from any lady raised multiple children from multiple men, is that she is of low morals. I know this sounds insulting, I do not intend to insult anyone. But that is where my thoughts go. She has been leading a lifestyle of sleeping around with multiple guys, long enough to get pregnant from each guy. And each of those guys is now on the hook for 20 years of child-support.
There is no greater warning flag to guys, go near this female and you will be on the hook for 20-years paying to raise a child.
I have known a lot of men who got caught in such a trap. [granted their morals were no better]
If you date a guy and get pregnant without a marriage license, then as a female you know exactly what you are doing.
I find the whole idea of 'baby-daddies' sad. A lot of lives are ruined by this.
Is the future life of the female any better for having multiple children? No.
Is the future life of the guy any better for having to pay child-support for 20 years? No.
Is the future life of those children any better for being raised in a single-parent home with revolving door BFs? No.
I know a few blokes that have done and one that took on 4 kids
It's really not that unusual. I didn't hurt for dates when I was still in the dating scene. Were there men who were child-free or not interested in dating a woman with children? Indeed. But these men were the exception considering the majority of men in their late 30s to early 40s were previously married, most with at least two children of their own.
My husband was one of many mid-30s+ childless man I met and went on several dates with. He's a lucky guy, as he often says.
It's really not that unusual. I didn't hurt for dates when I was still in the dating scene. Were there men who were child-free or not interested in dating a woman with children? Indeed. But these men were the exception considering the majority of men in their late 30s to early 40s were previously married, most with at least two children of their own.
My husband was one of many mid-30s+ childless man I met and went on several dates with. He's a lucky guy, as he often says.
LOL yes I'm sure you had plenty of dates and that he's a very lucky bloke!...... Your grammar/spelling is excellent ( )
But seriously LOL I've often said if the bloke is crazy enough about the lady in question and believes her to be special then many will date one that has kids ... ( absolutely no doubts in my mind that's you ).
That's actually a great point and it can be dependant on the age of a bloke so I agree
Things have consequences. I don't mean that punitively, necessarily, but they do.
If I study to be a biologist, chances are I won't get an accounting job after 15 years of working as a biologist. Not because I'm stupid or wrong, just because I'm already way down a path.
By 35, I'd say the single/divorced guys are well into not just their career but also their general lifestyle and habits, and I can understand how they'd be reluctant. Plus if they're divorced, they are probably half broke and busy trying to maintain their own 2-home life.
As someone in the same situation, this has been my finding. If they want to jump into our crazy life, it has proven to be because they wanted to use me.
I don't want to keep having casual sex. Been there, done that. That's another thing that puts men off, and now that I'm post-wall it's very hard to find someone who will accept me as I am, without judging me.
So don't. I do not have casual sex. And the last few years have proven I can't keep a relationship longer than 6 months so no use trying. One day I will find mr. Right, but until then I can do without sex.
Of course there are guys who just want a little and then a sayonara. There always have been. This isn't an advent of online dating and it certainly isn't exclusively a single mother's dilemma. You say no, and then you say next...easy. You two are on different pages, no sense being upset about it or trying to change it.
As someone who was widowed at 34, I can tell you that most men in their 30's and 40's do NOT want to think about their own mortality, nor do they want to feel they are competing with a ghost, so no matter how long it's been since he died, that right there is going to be a stumbling block - and I say this with NO kids. Throw in 3 kids on top of that, and it reduces your chances even more significantly.
As for seeking out widowers, having the death of a spouse in common is not enough to make a relationship work, contrary to what seems to be popular belief. IME of watching my friends find love again, very few have gotten together with another widowed person and most are with someone who is non-widowed.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
.. 
